i'm very gay, i'd like a few dollars

[zhongluc]

ever since he told me he liked me i've been super conscious of how i talk to people? idk if that makes sense but i think maybe sometimes i might be flirting accidentally? why do i feel icky saying that idk. i just mean like. i'm out here with heart emojis wishing her a good night like we've been friends for years but we've only been talking for like a week and i don't want to come off like i like her but i just? i care about her? i get attached real quick but like yeah i care about her and if i care about someone i try to show that. she was out here with the heart emojis first, though?
what counts as flirting? i googled that and got tired. Straight people exhaust me

[zhongluc]

i've been insecure about my voice since the time when i was 11 and on a skype call with my friends and their sister walked in, heard me speak, and then said "sounds like a man." since then i've spoken in this Anxiety Voice that's ten times higher than my actual voice and i can't yell or anything because then it starts getting even higher (that's not a huge issue because i also just can't bring myself to speak loudly i just can't be loud). my actual voice only happens 1) when i'm talking to my family and i'm completely relaxed or 2) when it's really late and i'm half asleep. when i speak with my normal voice it's like all scratchy too? from disuse maybe? and that makes me even more nervous about it. idk i hate both my actual voice and my anxiety voice, i'd rather not talk ever

[zhongluc]

I FORGOT TO GO PICK MORGAN UP

[zhongluc]

i feel terrible i haven't been able to focus long enough to reply to trades so now they're all cancelling with "no reply" messages hhhhhhhhjfmgng i feel bad but i just can't right now

[zhongluc]

i'm at an all time low right now i've never felt like this

[zhongluc]

me: always picking at my skin/any acne, constantly touching my face
me: why don't i have perfect skin

[zhongluc]

GOD jim and pam's wedding always makes me cry so hard i'm a baby

[zhongluc]

i don't .... want to be so sad anymore

[zhongluc]

MY PARENTS SAID YES IM GETTING RATS IM GETTING RATS IM GETTING RATS I CANT BELIEVE THIS IVE BEEN SHAKING FOR HOURS

[zhongluc]

i'm buying the cage tomorrow after i go to the spca, i am so excited, i feel like i'm 6 and tomorrow is christmas