(Hoo boy okay... I made this one really long. Sorry. Welcome to Angst™. Also backstory. Nobody besides Chinchy actually needs to read this, since it has no bearing on the overall plot.)Frisk Smith||Age 25||Female||Glitched-Looptale AU||Crush: (open)||Talking to: Storyshift Chara
Already tense and feeling patronized, exposed, and humiliated at the way this child was treating her, Frisk inadvertently jumped, slapped the hand away, and said, "Stop it, Sans!!" Then she froze, realizing the small myriad of mistakes she'd just made. Her face burned crimson with shame. "S...sorry," she muttered. "I just..." Her chest felt extremely tight, and she let a few sounds that were somewhere between laugh and sob. "Just... 'Forgiven'?" she asked bitterly. "Oh,
thanks. It's not like I've heard
THAT before!" The sarcasm was searing. "Forgiven until I mess up again. Forgiven until I get mad in some way. Forgiven until you catch me with a knife again no matter whether I'm murdering monsters or chopping up some vegetables!" She was vaguely aware that she was projecting her anger at Sans onto this kid who really didn't deserve it, but she couldn't bring herself to care. "So yeah,
thanks,
Sans, for your 'forgiveness'."
She thought that she would be done after that outburst, but something else Chara had said clicked in her mind, and, well, she was on a roll anyways. "Haven't done any harm?" she asked, voice steely. "You don't know anything. You're not qualified to make that call,
Kiddo, just like how
you're not the one I need to beg forgiveness from. I've done
plenty of harm, even to other versions of Chara." Why was she acting like this? She was almost bragging about her crimes, but she couldn't seem to stop. She had to explain herself. She
had to justify herself. "It was just hard to treat any of them as real when I knew that the
real one, my
captor, still existed outside of the timeline, watching me, but I harmed even
Them. They used to be passive, you know? They used to want nothing more than for monsters to be free and happy, but I..."
Miss Smith finally looked up into the other human's eyes. "I was
nine years old when I was killed by a
Froggit and returned to the little star I had touched only because I was nine and liked shiny things. Do you know what that does to a person? To find out that you're
immortal before you even learn where babies come from?? My entire perception of life was skewed. Then to find out that I could erase time and go back to the beginning of my adventure underground...
"Chara was always there, though I didn't realize it at first. At the beginning, their voice in my head sounded like part of my own thoughts. I wasn't sure where I was getting all the knowledge from, but I assumed I'd read a book or something and then forgotten. Only later, only after I'd begun to wonder what it would be like to actively seek out the power that I had only gotten by accident, did I begin to hear their voice as something distinct and separate, and, even then, they didn't truly do anything to influence my actions until
I had decided to walk down the darkest road."
She sighed, rubbing a hand across her forehead. "I think that my LV corrupted Chara, creating a feedback loop. The more LV I got, the more corrupted they got, and the more corrupted they got, the more they encouraged me to get more LV. By the time I'd truly brought the world to the brink, my cumulative LV without erasure from RESETS was likely over 100, so, yes, they erased the world and then demanded my SOUL to bring it back. Yes, they started to forcibly possess me whenever I created a happy ending and used my body to kill my friends and family to force me to RESET. Yes, they backed me into a corner and extorted me to force me to make a deal wherein I basically traded my sanity away to get my body back, but... ultimately, I was the one who started it. It took me years to accept that, but... I understand now. One of the benefits of being able to age despite time rewinding, I suppose... I know I'm not truly immortal, so I have to make my time count, you know? Even if the time itself doesn't... count."
Another bitter laugh escaped her lips, though this one was more definitely a laugh than a sob. "Even if, from the way I understand the nature of the Classic timeline, I count you as a Sans rather than a Chara, that's no better. There is
no one I've hurt worse and more than Sans. Even if I've probably
killed him the least, he's the one whom I've hurt the most in all this because he can remember though the RESETS and yet
can't through the glitches, so that gave me too much opportunity to take advantage of him and hurt him."
By this point, she was pretty much out of breath. She sank to her knees and sat back against her heels, letting her exhaustion hit her. She stared at the ground. "Sorry... I'm... done... for now," she murmured. "I've just been... carrying that for a long time. You don't deserve to have to put up with my emotional baggage. I shouldn't have exploded at you like that. I'm sorry. I just... I wanted to make you understand."
(Characters I've made solely because enjoy writing angst, emotional turmoil, and borderline insanity: 1. Frisk Smith.)