TheComfortCorner | V.7

[.zombie]

currently battling the thought of becoming an actress when i get older.
plan on getting into nyu, auditioning in nyc. but i dont even know if i have what it takes to get in such a high standard school rip.

but it sucks because i dont have what it takes. i dont.

lets face it, most actors are considered beautiful and need their looks in order to be on camera. my body, on the other hand, is proving hard to cooperate with. ive tried loosing weight multiple times but it ended up with a eaten tear filled ice cream bowl [how ironic]. how am i supposed to get a position? surely i dont wanna have the opportunity to play the ugly fat friend in every movie i audition for.

i dont have the guts to do it either. i have emotions inside me. i am a very emotional person. i know i can unleash those emotions but i know i cant in front of a big crowd, or else ill look "stupid" or somethin.
the business is hard to compete in. most of the ones you have seen on screen are strong and willing to fight back to take the lead role. i dont even have the guts to raise my hand in class haha.

the main thing is i really dont know where to start. should i submit headshots to a website or buy a catalog or??? im a teenager, i have a lot of time to figure things out but i really dont know how..


idk. feel free to reply if youd like, but this is just a way to store my thoughts.

[Herlock Sholmes]

Idk I've been getting more worried each passing day about something but I don't know what. I have no justified reason for being worried.

[Dystopian Roach]

It feels as if it's rotting away
my heart begins to decay as it leaves a smell
that could make the bravest man sick

It feels as if a stick had been shoved into the side of my brain
causing a pain
that I wished would stop existing
As I stand there
Paralyzed

But when my foot hits the bedroom door
I feel liked I had stored it all for so long
so as my room floods
I fall to the studs on my legs, the things we call knees

And smile

knowing that feeling
Pain
Is better than
nothing at all.

[Politics]

Please, please stop.
I don't know how to care like you do. I can't 'fix' it.
I can't help it. I'm just this way. But i need your love
More than anything else right now.
I'm not in a position to bargin anymore,
I don't know what i did to you.
I thought you loved me, it makes me so
Incredibly happy, but i don't want there to be
a catch. I'm this way, yes, but that doesnt mean
I don't love you. I'd give up the world to spend
a second more in your arms, but you've been
Ridiculing me lately for something i just
Can't help.

please, please don't hurt me for that.

[.Ranger.]

Soooo it has been decided, 100%, that I'm having a major surgery. They have to cut skin. I've had mouth surgery before, but this surgery is bodily skin, not in my mouth. It's a full day surgery and I'll be in bandages I think for two weeks. I'm kind of scared, I was scared the first time anyways. However, my mom will have to take care of me. I'll be an adult and i haven't had my mom take care of me because of something since fourth grade when I broke my thumb and had a cast. I'm so nervous because I won't be able to work [ill be quitting where I'm working now probably, I'll just have to find a new job before the surgery]. I'm so nervous, I just had to get this off my chest. I've wanted this surgery for forever, but now that I might actually get it I'm actually kind of scared.

Thank you for listening.

[Dystopian Roach]

Soooo it has been decided, 100%, that I'm having a major surgery. They have to cut skin. I've had mouth surgery before, but this surgery is bodily skin, not in my mouth. It's a full day surgery and I'll be in bandages I think for two weeks. I'm kind of scared, I was scared the first time anyways. However, my mom will have to take care of me. I'll be an adult and i haven't had my mom take care of me because of something since fourth grade when I broke my thumb and had a cast. I'm so nervous because I won't be able to work [ill be quitting where I'm working now probably, I'll just have to find a new job before the surgery]. I'm so nervous, I just had to get this off my chest. I've wanted this surgery for forever, but now that I might actually get it I'm actually kind of scared.
Thank you for listening.

surgery takes paitence.
time.
courage.

But yet the ill feeling of suspense gets to us.
Yet, you are in the the hands of people with more experience than yourself.

We have to remind ourselves that we won't feel a thing, and yet, after all the hours our body takes to heal afterwards.

It was worth it.

There isn't winning a race against yourself, so let your mind stop, breathe, and slow down.


Everything will be ok in the end.
if it's not ok,

it's not the end.

[saturnalia]

what is wrong with me

why can't i do anything right

[Moonlit Walrus]

I feel like... the world.
It's crueler than usual.
I cant find inspiration for my drawings.
Here i go, with my ranting on and on...
that kid was right..... im a stupid idiot nobody cares about.
I wanna sit in the corner of my room and stay there forever

Everything changes, that's life, i know.
But i'd rather have change than time randomly NOT changing at any moment.But... i feel like nobody cares about me.
I was banned from the computer for a full hour just because i accidentally hit my mom's hand.
Nobody responds to me anymore. i feel... abandoned. Like an old ghost town, im one of the houses. sitting there, waiting to be broken down by the rennovators that is the world's community. Sure, im an extrovert, but as i grow, my introvert side kicks in.
Nobody talks to me... but this only applies to stuff like this... like chicken smoothie. But in real life, im the "Silly-popular girl." The kind of dumb kid-acting doofus. I get conversations 24/7. But... in the social world, thats not who i WANT to be.
And, i sent my crush a message that expresses my feelings. word for word, here it is.
So... you know now.
My secret's out.
its not a secret anymore.
It's a bit awkward now, which isn't how i wanted it.
But, i can't change people's opinions and outlooks.

But, you know anyway.
Yes, *his name was here*, I like you.


*CRINGE* OH GOD I COULD HAVE DONE LIKE 5000000x BETTER
any advice at ALL, or is this gonna plan out like all my other replies here, responseless and useless, like me.




*GOAT/DOG/FERRET/WALRUS SCREAMS FILL YOUR EARS WITH REGRET*

[Moonlit Walrus]

It feels as if it's rotting away
my heart begins to decay as it leaves a smell
that could make the bravest man sick

It feels as if a stick had been shoved into the side of my brain
causing a pain
that I wished would stop existing
As I stand there
Paralyzed

But when my foot hits the bedroom door
I feel liked I had stored it all for so long
so as my room floods
I fall to the studs on my legs, the things we call knees

And smile

knowing that feeling
Pain
Is better than
nothing at all.

Wow... i feel like im typing to Langston Hughes. That was... emotional. deep. beautiful. Y O U M U S T U S E T H I S P O W E R F O R G O O D

[Dystopian Roach]

the storm outside the window
was bearing a heavy delivery of rain
I stood outside, and watched as it stained the concrete
Leaving the faint scent of something fresh

I let the droplets hit my eyes
Because I despise it when people notice
When I begin to cry

I sit in the rain, a single thought in mind
My idea was in line and well planned

Maybe if I sat in the rain
for long enough

I could drown
in something other
than my guilt.