Username - SilverSamurai
Name - Shiki
Gender - male
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How do I explain it when I don't know what to say
What do I do now - so much has changed
Nothing I have ever known - has made me feel this way
Nothing I have ever seen - has made me want to stay
[ 1k story limit ] [ 200 for facts/extras/coding ]
"But you
have to! It's you were chosen to-" "What if I don't
want to. I've never wanted this, why can't you understand that?" "You don't have a choice is this, Shiki. It's already been decided that you will-" "I don't need this, and I don't need
you."
- grew up in an aristocratic family; Shiki's father was killed by his now step-father, who married his mother into the aristocratic lineage.
- Shiki is heir to the family title, and was raised to prepare him for such.
- runs away the day he was to receive his title and doesn't know anything about the outside world.
- awkward and scared, somewhat stuck up and expectant of others from being raised as a noble.
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Fog clouded my vision as the world blurred past me. My feet heavy, but I can’t stop. Not now, not after what I’ve just done. I don’t dare look over my shoulder, if the servants are after me, then they’ll never find me. I skidded around a corner, not knowing where I’m going in the unfamiliar village, but not caring. I just have to find somewhere to get away.
Dust kicked up in clouds as I ran faster and harder than I ever thought possible. My thoughts raced just as fast as my legs were moving, and I’m sure how much longer I can keep this up. Tears pricked at the corners of my monotone-colored eyes, but I didn’t care. It was too late to care. Before I knew it, I slammed into something and toppled to the ground with it. Scrambling to my feet, I realized with shock that it was another viscet, though she looked… different. Well, I’ve never seen an outside viscet before, but I didn’t know what to expect. I took a step backwards, but my shaky legs gave out under my thin form. Her eyes went wide as she took in my appearance, and I couldn’t help but feel a bit self-conscious under her gaze. My blood ran cold the moment she spoke, “You… why are you outside your temple? Aren’t you the heir to-“ I cut her off quickly, tears welled in my eyes once more as I tried to explain myself with a shaky breath, “I-I don’t… No. Well, yes, I am. But not anymore. I don’t want to. I don’t want….” I couldn’t continue. The more I tried to put a voice to my racing thoughts, the more I felt myself breaking apart.
Was it selfish to run? I was only thinking about what I wanted. I don’t want that, I never did. But that’s all I was raised for, what am I for wasting all that time and effort? I’m a failure. I never wanted this… “Hey,” The female began softly, bending down to my now shaking form and placing a warm hand on my shoulder. I tensed at the touch, but eased into it after a moment. It wasn’t something I’ve ever felt before, but it felt… nice. Physical contact with others was strictly prohibited in the temple, deemed as unnecessary and a pointless show of affection. As the world seemed to be crumbling around me, realization hit me like a brick.
Here I am, outside of the temple I spent my whole life in, without a purpose. I feel small, weak, confused. Without a purpose. …Free?
A careful paw wiped at the tears staining my face and raised my head gently, and I looked into her yellow eyes that were filled with concern. “Calm down, you’re alright. You’re going to be ok,” She helped me back to my feet and brushed some dust off my fur before continuing, “What’s wrong?”
I told her everything. How my father was killed and my mother was married into the aristocratic family. How I was chosen to be my new father’s heir. How my entire life was dedicated to that one thing. That I’m…
scared. That I don’t want it; I never wanted it, but don’t know what else to do. She sat next to me and listened to every word I cried out until my voice became whispered sobs once more. “Well, what do
you want?” Confused, I only stared at her until she explained her question further, “What is it that
you want. You know what you
don’t want, but what is it that you do want?” I looked down, tears threatening to fall once more.
What do I want? Wouldn’t that be selfish? But… ‘I… I don’t know…” I started, my voice small, “I don’t know about anything outside the temple… I don’t know what I want. I don’t know what I should do now…” The female put her hand on my shoulder and smiled at me, it was a strange and foreign gesture to me, but I welcomed it. Her voice was as soft as her touch, “For now, do you need a place to stay?”
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It’s been two months since then, and I’ve found out a lot about this new world around me, but even more about myself. It’s nothing I’ve ever known, but I’m not scared. Not anymore, thanks to Notus. The female who helped me back to my feet became my closest friend. Well, my only friend. Relationships within the temple weren’t exactly allowed. I’m learning about this world; the
real world. It’s absolutely
amazing. So vast and limitless, how could anyone choose just
one thing to do with their life? There’s so much to do, so much to see. That’s what
I want, I decided; to do a bit of
everything. I may not be good at it, but I’ll try my best to have a real purpose in my life.
