Write a Letter you Cannot Send (Read the Rules!)

[Venatici]

Dear T,

thank you for being here for me when I needed it most
I ain't sending this to you because I don't want you to know about how the nightmares are getting worse and how despite the fact I tell you I'm fine I really miss everyone
I'm not going to tell you about my own intermittent explosive disorder or my antisocial personality disorder because your my last line of defense and I will tell you eventually but not now
I need to prove to myself that I can be a loyal friend
thank you for being as stubborn as I am
and thank you for listening even though I know it upset you but we compromised and I don't know how to thank you enough
thank you for being a true friend

sincerely,
admiral array

[roelian]

Dear Person-Whose-Name-I-Forgot
Thank you do much for bringing your pets to school ;w; It did me good to play around with some puppies for an hour before my final. The cat, though, wasn't too interested in any of us. I enjoyed it though cx It's been a while since I've seen my own pets. Thanks for that little morale boost, lord knows I needed that.
~ Sincerely
A stressed college teen

[debris]

Dear weird dude who sits behind me in church,
I don't like you, you're gross. Quit trying to flirt with me!! You know I already have a boyfriend.
So please leave me alone. You're weird and creepy.

Sincerely, that girl who sits in front of you.

[CookieMonster3000]

Dear ____,
I am infatuated with you. You can never know. That would be awkward- given the circumstances. I want you to know that when I act like an idiot, it's because I've never had many friends. I don't know how to act. Also, sorry I cling to you like some sort of needy infant. Same reason as above.

Myrealname

[de|e‌‌†ed]

--------Dear Self,
wow and here I am, sitting here on a computer on this thread
writing a message to myself. how lame... I guess... though I
really do have to get this out somewhere.

everyday I remember back then, those days- no years
that you haunted me, two simple mental illnesses creating such
a damage on my life. pathetic.
I never used to talk to anyone but my parents and my sister,
even in a public area with no one around but my mother
I was scared; or I guess petrified would fit in
better. hah, yeah...
I would cry a lot, who ever knew paranoia and social anxiety
would make such a great combination~!

then I remember 5 years later when I finally got some
medication to help me that I had to take for a year and a half.
slowly I was getting better; talking to people [ a bit ],
doing gym, etc. and then everything went perfect.
at least for a while.

because here I am now, not as bad as back then
but still as annoying as ever with the wonderful
so called thing, Social Anxiety.

I don't do gym anymore and when I watch others
the only thing I wish is to be like them.
never have I ever before, and never will I.
i always feel like people are making fun of me and
I never talk during class, making everyone
frustrated and angry at me.
crying at least once every week to sleep
has become a habit now.
im afraid that soon I will become like how I was back then.
its getting worse.
though its not my fault
yet at the same time it is
you know what
I don't even know anymore
its so confusing
I think I should just get over it

but the thing is self, I just can't.

from my scared self.

[Oliverstorm]

I feel like something is wrong, horribly wrong. I can't focus, since you're not online I tried to read a book and I couldn't. The food I ate is making me feel sick, and I'm afraid to shower because what if I miss a text from you, and you need me?

I hope you're okay. I'm worried so much, more than I ever have been before I think and I don't know why.

Sincerely yours,
-------

[monochrome.]

Dear D,
Oh my gosh you're just so wonderful in every possible way and I can't make you see that and it's crushing me.

You saved me from myself so many times, when I was in a dark, sad, place you pulled me out of it with your smile.
We've been through everything together. You're the only person I've ever told my big secret, and I talk about the deep stuff with you. Not just the top layers, the deep, dark and dirty. You help me see parts of myself that I wouldn't otherwise see, and you have done so much for me.

But now you're slipping away, back into the same rut you pulled me out of. I don't know how to help you, and I'm so scared that I'll lose you. You don't believe me when I explain your epicness to you, and you're constantly down on yourself. Please, please, please listen to me. Listen to me when I tell you that you are just amazing on so many levels, that hanging around with you is the highlight of my day, that you've lit up so many people's worlds. Please believe in yourself again! You can do whatever you want to, just believe in yourself! Stop being so down all the time, you're amazing, I just can't seem to figure out how to show you that! *hug*

Lots and lots of love,
Anna <3<3


Dear B,
I love you so much. I can't even begin to tell you how much your music speaks to me. It reminds me that there can be some happiness found in the dreary, bleak, depressing world we live in, and it lifts me away from my miserable existence, if only for a short while. When I put my earbuds in and hit play on one of your songs, it's like magic. I get goosebumps, and I'm able to forget my pain and burdens.

I just wanted to thank you so much for all you do and to tell you that you are such an inspiration to so many <3<3
Anna


Dear B,
Please, please, please, please get better. I am begging you. Get better. Please. You're all I have left, you're the only thing I have left from my old life. I need you so much, please. Please don't leave me. Please. I don't know how to help you, and you can't tell me, and I just love you so much.
Lots of love and begging,
Anna <3<3


Dear self,
This is pretty pathetic. Yup. But you can't keep a journal because your parents would find it. And that cannot happen, under any circumstances. They already read your texts, there's not much more privacy they could violate.

But anyways, I hate you sometimes. You need to get your life together!!! Instead of spending time on this website ranting to yourself, you need to be studying! You need to stop this mental breakdown of yours, get up, shake it off, and take a deep breath. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, get some confidence, and take the reins. Close your eyes, take a big breath, and block out those stupid parents reading your texts aloud downstairs. What do they know? Nothing. They have no idea how broken you are, they barely even know who you are. Besides, they can't take away the three things you love most, although they've taken away almost everything else. The monster inside you cannot touch your heart, your mind, or your soul, and neither can they, although they've sure tried.

Deep breath, play a song, and start making your life better. Brace yourself - the morning's going to be a rough one.

[SoundAndVision]

Dear A.S.F.,

You been on my mind for a while now, Its like im constantly thinking of you and hoping that you are okay. I realy want to help you and to be able to show you i love you for who you are. diseas, or no diseas, make-up or no make up, smile or no smile i still love you because you are who you re and you dont change you self for others, you do what you think is for the best for yourself as long as you know it will not harm the others aound you. I really do care about you, and I wish you could see that, Ive alwayshoped that when we hg that you would be able to feel what i feel for you.

sincerly,
Dont forget your lemon juice...

[apollo.]

Dear friend,
What I said to you was uncalled for and cruel, and I'm really sorry. It's just you were really freaking me out and I just lost it.
I already have a low tolerance for annoyingness anyway. No one will leave me alone when I sit with you guys. I always have 4-6 people stealing me food, then I get routine pokes in the side from this guy who thinks it's funny, and then there's the other guy, who's just the best thing that ever happened to us- that's what he thinks anyway. He steals my food, hugs me against my will so tightly I can barely breathe, pokes me in the side, makes fun of me and ruins my conversations with people I actually like. I'm getting really sick of this, and when that thing was already freaking me out, and you went and did that I snapped. Sorry. But honestly it's your fault, You didn't need to do that. Have we taught you nothing? It's actually common sense and then you wouldn't stop.
Your friend

Dear ____,
Thanks for talking to me today. You are super nice, and thanks for being nice to me. Oh and especially for giving me the pencil when I needed it. I doubt you'll remember by tomorrow, but I actually freaked out when I thought I had lost it, and then made my brother give it back. I really appreciate it. I don't really have any friends in that class, so it means the world that you would act all nice like that.
From, that girl who laughs a lot


Dear orange,
I actually thought you were super nice. You Made an effort to talk to me, and made me feel better me when I was sad. So, as it turns out you are a sexist jerk. Please, continue to flaunt your sexism openly, and in front of me.
Love, that girl who ignored you all day.
Ps. Everyone says you have a crush on me, but I don't really believe that. But if you do the feelings not mutual.

[vvoland]

heilee;;

oh god lets just do it. lets forget about college;; about the dreams we've held and the lives we'd change. I know you're hella afraid too but I can't be responsible. You don't want to either. And there's always that fear;; what if I don't get in to ucsd.? What if you don't get in to ucd.?
so screw it. we should go for it. hell, we're platonic soulmates. you know it'll work;; you know I can plan these kinda things. lets get out of this godforsaken country. lets leave behind everyone because why the hell do they matter.?
and you told me you'd come with me.
so lets move to japan.

-summer