Destiny Roleplay ( Open and Accepting! )

[Cᴏᴍᴍᴀɴᴅᴇʀ Sʜᴇᴘᴀʀᴅ]

Feron | Human Male | Nightstalker Hunter | Tagged: Nadia/Any | Location: Earth -> The Tower -> Nadia's Snazzy Apartment

Feron had drifted back into a much lighter sleep within moments of laying his head down again. His shoulders still felt stiff, and his back had only a small ache to it which lead to the factor of him drifting away so much easier this time. Toes stretched apart beneath the blankets as the minor shifting of the bed was regestered, however he'd remembered that she'd gone into the bathroom, perhaps she was returning now? The warmth was regestered next as she returned to her spot, and as she moved his arm back around her, his fingers gently grasped her side as if to bring her closer if it were possible. A long yet content sigh left him after the two resettled, the comfort of her presence lulling him back into a deep sleep that would likely rest through the entire night.

As the sun began to change the lighting of the room, he would slowly start to wake. At first he would become aware that he was awake, but refused to open his eyes, instead getting lost in his thoughts for what seemed like ages. Before long he would finally blink his eyes open, turning his head slightly to avoid a direct hit to the face from the sunlight. It was then his gaze turned down, finding Nadia still where she'd been through most of the night. A small smile stretched his features, eyes blinking a few times before he would let his thumb brush across her side in a comforting mannor. Being positioned his he was, he could not risk getting up without waking her, and it wasn't as if he minded getting to lay there with her in his arms for a bit longer. He'd stay like this for eternity if he could. His gaze remained on her for a few moments longer before glancing out toward the window. It promised to be a warm day, well as warm as Russia would be in the middle of the year.



Carmela | Human Female | Sunbreaker Titan| Tagged: Ileana/Any | Location: Earth -> The Tower

The Titan remained mostly silent, only humming an agreement to several things Ileana stated that were indeed true. Shoulders remained rigid and Mel grew more restless the more words that Ileana poured out at her. Feet shifted against the metal grating on the floor as the Titan turned her head just enough to watch Ileana with a curious but neutral expression. The expression was immediately replaced with caution the second Ileana pulled the grenade from her belt, but it wasn't as though the expected the Warlock to activate it and blow them both out of the sky. "I don't exactly know what you want me to say, Ileana." She finally muttered, pushing herself to stand now. "But if anything I need to keep a check on my temper. It's not healthy for either of us with how short my fuse is. You want to talk? Fine, lets go home, get into something comfortable, and have a civilized chat." Her gaze shifted to Rila who was happy to have control of the ship again before she would be transmatted down into the Plaza. She was faintly aware of something still going on over at 'Carlisle's tree', and only passed a glance in the general direction just in time to watch a familiar Titan bumping into him, leaving the Hunter covered in steaming liquid. She bit her lip to prevent a laugh from leaving her before turning toward the elevator. She took several steps in its direction before turning to wait for her Warlock.



Mehki | Human Male | Sunsinger Warlock | Tagged: Spartacus/Any | Location: Earth -> The Last City

Helping humans? The Warlock had to bite his tongue to prevent the scoff that threatened to leave him. Humans were weak, that is why Guardians were necessary in this new age. To Mehki, it was survival of the fittest. If you fell behind you would be left there to rot. He'd much rather be putting bullets into things, then to help these humans that relied on the Traveler and its Guardians for survival. "There are many things you can learn away from the seeking hands of the Humans. Humans are creatures of greed, when they feel they have something worth giving, they always ask for something more in return." The Warlock muttered, hands moving to straighten his robes for a moment before returning to his side. He'd much rather steal what he wanted, while that was classified as his own twisted greed, it never mattered to him, since he never had to give anything in return.

[A.Kira-]

((Who is creepy stalkin' on Shep's fanfic? That's right. Me. I'm diggin' it, though. Feron is pretty awesome. -- As far as cosplayers there were a lot of good ones. There were so many deadpools. Some guy in a spot-on deadpool costume wore a banana suit over that, made some 4 year old girl's day. I have never seen so many Harley Quinns cosplayers. Last year there were some pretty intense, all-out cosplayers that obviously had way too much time and money on their hands but they didn't make an appearance this year. I guess they were mad about the change of venue, too. The main attraction all day seemed to be the vendor that was only there to advertise for a different con, which seemed kinda weird. -- Because I am seemingly incapable of finishing this stupid Akari/Roman picture I've been working on for dang CENTURIES I am going to put it on the back burner for now. Otherwise I'm going to rip all my hair out. Ileana stand-alone, here we come.))

Ileana~
Somehow she felt she was still doing something to upset the Titan. Would there ever be a happy answer? She held back the look of disgust that threatened to crawl across her features. That wasn't what she needed right then. She was supposed to be getting along with Mel. Proving that she was incapable of doing so at the beginning of the conversation about getting along was extremely counterproductive. She was a bit surprised that Mel opted to go to the apartment again. She had assumed the Mel would want to chat over mauling an archon. She didn't bring it up, though. Only followed the Titan to the plaza.

Ileana's ghost would move near her when her boots hit the ground. "Go get a new shell," Ileana advised to the ghost, walking toward the elevator. "There should be a few in the ship to choose from. If you bring it down the apartment I'll help you swap." The ghost bobbed in agreement and disappeared without a word. Ileana felt eyes move over her and a shiver ran down her spine. It wasn't a pleasant feeling, having every soul in the plaza look at you like you were going to draw your weapon on them any moment. She double-timed it after Carmela, only relaxing when she was in the elevator with her back to the wall. the grenade still rolled over and over in her fingers. It was an almost therapeutic behavior, driven by anxiety. She didn't open her mouth again. She would wait until she was spoken to or they were inside the apartment.

Akari~
Between the warmth that radiated from him and the sound of his voice she was having trouble keeping herself conscious. The pain pill probably wasn't doing her any good in her efforts to stay awake. She fell in and out of awareness, quickly relaxing into his form. "I didn't know you had a sweet tooth," she mumbled in response, sliding and arm over him. As tired as she was she was still careful to avoid his injury, opting for the lower portion of his torso. "Maybe I'll put sprinkles on pancakes some time for breakfast. For some reason that sounds like a good idea." When his lips met her forehead she smiled, her arm tightening around him. "Love you too," was the last coherent words she could manage before she gave up on her fight to stay awake. Attempts to mumble something here and there were made but they were only soft noises with little meaning behind them. Before long she was completely quiet, a rare feat for the motor-mouth hunter. Her ghost tucked himself under the blanket on the bed and wiggled around to ball it up over himself. He moved slowly as not to wake his guardian, pulling the blanket over the duo. When he satisfied with it's location he moved on to deal with Akari's cup, only half-finished. The cup was transmatted downstairs to the sink to be cleaned.

The ghost would attend to busy work while his guardian slept, mostly having to do with her filthy armor. He would have cleaned the prosthetic up but she had worn it to sleep. She usually didn't but the ghost could only assume that she didn't yet have to courage to take it off near Roman. Acceptance was something that didn't come easily for his guardian. He often wondered if she'd fully accepted the handicap herself. Sure she worked on it and was fully aware of the limitations it imposed but she didn't speak of it very freely. It was still treated as something that was to be shunned. He moved back into the room to check on his guardian, paying no mind to Roman. A quick scan ran over Akari's wrist. Elevated heart rate. Another one of her less pleasant dreams he supposed. The ghost settled down on the nightstand next to the bed amused by how much the two guardians had in common. Crazy family, nightmares, and so many other things that they both seemed to bottle up without realizing they could just look to the person at their side and see the same struggle.

[Cᴏᴍᴍᴀɴᴅᴇʀ Sʜᴇᴘᴀʀᴅ]

|| xD I haven't even touched that in months. Oops. Really need to finish the next chapter. Its the one that's got me to stuck because I'm not sure how to continue it x_X. Sorry this took so long. I got drug onto the xbox to do weekly stuff and figured I'd catch Xur before he left. ||

Carmela | Human Female | Sunbreaker Titan| Tagged: Ileana/Any | Location: Earth -> The Tower -> Personal Quarters

Carmela watched Ileana with an expressionless gaze as the elevator doors slid shut. Word got around fast through the tower about Ileana's slip up with the weapon, but she could only hope that it would not cause problems for her and Charlotte. Who was she kidding, Anwen probably already heard and was just itching to use that against her in the case. The thought had her sighing, shoulders slumping from their usual broad position. How could she counter that? She really couldn't..

Eyes shot up as the door dinged to announce they were at their floor, huh that was quick. With her head down, she stepped through the door, turning left to head for her apartment. If Ileana had to change, Carmela had to change too. It would be unfair to not have something to balance it all out. The Titan knew she had anger problems, not enough to seek out anger management courses, but enough to be noticed by those she interacted with. Her jaw flexed as she shoved the key into her door, letting it swing open wide so that Ileana could trail in behind her. "Lock it." She would mutter over her shoulder, already pushing into the bedroom to get changed out of her armor. Her gaze scanned over the suit that still hung on the door. It seemed like so long ago since she had worn it. A brow furrowed, and she tore her gaze away from the clothing as Rila made her presence known.

"Ship is fueled and docked." She would whir, using a transmat to remove the Titan's armor and leave her standing in a loose fitting top and baggy sweats. "I'll send your armor out to get cleaned, so try not to blow a fuse and burn the place down?"

"Yeah, thanks." The Titan murmured, pulling at the baggy shirt with an unhappy expression before stepping backward to sit on the edge of the bed.

[A.Kira-]

((That's ok, I just restarted chapter 3 of mie for the thousandth time. I'm not used to writing in first person - which is why i did it - so I'm having trouble not being annoyingly repetitive. And I'm extremely stuck with some aspects of Ileana's older personality. So don't feel bad. ))

Ileana~
She followed Mel into the apartment, closing the door and locking it silently. Her ghost appeared before her, swapping her armor for casual clothes and taking away the grenade. The Warlock moved down the hall, resting her hip against the door frame to Carmela's room. A shell dropped into Ileana's hand and she glanced at her ghost. "Hold still," she said quietly to her ghost. Usually the ghost could have transmatted the shells but the shattered pieces of her shell posed a threat to her being if she slipped up. Ileana slipped her fingers between the ghost's orb and the shell, pushing back the broken material so the ghost could slip out of the shell without risking her life. Ileana held up the new shell, a simple matte black and within a few moments the ghost was in it, quickly dipping away from Ileana's hand. "It won't happen again. Now go, rest," she tilted her head towards the living room. Her ghost faded away, leaving Ileana with a shattered shell and no small amount of guilt.

She moved her fingers over the broken shell in her hand, spinning it absently. She had wanted to talk to Mel but didn't know where to start. What could she say? Everything felt so wrong. Any words that came forth sounded false and empty. "As little as this must mean coming from me I can't begin to express to you how sorry I am. I lost myself somewhere between how royally screwed up I am and all the emotion I bottle up. I can't explain to you what's going on in my head right now because I can't pin it down myself. It's a mess up there. I thought I could contain this mess to my life alone but I know what I did up there will impact you." A soft pop came from the shell in her hand, letting her know she needed to relax. "It's selfish and dirty but I can't lose you. I'm torturing you with my inability to control myself. There's only one way I can get any better than I am now and I really don't want to do it but I will. I thought I could keep going forward- I have for so many years. One foot in front of the other. Now I know that I'm losing my mind. I can't watch you fight with that."

[Cᴏᴍᴍᴀɴᴅᴇʀ Sʜᴇᴘᴀʀᴅ]

|| I'm having trouble with kinda the same thing with Feron. Poor guy -sighs and pats him- ||

Carmela | Human Female | Sunbreaker Titan| Tagged: Ileana/Any | Location: Earth -> The Tower -> Personal Quarters

The Titan's gaze lifted as movement appeared at the door, icy gaze watching as Ileana assisted her ghost in swapping shells. She couldn't tell who had more guts, the Ghost, or Ileana for being anywhere near the other. Ileana did just try to crush the thing, and now was showing what appeared to be compassion in assisting the old shells removal. She turned her body away after a few moments, turning her gaze so that she could gaze out the windows to take in the sights the world had to offer. There was a heavy sigh that left her, eyes landing on the Traveler and tracing the scars that were etched into its marbled surface. It had suffered just as everything else due to the darkness. Would they never escape it?

Sorry? She was Sorry? What the hell was sorry going to do? Nothing, that's what. She tensed at the angry thoughts that crackled through her like lightning, biting back her words, and doing what she said she would to keep her anger in check. She took in a deep breath, and let it out slowly with a shaky huff. What Ileana had done up there? Impact her? No, it would utterly destroy her. Crush her world and snuff her fire out. Her gaze fell into lap now, legs pulling up to fold under themselves with her hands laying between them. "And what way is that?" She managed, shoulders slumping slightly in an almost defeated look. She could only assume that Ileana was going to leave, force herself out of Mel's life, and that would also crush her.

[A.Kira-]

((My problem is I'm running first person from Ceres' POV and trying to establish who ileana is but through somebody elses eyes entirely, not from third person. It's surprisingly annoying. I've thought about dipping into third person for a chapter to run Ileana but that would seriously take away from what I'm trying to do. Grrrr. -- I have to be a awake in a few hours. May or may not go to sleep. I usually wind up going to sleep when i say that so don't count on my being awake lol))

Ileana~
Every movement Mel made hurt the Warlock. Why did the traveler have to give them intelligence when it brought them back? She would have preferred to have been an empty mindless shell designed for war. Without thought or care. Emotions sucked, and she would stand by that until the day she died. "Well, I'm too selfish to leave. If you'll still have me I'll stay. Of course you will, you don't have the heart to be rid of me. Take the personally if you will, it's true." the shell cracked again and she forced herself to relax. The mangled shell was working wonders to warn her of her temper. "I am long overdue for one of those stupid doctor's appointments. I've been avoiding it for years. Clearly, I've been avoiding it too long. As ridiculous as it sounds I haven't actually been diagnosed with anything yet. I haven't given the doc a chance to try and find an answer I've only been treating the symptoms. I never had a reason to know what was wrong with me. It was a burden I didn't want to put on myself. Without knowing what was wrong with me it was easier to pretend it was benign. That sounds stupid, I know, but that's because it is. It was irresponsible and I'm sorry. I know I gave you that pathetic lecture way back when about how there was no reason to feel weak over PTSD and medication isn't a crutch as much as a tool but I can't look at myself in the mirror and tell myself I have everything under control when I'm a lab rat in some crazy doctor's office being poked and prodded with needles and electrodes and EEGs line the walls-" the shell shattered in her hand and she stopped speaking to slow herself down.

"I pulled a gun on my son. I refuse to believe he is who he says he is because he's not, he is not August and he never will be. I almost killed my ghost today because it tried to comfort me. I tried to give up on change today and not because I- I thought I was right but-... Because I wanted to. I knew there was no way the fallen got through there and pulled him out for research, I knew that no guardian or civilian wanted him but I wanted to go down that path, I saw it before me and I could taste the blood and I wanted to embrace that darkness and everything it is to me and I didn't want to stop myself but something in my head shifted, a moment of clarity that I was lucky I had that told me he was alive and that I couldn't give up on everything just because it was easy. I keep going back and forth between thinking I'm right and I'm wrong and I can't see the difference. You're the only clear thing left, the only thing that makes sense and that in itself is insane because we do not work together at all but I'm not giving this up anytime soon. I need you."

She tucked her tongue in her cheek, shaking her head. Her hand lit up for a brief moment, enough to eliminate the shell from existence without leaving so much as a trace behind. "You do what you need to do. You can ignore me, scream at me, tell me you hate me. You can't parcel up and store in your head the hell that I'm putting you through simply by existing in your company. If it's any consolation I'm already working on a defense to use in this custody battle about what happened today and I'll find a way to fix this. I'll fix it all, I'll fix everything, I have to. I have to do something."

[Cᴏᴍᴍᴀɴᴅᴇʀ Sʜᴇᴘᴀʀᴅ]

|| Ah I see how that can get a little confusing as well as frustrating x_x, I hope it eventually works out for you though! I should probably do the sleep thing too, but I must fulfill my Destiny and get this friggin Warlock leveled up lmao. ||

Carmela | Human Female | Sunbreaker Titan| Tagged: Ileana/Any | Location: Earth -> The Tower -> Personal Quarters

Her hands twisted together in her lap, eyes watching them as the knuckles turned white from the strain she was putting them through. It was the only way to keep her mind from slipping away and letting the anger bubble up. As Ileana began to speak again, the Titan listened, hands shifting from one another to play with the hem of the over sized shirt Rila had put her in. Keeping her hands busy kept her mind focused, and her hands would likely continue to shift to different things within reach once they grew bored with one object. She only paused in her movements when the cracking bounced around the room, and she passed a glance over her shoulder to see the shattered shell that Ileana clung to. Better just the shell, then the Ghost in the shell, with that thought her shoulders rolled and she turned her gaze back out the window, hands now playing with the ends of the drawstring that was sewn into the sweats.

"When you told me of his death, I had a brief thought that he could come back as a Guardian if a Ghost deemed him worthy. I never voiced the thought because it was not my place to do so, I felt privileged that you shared the information with me at all, and didn't want to spark an argument over the matter. Now I almost wish I didn't have that thought at all. I wish we hadn't even left the damn house today. Before we got on so well, now? I can't even speak without worrying that I'll say something wrong, something that'll trigger a fight, and I know you probably feel the same way." Her shoulders sagged more, and her gaze dropped back into her lap. "I don't want to give this up either, Ileana, but I cannot keep fighting. PTSD is a stress disorder, its even in its name, and every time we fight, my stress levels escalate to the point that no amount of medication is going to stop me from losing it. I've not lost a battle in a very long time, but I feel the weight of this one, and its smothering me."

She inhaled deeply after spewing all those words, keeping her emotions in check was something she was not entirely comfortable with, and it made her uneasy, anxiety crawling its way up her spine that she was doing something wrong. "I don't hate you, I could never hate you. I need you just as much as you need me, even if it doesn't seem like it."

[A.Kira-]

((MUUUUUUUUUUUR Why am I still awake. I have all the lines of my stupid Ileana picture finished but her hands - because I changed their position on a whim. Why is it I can draw some things but other things are the devil? *Glares at Roman/Akari project*))

Ileana~
She felt her jaw shift, her teeth grinding together in her anger at herself. The knot in her throat grew infinitely larger as Carmela spoke. You're killing her Ceres teased at the back of her mind. She watched as Carmela's hands moved over things, instinct trying to relieve stress. Let her go before you make it worse the twisted voice cackled. Ileana defied it, moving to be in front of Mel. She leaned her knee against the edge of the bed and took Carmela's hands in her own, holding them tightly. Part of it was for Mel and part of it was to ease the shaking in her own hands. She found herself back at square one. There were no words that could make this go away. There was nothing that Ileana could do to make it better. She couldn't stay, that was clearly hurting Mel. She couldn't leave, that would hurt her more. She couldn't change and she couldn't stay the same. She couldn't stop fighting and she couldn't keep fighting. She had never been so helpless in her life.

"I'm so sorry," was all she could think to say. They were such empty words. Sorry never fixed anything. "I'm so, so sorry. I was too selfish to see what I was doing to you. You've done everything for me and I won't let that be in vain. I'll never hurt you again, Mel. I'll be whatever you need me to be, I don't care if that means making you Queen of this Solar System or watching crappy movies over cheap take-out every night. I'll go to the doctor and I'll get myself sorted out. I'll give you every breath I have left in my body if that's what it takes. I give it up, I give it all up, for you. I'll never go back to who I used to be. Now until the day I die I'm yours."

[Cᴏᴍᴍᴀɴᴅᴇʀ Sʜᴇᴘᴀʀᴅ]

|| Hnnn I cry for you, but I'm in the same boat in the sense of I cant sleep. Probably because I slept ALL day yesterday. ALSO NHG that reminds me that I need to friggin work on my arts. Must do that later today >n<. ALSO I'm laughing so hard, while I was typing I was standing near the Vanguard in game, and some of the things Cayde says just crack me up.

"Psst. Hey, Guardian. Wake Up."

"Um, I'd love to stand around with you all day, but, uh… I'm lying, I would not love to stand around with you all day." ||

Carmela | Human Female | Sunbreaker Titan| Tagged: Ileana/Any | Location: Earth -> The Tower -> Personal Quarters

Each breath that left her was shaky, trying to control both the anger and the pain at once taking its toll on her core. Whether she wanted it to or not, one of those two emotions was going to burst forth to make way for the other. She was made aware of Ileana's movements by the shadow that passed over her, and as she lifted her gaze she nearly flinched back from the sudden hand movement. She nearly stopped breathing for a moment when she realized the hands were grasping her own and not moving to hurt. She took several shallow breaths, fighting the tears back as she lifted her gaze to meet Ileana's, hands holding onto hers as if her life depended on it. A muttered sorry was breathed out lowly in response to her sudden mini-freakout, her gaze darting to the time. That was likely why she was so jumpy and anxious, she'd missed her medication by about half an hour.

The thought didn't dwell long, seeing as Ileana began to speak again. The Titan lifted her gaze back to her now, brows furrowing together, and lips twitching in response to the words. What could she even say to that? Thank her? Ask her why? Anxiety sprung forward again with a powerful wave that finally pushed the Titan overboard. Tears welled in her eyes and were rolling down her cheeks within seconds, her head turning back down in shame from showing weakness, which only furthered the tears and added in sobbing. Her shoulders bounced with each ragged breath as the tears dotted her sweats, hands carefully pulling away from Ileana's to cover her face that was likely already red from the strain she was putting forth to stop the tears.

[A.Kira-]

((Haha I love Cayde. He's been worrying me, though. Says things about how he doesn't have much time left, he can feel "it" calling and so on. I swear if they kill off Cayde I'm going to cry like a baby. For days.))

Ileana~
She wasn't surprised when Carmela burst into tears. The problem lied in being on this side of the situation. She usually brought people to their knees with sobs. She didn't have much experience with picking them back up. She kept going around and around in her head with how wrong any words felt. Not that sentence it sounded tacky and not this one because it was a cliché and not those words because they sounded hollow. She could think of plenty of things to say in languages that weren't english but there weren't equivalents in the english language. Maybe saying nothing more was the right thing to say? She wrapped her arms around Carmela, one arm looping behind her back and the other reaching up toward her neck. Her fingers slid into Carmela's mess of hair and pulled her close. Her legs were locked uncomfortably over the side of the bed, one leg bracing her weight on the extension and one stretched behind her to the floor. Thank the traveler for inhuman guardian strength and stamina or she would have fallen flat.

What exactly the Titan was thinking was impossible to grasp at. Ileana didn't have the first clue. All she knew was the woman she loved was sobbing and she had to put the pieces back together somehow. She would let Mel cry for however longh she needed to. It could get annoying to hear people say how healthy crying was but unfortunately it was true. There was a reason it was a natural human reaction. Slowly and carefully Ileana shifted her body to lean towards the bed next to Carmela, resting her weight on hip when she finally hit the matress. There was no way she could sustain the position she was in for much longer.