LOCK ME PLEASE C:

[Toppyrocks]

Oh April, I'm so, so sorry. I'm literally in tears right now, and I hardly ever cry. Don't feel bad about feeling sad and upset, it's perfectly acceptable. In fact, I'm a firm believer of giving yourself a chance to mourn before trying to get over it. And really 'getting over it' is an awful term. I don't think you should get over it, getting over it makes it sound like forgetting and pushing those emotions aside, which I don't think you should do. Someday you'll look back on this and just remember what a good horse Max was and how much you loved him, but that spot in your heart will never be filled and that's both sad and a good thing. It means he left an impression on you, he was good for you.

Seriously, I don't know what I would do if something like that would happen to my barn, to Jesse. I think you are handling this so incredibly well for having happened not too long ago. Don't blame yourself, I know you still will because I blame myself in the smallest way for Toppy still, even though it wasn't my fault just like the fire wasn't your fault.

We missed you, but that's ok because we were just worried about you. I'm glad you weren't in the barn cause it means you're safe. We're here for you, okay? If you need to vent or rant or anything, we don't mind listening. Don't feel bad if you do, K?

[Mr.Milo]

@Flitter: I am sooo sorry i almost cried reading your story but your right about those two idiots though. We have some people in our barn that smoke but never do they put the cigarette out of the barn or near the parn its usally in the mud. I wish i could have gotten to know Max he seems like a great horse, though he was a lesson horse he was seems much more than that. You shouln't be feeling bad that your crying. I haven't made a connection with any horse at my barn yet but i know if my dog or cat died at the hands of a carless person i wouldn't know what to do. I agree with Hano that you were brave though, and you even went to school I couldn't do that. At least Max is in a better place, though no horse can ever replace him!
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[Kickin' up dirt]

@Flitter, I am so sorry That's awful. I feel for you. I'm sure Max had a great life <3

[DraftHorseLover]

@Flitter ~~ I'm soo, soo sorry flitter, I can't believe that happened, and your not overreacting like raindrop stated above, i understand what you mean by your connection and you have a right to hate them, when ever, anyone does something as stupid as smoke in a barn, they should be there to deal with the consequences. A connection like your speaking of, it, gives to the relationship between horse and rider, and it sounds as if, even though he was a lesson horse, he would do anything for you, and it isn't your fault, remember that. Stay strong and I give this as a symbol of my sorrow for you <3 Thunder is the sound of Hoofbeats in Heaven, so whenever, ever it thunders, remember Max is up there, having fun and being himself. Even though I didn't know him, he sounded like the most perfect horse and even though you weren't his owner, He trusted you.

[gam]

Oh Flitter...listen, we're ALL here for you. Every. Single. Stinkin'. One. Of. Us. It's not fair you have to go through this, but you've got like dozens upon dozens of awesome horse-people shoulders you can cry on.
Ownership is just a piece of paper with some signatures on it. It doesn't matter who technically owned Max, he was yours. oyu belonged to each other, and that's all you need to know--You loved him, and he loved you right back.
Best of wishes, dear. You will get through this. Is you EVER need anything, you have us to talk to.
Don't give up, stay strong Flitter. You'll get through this.

[Dolphinlover~]

@Flitter: Oh my lord, that story put me into tears and my heart is aching. I am feeling such a strong pain in my heart and I never even knew Max. Wow those people are just awful. I hate dislike people that smoke to begin with and after hearing this -- this just puts me to tears. I understand all of your feelings at what it's like to love and to lose beloved horses. You and Maz had an incomparable bond and it's awful to have something like this happen. This is still so traumatizing to me and I wasn't even there, I still can't even wrap my head around this. Girl, let me just tell you that you will be the strongest horse person I know after going through this. I know this probably won't help make you feel better, but this will make such a strong person. Don't you dare blame this on yourself and there was nothing you could have done. I don't want to sound like a jerk here but I hope those people go to jail. To start a barn fire and just run away ;-; I am glad you have Rose now though <3 I am sure you and her will also be a match made in heaven. If you ever need anything I am here for you my dear.

Good luck my dear and all the best <3 You and Max will be in my heart and prayers.

Best wishes,
~Dolphin

[Bluebird22]

Flutter: I am so increadabley sorry for your loss!! Max, will always be remembered as your four-lagged love.

I have to make thins kinda short, because I have to go to bed early as my sisters are comming into twoen tomorrow. Here's how my lesson went. I sadly didn't have captain, he wasn't even in my class :,( but I did get to ride this beautiful black TB mix (I think) Daly (prounounced daily). He is such a sweet heart. There are four people who are in my class, none of which are my age, but oh well. We did different patterns, some two-point stuff, lots of trotting, infacts that's all we did lol. Then after, we untacked, hosed down and turned them out. I learned so much. My favorite pattern was one where we did a brisk trot around two cans then we had to figured out how to make a correct turn so we would gently turn and go though these two coans which were in the middle of the ring, after that we trotted back around the first two coans then back into line. My mom was complaining that we spent two hours at the barn, but I think that's because my grandma and uncul were there. I'll get pictures next time my dad comes. And tomorrow I WILL answere everything. =)

[wibeke]

Flitter: I'm so so sorry for your loss. Max sounded like such a wonderful horse, I always looked forward to hearing about your rides and all the little improvements you guys have made. you two really were an amazing pair, he was very lucky to have you. It's clear that you really cared about him, and I'm sure he loved you back.
I really hope those people that ran off get what they deserve. It's disgusting that they could just run away and leave the horses. I can almost expect that out of someone who's foolish enough to smoke in a barn, but his girlfriend even left her own horse? That's just awful, I really have no words and I'm so sorry that you had to go through this.
Rose sounds like a lovely horse, though. I'm glad you get to work with her, she sounds like a real sweetheart and it's wonderful that you manged to get something good out of this tragedy. I look forward to hearing more about the two of you. ^^

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Well, this might be long.

Thank you everyone for your advice and encouragement. It really means a lot! <333
I'm certainly going to speak with my trainer about this, and I really hope I'll be able to sort thing out. And thanks for tolerating my whining, lol.

Dolphin; Aww thank you. <3
Yeah, I know it's not all about jumping higher and higher and I don't mind doing flatwork- to be honest jumping makes me somewhat nervous, I just hate feeling like I'm supposed to be a lot farther along than I am. I'd love to at least get to the point where i can jump a jump on a horse that can actually do it without being kicked, yelled at, and bribed just to lazily step over it.

Oh no I definately didn't mean to imply that Mully is a push button and none of that was aimed at you. I'm so sorry if it came off that way, that's not at all what I intended!
There's a huge difference between a good, well trained horse and what I consider a push button. Mully sounds like a lovely horse, and you two have such a nice bond. He's the sort of horse that knows how to do everything you're asking of him, but it's not like you just hop on, give a squeeze and then just let the horse do all the work. Those are the people that annoy me, the ones that get the crazy expensive ponies, ride like crap and then say they're good riders because the horse makes them look good.
I'm incredibly jealous of you and Mully, but for a different reason. I genuinely want to be able to ride like you someday, and I would love to have a horse as willing and awesome as Mully. He's certainly no push-button, I've read enough of your posts to know that. ^^
And once again, thank you! But I think you'd do a wonderful job on Major, or really any of the horses here on the thread. I've seen your riding, you're a spectacular rider and you shouln't lose any amount of confidence in yourself from reading about other's horses. You do an amazing job with Mulligan, and you'd certainly do just as well on any other type of horse.

Yes, I'm definitely going to talk with my trainer. The problem is both my trainer and the girl I ride with are both kind of... intimidating? [yes, I am over powered by a 12 year old =P] My trainer is one of the nicest people I know, but I'm such a shy person I have a lot of trouble being able to even really talk to her. I really want to voice my concerns and I've been meaning to ask to do private lessons for quite a while now, but I just never get around to it.
Half the reason I started riding in the first place is because I'm so shy and... useless around people. I bond with animals a whole lot easier than I do with people. I stutter a lot and suck at getting the right words out of my mouth, but that doesn't matter around animals that don't talk. I love to ride, but I'm not so keen on the whole "dealing with people" thing and that's why I tend to get pushed aside. I know if i speak up she'll do what she can to make me feel included and do some jumping, it's just getting up to that point that's the problem.
Although there's a really fancy barn a bit farther away from me so I guess that's still an option. I wouldn't be able to bear leaving Major and Manny and all the horses that I learned to ride on if there's no way around it.


Hano; Thanks for the advice. ^^
I'll certainly talk to her next time I have a lesson. I'm not particularly close with her, she's awesome and nice and we talk occasionally but as I said above I'm really shy and tend to avoid conversations. I'm going to try and get there early though, so that I can hopefully grab Harry before Oliva gets there [it's basically turning into a "first come first serve" thing =P] and then talk things over with my trainer. She's said that we're going to jump soon and I don't doubt her, it's not her fault that things always get in the way.
I actually did tell her that I want to ride other horses because, while I love Major, I want a horse that I can focus on my position and riding rather than keeping the old slowpoke moving and she pretty much responded, "I was waiting for you to say that!" xD

I might actually start working with Molly, a quick little 10 year old welsh pony. She's not exactly green, but having been a lesson horse since she was five she has a ton of holes in her training that need to get patched up from learning everyone else's bad habits. She likes to shoot off and ignore the bit, especially when she jumps. I've ridden her before and struggled because I'm not used to sensitive horses, but I think in the meantime while Olivia has a death grip on Harry she might be worth a try? This pony can certainly jump- people just tend to get scared because of her quickness.

[...Dawn...]

@flitter im so sorry im praying for u!!!

[Livid-Silver]

Aww Flitter I'm so sorry. That is absolutely horrible, I loved reading all your stories about Max and improvements. It doesn't matter he was only a lesson horse, he was your lesson horse. Hopefully there will be soem kind of punishment for the people who lit the fire, it shouldn't be something they are allowed to get away with >: I really don't know what else I can say that everyone else hasn't already said. At least you have Rose to help you now, she sounds lovely <3

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They still haven't posted the complete results to the showjumping yet >.< It's kinda annoying lol I'll do a recount of the show and my lesson tonight tomorrow ^^ It'll be good when I don't have any assignments to do XD