kinlist

[vixenmatch]

i need to be autistic and let strangers psychoanalyze me /lh. read through the thread for detailed infodumps abt how i connect to each character

[vixenmatch]

first and foremost i connect with homura akemi a lot because i feel a kinship in the idea of losing myself to the same recurring traumatic memories returning over and over again, having to relive the same events for so long no matter how desperately i try to learn and make things right. to lose some of the pep in my step in the height of my teenage years because i constantly sabotaged my free will and joy to keep others happy, even when i knew my words would fall on deaf ears because i had a violent saviour complex, not unalike homura's plight in saving madoka over and over again when she knew deep down that she could never rewrite madokas fate

[vixenmatch]

i kin blaze and luna for similar reasons to one another. i relate heavily to blaze's character arc in that she believes the fate of her livelihood rests solely on her shoulders, pushing away help because she feels that since her responsibilities are hers, entangling others in her matters would instill a great amount of guilt in her and additionally interfere with an inevitably present sense of pride. luna felt heavily rejected by equestria because her subjects took the night to rest, rather than appreciating the beauty of the night. as a result, she became an angsty and infuriated nightmare moon, forcing celestia no other choice than to banish her beloved sister to the moon to protect equestria, taking it upon herself to rise and lower the astral bodies herself. once nightmare moon returns, the mane six show her kindness and acceptance, reverting her back to luna, and over the course of the series learns that her subjects do appreciate her, but simply in a different manner to her older sister, and that she can make friends and take on the world in her own way independent of her royalty. both blaze and luna can be hotheaded, irritable characters, and initially started out as very cold, solitary people who rejected friendship. but through an extremely learned process, through the support of their friends, they learn that it's okay to accept help, and to loosen up from their many years of solitude and bitterness. i relate to initially finding it very difficult for myself to open up, make friends, and to be vulnerable and accept help. i used to be very cold, and found myself constantly bottlign up my emotions in an act of external preservation of my friends feelings whilst being disingenuous to myself. i also relate to being reserved and poised on the surface and occasionally talking in a very eloquent manner, but also i am of course very silly under that easily dropped facade

[vixenmatch]

starlight is like 100% a bpd coded character and just so happens to be my flavour of bpd. starlight had very few friends as a child, and watching her once inseparable best friend sunburst excel above her as they slowly drifted apart due to his newfound talents was extremely difficult for her to process. believing sunburst to become some incredible world renowned wizard, she became upset with envy and believed that this was inherently an imbalance of power, but, of course, because she hadn't talked to sunburst since she was literally a child, she had no idea what was going on behind the scenes in reality, and sunburst was even more of a dweeby loser than she was. they were equals all along, sunburst just had more privilege than starlight did in order to pursue his dreams earlier than she ever did. i find myself heavily idolizing other people too, comparing myself to them at all given times and inflating the significance of their actions shen in reality they are not much different from myself. starlight, in spite of being a VERY strong leader, loses a lot of her confidence when she realizes much of her former pride was rooted in power rather than genuine belief in her abilities, and must relearn the ability to confront the idea of being comfortable accepting that she is good at what she does. shes also extremely adamant about being the therapy friend, and at any given opportunity she will jump at the idea to help others out, friends or not. she's very awkward and silly, and has a tendency to go a little off the rails when shes upset at herself, and learns over time to be accepting of her own flaws and mistakes and they only make her... well not human. i suppose an individual. nvm that sounds dumb. they make her "human"

[vixenmatch]

i relate to silver's passion, determination and ambition to do the right thing, but i think the biggest aspect of silver that i see in myself is his autistic attributes. silver can be extremely naïve, but his heart is *always* in the right place. we both struggle to communicate our wants, but we are very good at communicating our emotions. we're far more aware of our feelings at any given moment than what is actually happening around us, which can make it difficult for other people to help us because they don't see the full picture of what we are trying to accomplish because we just dont know how to put it into words. we can both get really frustrated when people want to help us because we are adamant that we know what we're doing, even if the people around us in reality get the bigger picture more than we do. silver struggles to read social cues often, such as jokes or insults flying over his head, and his intonation is very awkward and all over the place at times when he's being sincere. people might see him as annoying or abrasive, but he's a very very kind and sweet individual who's just trying to better the world for everyone. even at the cost of his own life

[vixenmatch]

sonic is wayyyyy simpler than the other characters ive mentioned so far. i relate to sonic's passion and drive, confidence, and his complete adamance on the concepts of freedom, self control, individuality, environmentalism, and keeping any and everyone out of authoritarian control. a very punk character. goes at any and all costs including property damage to fight for what's right. always willing to see other people's sides of the story, no matter how aggressive toward him or if theyre literally trying to kill him. he may show off and criticize but he is in fact living by his own feeling and doesnt give in or compromise /q /funny. he's who i want to be someday

[vixenmatch]

lightning round. i relate to lillie feeling out of control of her own life and feeling the need to abide by what others want of her, rather than living for herself, until shes met with an external driving force that inspires her to be her own person, to not need to idolize her mother and to accept how flawed she truly is and essentially stick it to her, and evaluate what she wants to do with her own life. aubrey had a troubled childhood that was made up for by her friends, but as time rolled by into her teenaged years and she lost touch with her former friends, she struggled to find herself without her friends by her side and felt angry at herself, her friends and the world, unsure of whether she could still be kind whilst experiencing so many violently complex feelings in such a short amount of time witn absolutely zero support group behind her. rarity exudes confidence in herself, no matter how little others believe in her, and her willingness to consistently give to her friends and strangers alike for the greater good is applicable to myself. i relate to yuri on a much weaker scale than anyone else here, but i think that her choosing to indulge in her bizarre niche interests and feeling outcast, unwanted, and twisted for what she enjoys is something i can relate to