Forest-Fires wrote:Forest-Fires wrote:Around March last year I met a boy, he was friends with some of my male friends and he seemed alright.
About a month or two later we became sort of friends, not talking out of school nor directly going out of our way to talk to each other, we had a few classes together.
Maybe three months after I first met him I realized I was thinking of him a lot, and that I had a crush on him. We shared similar interests and got talking on Instagram every now and then. One time at school I was messing around with my friends and him and he hugged me, which made me euphoric and so happy at the time.
After going to a mutual friend's party, we gave each other our phone numbers, which we hadn't done before. After that, I took my opportunity to confess how I felt about him. He didn't really give me much of an answer, but I could tell he didn't like me back. We didn't talk much after that, but when we did I could tell he had changed.
He started to say things about my body and asked for inappropriate pictures (Of which I refused to give him), And started manipulating our conversations to that topic. This obviously made me feel uncomfortable, and I asked for him to stop, but that didn't have any effect. He used to be such a nice, funny guy.
I stopped talking to him for a while, and he would only message me occasionally, so I started to stop thinking about him. But he knew that I liked him, and his course of action was to manipulate me.
If I started a conversation with him, he would follow through for a short time, giving me what I wanted, to have him talk to me like any other human being, Then change the topic back to what he wanted, as always.
This hurt my heart a lot, and I didn't realize he was doing it until I told one of my close friends.
This escalated to him threatening me, which in a later conversation, he stated that he knew it wouldn't work and that he should've known that "A smart girl like me" wouldn't have fallen for it.
Things slow down here, no contact for a month, and we get to where we are now.
I've started thinking of him lately, and I don't know why I can't move on. But school is coming back for me soon, and I'm nervous about what is going to happen with him, if he's going to continue this or stop. When our school meets up, his class sits behind mine and he sits directly behind me which makes me uncomfortable, and I can't change that. I want to be friends with him, but I don't want to have any classes with him or have to be near him at all.
I hate him so much, but I love him.
I don't know what to do or how to feel.
Any guidance?
Please reply, I know it's a long read but I really need help
Hey, I understand it is easier said than done, but you have to be strong for this one.
He's shown his true colours, and they're not very pretty. I don't know this guy, obviously, but what you've written about him sounds like he might turn out to be very toxic. Emotional manipulation and threats are abusive behaviour, and you should walk away from him.
There are plenty of guys that are nice, funny and actually really are nice and funny, instead of just appearing to be like it.
My advice on a course of action: Block him online, only talk to him in class if you really have to and even then keep it business like. "Grey rock" him. That's how you make manipulative people lose interest in you; don't engage too much, give "boring" answers. (Ie. If he asks "How are you?", just say "Fine" and end the convo)
Show him he doesn't have any power over you and that he can't manipulate you anymore.
Instead, try to find some distractions from the heartache and be kind to yourself. C:
