[Sculi the Ax]

So go ahead, poke me, stab me, do whatever the heck you want with me, after all, it's not like I'll care. Don't worry, I don't give a damn if you chop bits and pieces off of me, and I most certainly don't care if I don't know what's going on, especially if it concerns me. In fact, if it concerns me, don't even bother to explain!

Sorry... But for the past few weeks I've been nothing but the voodoo doll of social life. At lunch, I had to sit elsewhere [not too far away but still] and then an odd coincidence put me in the middle of some sort of girl drama crap. I missed enough socialness at lunch to figure out that relations there are better when I'm not. So don't make it obvious enough guys... My best friend has decided that I'm not worth anything, and she's withdrawn from the world a bit, but she interacts with everyone but me.
And I'm ALWAYS second best. ALWAYS. I mean, I can't be good at everything, but with a 7:31 minute mile, I'm the best runner out of all my friends. And it shows, I may not be as athletic as some of them, but I can run, and STILL I'm second best to someone who will not be named. I'm tired of it, I've lost interest in almost everything as a result. Sure, I find athletics fun, but when I clearly have more stamina and more speed, and some still hold my friend in higher regard.... it's a bit of a downer. In fact, sometimes I'm pretty much nonexistent. I know this happens to everyone, and some more than others, but really? I'm RIGHT HERE, yet you call out for someone who's not even in the near vicinity. Always them first, never me. always seeing strait through me. I might as well not exist. I don't have anything to offer the world, and it's not like I'll be missed. Right now no one sees me anyway.

I can wait. I can wait an eternity. So go ahead, poke, pin, prod, stab, pinch me, you can even gut me. It's not like it hurts, and it surely doesn't matter. I'm just here for to to chuck around when you're bored. It. Doesn't. Matter. It doesn't matter whether I know or not, whether I care or not, whether I;m there or not. Because I might as well not be anything at all.