-𝐋𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐏𝐞𝐭𝐬/𝐈𝐭𝐞𝐦𝐬-

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big chungus

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they did surgery on a grape

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shrek

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[Bitters]

User Bitters
I'm sure a lot of funny stuff has happened to me, but I'm drawing a blank. This story is relatively long, so strap in. The funniest moment of my life that I can think of was when,

I hung out alone with my friend "J." When I got to college, I met my own group of super cool, super unique friends. One of them, J, was every girl's dream. A literal aspiring rocket scientist who was in a band that opened once for P!ATD. A marathon runner. Despite being so absolutely above everyone I knew including myself, he was incredibly down to earth. Now,
I was great friends with him... Great enough to know that he had a lovely girlfriend and that he was off-limits. Our platonic friendship took us all around campus, and it was just so fun to have a smart and funny and cool friend. One of our adventures found us up on a bridge overlooking the main road in town on a calm winter night.
There was a blanket of snow and the stars were gorgeous. He pulled me to the edge of the bridge and I immediately thought about his girlfriend. I was telling myself that I could NOT be the other woman, not ever.
He whispered to me, "I have a question for you."
My heart could have leapt out my throat. It was gorgeous out. We were alone. On a bridge. Ahdhsjsj
"Bitters,"
STILL THINKING OMG THIS MAN HAS A GF
"If I tried wearing a diaper, would you do that with me? Or like, ate baby food?"

The end. True story.