( 'he'd probably zone out after the first sentence or so.' Rofl. xD )
Alice sighed and shook her head, sitting in her bed and reading a book. Now, that's not nice. You wouldn't like it if he did that to you, now would you? So leave him alone. Besides, sooner or later, I'm eventually going to have a baby, too, and you're going to be its father.
( I imagine Jack: *not listening, then somehow the last part he hears* "ALICE! YOU'RE NOT PREGO, ARE YOU?!?!?!" O.O Alice: -.- "Sometimes, I just hate you. No, you idiot." *mentally smacks him upside the head* Jack: "Ow... Okay, good..." *sigh of relief* "You had me scared there, for a moment or two."