New Rule: DNI (Do Not Interact) Lists are Banned

[Poserpanda]

Yay, new rules!
I agree with those who accept this new rule. I would feel less safe just listing out the things that scare me.
Also if you want people to listen to you, it's better if you don't act rude and try to be nice. Be mature in your response and I am sure you can expect the same.

[Pear]

I didn’t even realize this was a thing haha though the most interacting I do lately is just trading x’D

But as an adult, I’m just going to chime in and say that you are going to come across upsetting things throughout your entire life, and you’re not going to be able to tip toe around things as much as you can on the internet. And all it boils down to is that you cannot control what someone else does. You can ask things of others, but not everyone is going to go out of their way to treat you any different than they treat others. It’s just a part of life. You can, however, change your own behaviors to avoid things you don’t like. If someone is bothering you or is a part of a group you determine you don’t like or upsets you, block them and move on.

The internet is not a safe space. You need to keep your personal info and the things that upset you away from the public eye, because while I’d like to say there are people who would respect your wishes, there are also people who will go out of their way to make your life miserable for kicks and giggles. Protect your info, and if something upsets you too much, it may be time to take a step back and take a break.
CS does a good job making this community accepting and as safe as they can, but it’s still the internet.

[Lacuna]

If you have questions or concerns about the rule, please post them in a calm, respectful manner. We are happy to provide further explanation beyond the initial post, but you must follow CS rules while making your comment.

[GoldieDoggy]

As an adult player, am I still able to say something like, for example, "please don't send me a PM if you are a minor since I am an adult", or is that too similar to DNI?

I was a bit curious about this one as well, not personally but I’ve seen a few people state this in sigs/etc

Little bump for this question! Not something I’d personally use, but I do know that there are a good amount of people wondering about this

[chaotic creativity]

I didn’t even realize this was a thing haha though the most interacting I do lately is just trading x’D

But as an adult, I’m just going to chime in and say that you are going to come across upsetting things throughout your entire life, and you’re not going to be able to tip toe around things as much as you can on the internet. And all it boils down to is that you cannot control what someone else does. You can ask things of others, but not everyone is going to go out of their way to treat you any different than they treat others. It’s just a part of life. You can, however, change your own behaviors to avoid things you don’t like. If someone is bothering you or is a part of a group you determine you don’t like or upsets you, block them and move on.

The internet is not a safe space. You need to keep your personal info and the things that upset you away from the public eye, because while I’d like to say there are people who would respect your wishes, there are also people who will go out of their way to make your life miserable for kicks and giggles. Protect your info, and if something upsets you too much, it may be time to take a step back and take a break.
CS does a good job making this community accepting and as safe as they can, but it’s still the internet.

this. this right here is something i agree with. i've been raised since day one not to reveal personal information online, starting all the way back from when i was little playing games on the pbskids website. this is just a logical response, and wonderfully worded.

[far]

As an adult player, am I still able to say something like, for example, "please don't send me a PM if you are a minor since I am an adult", or is that too similar to DNI?

Curious about this question!

[cuddlewuffle]

i think just as a general rule of thumb it should be kept in mind that not every site wants to have the same kind of environment/atmosphere, there is a particular atmosphere that DNI lists being permitted allows and just because it's cool in other forums or sites doesn't really mean that CS needs to be alright with it.

being allowed to participate on this site is a privilege not a right. it doesn't make sense to get disrespectful over this. if DNI lists make you feel safer that's cool but that doesn't mean that CS has to disregard everything else just for that reason- some people feel safer with their age in their bios on social media but CS doesn't allow that either for obvious reasons.

i feel like everyone can agree that DNI lists can at times be rude/strangely exclusionary and specific/feel uncomfortably targeted. and you can't really create hyper-specific rules to moderate something as variable as a DNI list. i think u can picture what kind of DNI lists im talking about without me explicitly saying so. CS has two options, either attempting to micro-manage what ppl can put on there, which would be chaos, or just disallowing them as whole. the second option makes more sense on a practical level.

DNI lists seem to be super common among younger people and are, as far as i can tell, the residual spillover of other social media sites which are much more massive than CS, are not nearly as well regulated, and thus led to people being exposed to content/profiles that would absolutely not be allowed even for a second on CS. those DNI lists were more necessary, on those sites.

but on CS? probably not. these mods work, like, overtime. you will never see a nasty fight over forums get shut down so quickly. there's a reason you can feel safer on this site than others, and it's because these mods work hard!

if DNI lists were allowed there would still be a long list of things that would not be allowed on them, as per CS's other rules. so mods would be flooded with hundreds of things to micro-manage, case by case. it is not fair to insist that they do this work just because you enjoy the idea of a DNI list. their time is not free and it's worth something.

by the way, saying you've never seen or heard of something happening doesn't mean that it doesn't happen. it's also not cool to be combative or rude when ur trying to make ur case. i was once a minor on sites that i mentioned earlier- i get it. but being snarky or insisting to mods while mocking with "well it's your JOB" does nooot get you anywhere.. definitely not as far as respect goes. lol. i don't want to imagine what CS would be like if the type of bickering that other sites are very well known for was allowed in these forums, christ

[Seasonal]

...ok ive seen several posts (that havent broken ANY cs rules) get deleted on this thread now. why?

If you have questions or concerns about the rule, please post them in a calm, respectful manner. We are happy to provide further explanation beyond the initial post, but you must follow CS rules while making your comment.

The comments that I have removed did not offer any constructive discussion or commentary.

[Guest]

On one hand, while DNI lists are very specific bits of information on how to trigger you, at other times they very well could be helpful. I can't think of a specific example though and it's taken me a good 30 minutes (at least) to type this out in the first place. 😭

For one though, I think most of the more active users on this website aren't the kind of people who will do such a thing as purposefully triggering somebody. Sure there are some who would, but that is as with everything that exists out there. It's almost similar to having a list of your own likes and dislikes somewhere. "DNI if you like spiders" is close to "dislikes: spiders", potentially "inviting" someone to show you spiders because you listed that you don't like them. Does that mean we should also ban dislike lists? Genuine question.

I do understand how DNI lists can expose people to certain content. Someone stumbles upon a word they don't know, wonders if they have anything to do with it, and looks it up.

Also, a lot of people are saying mods are deleting posts that disagree with them. It's not so much the fact that they disagree, from what I see, it's moreso how they're worded. They all seem to be worded in a really strong manner, at least in my own opinion, but I'm more the kind of passive person.

[marmoris]

Would like to say this is a very good rule change. DNI lists are seen a lot and I don’t agree with them in the slightest, because putting something like “(criminal/bad intentioned people) DNI!” when the reality is nobody who actually has those mindsets is going to be listening to your list informing them not to interact with you.I also appreciate calling attention to things like the “repost/sign up/do this if you do/don’t support x” because in reality any normal person wouldnt say they support something like abuse and wouldn’t need to affirm this to other people, it’s common deceny.

If you need extremely specific things in your DNI list then it’s best you keep it to yourself for your own safety and block those who may fit into it, may it be avoiding content including bugs for example. The fact people are disagreeing with this rule change is concerning, it’s basic internet safety in my opinion not to put your specific DNIs or triggers out for anybody to see. It is partially YOUR responsibility to avoid uncomfortable people, content etc. Sometimes there will be content or things that make you feel uncomfortable in your life, but I try my best to avoid content or situations that will intentionally upset me.

I notice this usually is something I see young people do and it puts a huge target on your head, that fits into all sorts of things that reveal personal information. One of the first things I learned and many others did too is to be careful what information you share about yourself, I thought this was still actively something taught and understood but I have noticed some people go as far to say “I don’t trust people who don’t have a [secondary website that includes a lot of personal information including what harms them]”. So i guess the idea of internet safety and privacy is not the same anymore, lol.

It’s often very exclusionary, as another has mentioned here. I can somewhat understand the CONCEPT of DNI lists but they just don’t seem very useful or practical. So thank you for this change, it’s a positive one, in my personal opinion.