Lights On Lights Off Fanclub

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Re: Lights On Lights Off Fanclub

Postby ElementalInsanity » Thu Sep 28, 2017 5:27 am

Whew does time fly by?? It's already almost October and LOLO time! I'm psyched.
So before I went posting my form to the thread for mod inspection, lol, I wanted some feedback and opinions on my dressup and story. ^^
You made need to hard refresh, I know I did. You should see a blue fish tail. ^^


Also I had a question about this rule:
"You may have multiple trick or treaters in your story, but may only show an image of one
NO: Have multiple images of all your trick or treaters"
I'm confused. Does this mean people can have multiple trick or treaters or...? ^^"



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It was time again! Scurrying around his room as fast as his little paws would let him, Velvet was throwing on his costume parts and was reely quite pleased with himself. His lack of size called for creativity and many small pieces to make a fintastic dress up this year. After his dress up last year as a bee it had really been shrimply hard to decide what he wanted to do this year. Why, he had the option of being another bug this year... After the fun summer event, however, Velvet was gillty of wanting to be a merhamster! Arming himself with his trusty flashlight and treat basket for the coming night he headed out to begin his journey for the night.

Getting around wasn't the easiest for a merhamster out of water so hopefully Velvet's little secret of just being in a costume tail was hopefully not revealed by his little paws poking out of the tail as he scurried about on his night. The other costumes were just thrilling to sea as well as all the fun or spooky decorations that the houses themselves were dressed up in. This was dolphinitly going to be a fun night for trick or treating! Whale, here goes nothing! Scrambling his little self up the steps it was time to gather his courage and knock on the door. Raising his little paw, Velvet knocked several times and raised his squeaky little voice. "Trick or Treat!"
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Re: Lights On Lights Off Fanclub

Postby Crassula » Thu Sep 28, 2017 6:03 am

ElementalInsanity wrote:
-snip-

Image
It was time again! Scurrying around his room as fast as his little paws would let him, Velvet was throwing on his costume parts and was reely quite pleased with himself. His lack of size called for creativity and many small pieces to make a fintastic dress up this year. After his dress up last year as a bee, it had really been shrimply hard to decide what he wanted to do this year. Why, he had the option of being another bug this year... After the fun summer event, however, Velvet was gillty of wanting to be a merhamster! Arming himself with his trusty flashlight and treat basket for the coming night, he headed out to begin his journey for the night.

Getting around wasn't the easiest for a merhamster out of water, so hopefully Velvet's little secret of just being in a costume tail was hopefully not revealed by his little paws poking out of the tail as he scurried about on his night. The other costumes were just thrilling to sea, as well as all the fun or spooky decorations that the houses themselves were dressed up in. This was dolphinitly going to be a fun night for trick or treating! Whale, here goes nothing! Scrambling his little self up the steps, it was time to gather his courage and knock on the door. Raising his little paw, Velvet knocked several times and raised his squeaky little voice. "Trick or Treat!"


    you're missing some commas; i bolded sentences where you're missing them and underlined the two words the comma goes between.

    also, just a little unnecessary but good tip, the sentence "Raising his little paw, Velvet knocked several times and raised his squeaky little voice" is a bit repetitive because you used the same structure for the previous sentence, so maybe replace it with something like "He raised his little paw and knocked several times, then squeaked out, "Trick or Treat!""
    just a suggestion !

    and i love your dressup and story, it's very cute and the puns make it unique !




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Re: Lights On Lights Off Fanclub

Postby halloween3110 » Thu Sep 28, 2017 8:13 am

Your trick or treater:Image
Your story:
As usual the Pumpkin King (PK to his friends) carved out his pumpkins, ready for the Hallowe'en Holiday.
This time though, something strange happened.
Whenever he looked at his carved pumpkins, they appeared to be a little.. well.. different.
Every day that passed, he noticed slight changes.
"Did that pumpkin just drool?" he thought.
"Oh my - I don't remember carving fangs on that one?"
"What is going on?"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Suddenly, he heard it: "PK, will you help us? Will you get us some Candy?"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As he wandered around his pumpkin patch, PK looked in wonder as they rolled towards him.
"PK, please help us - we need candy in order to survive!" they exclaimed.
He was not afraid, these were his creations after all.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So PK decided there and then that he would do his utmost to help keep the Halloween spirit alive and dressed himself in a costume.
It was a bit basic, that's the truth - but he was more interested in the fun and help he could give to both his Pumpkins and others who needed him.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And so his quest began :
A light beckoned in the darkness.
PK quickened his pace and came into a clearing that displayed the most amazing house he had ever seen.
Decorations adorned every window, candles blazed within beautifully carved pumpkins.
The aroma of spiced pumpkin pie, candy apples and sparklers filled his senses.
He approached the door in excited anticipation.
"Trick or Treat!" PK exclaimed. Then knocked....
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Any thoughts?
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Re: Lights On Lights Off Fanclub

Postby ElementalInsanity » Thu Sep 28, 2017 9:41 am

spjcy wrote:
    you're missing some commas; i bolded sentences where you're missing them and underlined the two words the comma goes between.

    also, just a little unnecessary but good tip, the sentence "Raising his little paw, Velvet knocked several times and raised his squeaky little voice" is a bit repetitive because you used the same structure for the previous sentence, so maybe replace it with something like "He raised his little paw and knocked several times, then squeaked out, "Trick or Treat!""
    just a suggestion !

    and i love your dressup and story, it's very cute and the puns make it unique !


ahh thank you so much my dear. Comma placement and grammar never has been my strong suit. ^^”
And yeah, it does sound repetitive now that you mention it, so I really appreciate the tip. =)

I’m a sucker for puns. Eheh.
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Re: Lights On Lights Off Fanclub

Postby Celozon » Thu Sep 28, 2017 10:47 am

    Hey everyone, I'm excited to make an announcement! We got quite a few good applications for the moderator position on the thread, but we have come to our decision.

    Our new thread moderator is Burrito Bunny!
    And our new fanclub moderator is shush!

    We will no longer be looking for new thread moderators are this time, but I am willing to possibly take one more person as fanclub moderator, so those applications will remain open. If you applied for the main thread but did not get chosen and would be interested in the fanclub position, you are allowed to submit an application for fanclub moderator.
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Re: Lights On Lights Off Fanclub

Postby still » Fri Sep 29, 2017 2:34 am

Hello all! As Celozon mentioned above, I'm pretty excited to be the new fanclub moderator so feel free to contact me with any questions or concerns you might have and I'll try my best to help c:

However, I do have a (hopefully) fun question for anyone on the fanclub to answer:

How have your Halloween dress-ups or story changed over the years you've been playing LOLO? Do you keep the same story/dress-up or do you change it every year? Or, if this is your first year playing, do you think that you'll keep the same story/ dress-up next year, or revise it?

I know that, for myself, I've kept my story and dress-up pretty much the same for the past two years I've been playing LOLO. But, the first year I played, I had a completely different story and I attempted to dress up an octopus as a pilot (which was quite a challenge, to say the least).
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Re: Lights On Lights Off Fanclub

Postby SilentMelody » Fri Sep 29, 2017 5:04 am

    nice to meet you, shush! i'm sure you'll be a wonderful moderator :)

    last year, i believe i had a witch? and this year is a totally different pet, but she's a vampire/witch thing too. i usually keep it around the same basis, but last year the pet was more scared when going out and actually said goodbye to their parents at home. this year, the new pet only says goodbye to her cat and is really excited to be trick-or-treating (i mean, who wouldn't be?). i'm not really sure if i'll use this one next year, as i always try to go for something new but end up doing something really similar to the previos year, oops.
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Re: Lights On Lights Off Fanclub

Postby gremlin » Fri Sep 29, 2017 9:02 am

how does this look?

"Sol bounded down the stairs, showing off to his mother his new costume. “look mama I’m a witch doctor, can I go now? Please? Please? Please?” His mother only sighed and nodded with tired eyes. “remember t…” she was cut off by an exited bark “to always say thank you, not accept rides from strangers, don’t eat all the candy or I’ll get sick, don’t egg any houses, don’t get into..” His mother smiles and says “Yes.. all those rules. I only say them because I care.” Sol panted after his long spiel. He grabbed the small cauldron he would be collecting candy in and threw open the door. The cold autumn breeze played upon his face as the blanket of darkness covered him. He turned back to see his mother picking up her Stephen King book, and then he ran. It was his first year going alone, and he was slightly nervous, but he was 12 now, and that meant it was time to grow up. Even with his thick fur the breeze still chilled him. He shivered a few times but continued running. He saw the first house, light up like a jack o lantern. He took a deep breath and padded up the cobblestone driveway and knocked. "
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Re: Lights On Lights Off Fanclub

Postby halloween3110 » Fri Sep 29, 2017 2:42 pm

How is this :
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It's meant to be my Trick pet, but I never usually give tricks - lol
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Re: Lights On Lights Off Fanclub

Postby sweet tea » Fri Sep 29, 2017 4:22 pm

i've created my trick/treat messages for this year! both include the same first paragraph, but the responses to it differ. i wanted to utilise my item hoard pet this year because it's just too funny. this is my trick message:
"
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      Pet's name: blubblubblub





Many things seemed awry about this house. As the door creaks open, a fish comes into view. At this point, there are many questions one may concern themselves with: What is a fish doing in a house? Why isn't it moving? Why is the building completely filled with water on the inside, but no water is pouring out through the door? And lastly, for what are all those plants?

A tiny bubble escapes the stagnant fish and rises to the ceiling. Nothing much is to be gained from this experience other than feelings of discomfort, confusion, and frustration. As one walks away, the door slowly closes behind them.

Trick.
"
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aaaaa




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