i'm very gay, i'd like a few dollars

[zhongluc]

i miss her

[zhongluc]

four hours of sleep? isn't quite enough

[zhongluc]

im binge watching all of shane's creepy videos w drew and garret even though i KNOW it's gonna make me super paranoid, and my eyelids are so greasy it looks like i have that sweet glossy lids look going on but no

[zhongluc]

i should be finishing schoolwork but here's the thing i don't feel like it

[zhongluc]

me: i don't want to do schoolwork
me: immediately does the schoolwork, and goes above and beyond what i did for the first part so now i feel like a failure? and i gotta redo the whole first part even though this is due tomorrow

[zhongluc]

is this what it's gonna be like from now on? i can't handle beating myself up like this just because my standards for my own work are too high

[zhongluc]

im like excited to start at the high school but terrified because ..... i don't know how to go in the front doors? i don't know how to go to my classes? i've never been to high school and here i am jumping in at the start of what would've been my third year
i don't even really have friends? that's not exactly it because i have friends and i have friends that go to that school, i know most of the people that go there actually? but i don't have any close irl friends anymore, my closest friends live 2000+ kilometres away and i'm not looking forward to maybe not having anybody? seventh grade at that new school was easier because i stuck with bella all the time she was always there with me we were always together and i won't have that with her this year and i don't have that with her anymore
i'm gonna have to make new friends in person which i have not done since i moved here

[zhongluc]

im like three years old i can't handle all this stress

[zhongluc]

OHHHHH stomach pain that's fun it hurts so much why

[zhongluc]

what am i holding on to? i should be holding you