watch others on Valentine's Day. Together. Having fun.
There's no point. I'm invisible to you.
I don't know why. I'll probably break my vow, my "promise" of not loving a boy again.
I do know why. See, my brain fights with itself, counterparts, the rest of my body...
All I know is that I can't stop having crushes again and again. Like you. You...you're personality, its fiery, and you're not afraid to say what you think, even to our "elders." Lol, your cute hairstyle, heart-stopping eyes. You make me smile, even though we actually don't have any type of relationship. I'm just a peer, or no peer at all. The only times we ever made contact...the rarest, was speech. Verbal use. That one time we had to do a little activity with a partner, and you came over and merely was one of the three people asking me to trade partners. Apparently, I got a friend of yours, yet you already had another friend be your partner, and my partner was asking to be your partner's partner. Confusing? I hope not. Keep up, please, my mood is fairly low. Anyway, you and your partner said no, while mine begged me to trade so he could be with a best friend. I looked at each of them, you the longest, by 2 seconds, as you all shot at me choices. I was afraid I couldn't rip away my eyes in time and then it would be up...then you'd know, along with everyone else, I either liked you, or I was just plain weird. I managed to look away and answer my decline, and although disappointed, another part of my brain, another part of my brain was cheering. One, I wouldn't have to probably(most likely) embarrass myself if I did work with you, and 2, I probably would hardly be able to speak. Besides, I only shook my head in reply, so I never did actually talk to you....
But you talked to me, it was exhilarating all the while. Even though you were just regularly offering, along with your partner, to say no to my partner's consistent begging.
And so, the only other frequent bits of contact is when we look at each other. Out of the blue, just glance over. We know where our lockers are, we know where we sit in each of the classes we might have together.
I reassure myself, tell me, I'll find that one someday...
And many others tell me, calm down. You'll get a boyfriend and get to do something on Valentine's Day. You will. That way, I won't have to live out my wonderful young years watching others dreamily on Valentine's Day in hopes of doing something.
So, I'll try that. I won't cry for that, I'll be more positive, and just have a fine day on that day.
Yet, even once a year, it stills stings me when we get into the February month.
But, alas, now, this month, and for the end of January, I have, and will ignore you. I won't look at you. Yet, I do steal a glance or two. Out of the corner of my eye, I see you looking my way more often, more curious as to why I avoid you. I hardly do acknowledge you anyway. Why, though, your looks seem to say. Oh, well, I shrug it off. He must be looking at someone around me. I ignore any other possibility.
Wait, though, look. You are dating one of the most popular girls in school, considering you yourself are pretty much at the top as well. So, it seems she loves you, and you laugh right then and there at her comedy act as I bottle my thoughts up and try to be happy for everyone.
Then comes the time I go on this website, or just sit in my bedroom, and draw on paper or on the computer. I have made this. Venting. Art. But then again, it is almost Valentine's day, isn't it? I decided to do something for the theme as well. And to tell you the truth, I was going to do one where my friend here lay on the floor in tears, but that's for my paper to take.
Anyway, although it says a waste of time, and never, will I love a boy again, I probably will. It's crush year people. XD And so I reassure myself once more. Who knows, maybe in that new school I'm going to soon I will find someone, or just even out of school. So, : ) just got to lift my head up. I'll have sad, emotional times, but its fine. I just...don't want to live through another Valentine's Day alone...even with my friends, I feel....
Alone.
There's no point. I'm invisible to you.
I don't know why. I'll probably break my vow, my "promise" of not loving a boy again.
I do know why. See, my brain fights with itself, counterparts, the rest of my body...
All I know is that I can't stop having crushes again and again. Like you. You...you're personality, its fiery, and you're not afraid to say what you think, even to our "elders." Lol, your cute hairstyle, heart-stopping eyes. You make me smile, even though we actually don't have any type of relationship. I'm just a peer, or no peer at all. The only times we ever made contact...the rarest, was speech. Verbal use. That one time we had to do a little activity with a partner, and you came over and merely was one of the three people asking me to trade partners. Apparently, I got a friend of yours, yet you already had another friend be your partner, and my partner was asking to be your partner's partner. Confusing? I hope not. Keep up, please, my mood is fairly low. Anyway, you and your partner said no, while mine begged me to trade so he could be with a best friend. I looked at each of them, you the longest, by 2 seconds, as you all shot at me choices. I was afraid I couldn't rip away my eyes in time and then it would be up...then you'd know, along with everyone else, I either liked you, or I was just plain weird. I managed to look away and answer my decline, and although disappointed, another part of my brain, another part of my brain was cheering. One, I wouldn't have to probably(most likely) embarrass myself if I did work with you, and 2, I probably would hardly be able to speak. Besides, I only shook my head in reply, so I never did actually talk to you....
But you talked to me, it was exhilarating all the while. Even though you were just regularly offering, along with your partner, to say no to my partner's consistent begging.
And so, the only other frequent bits of contact is when we look at each other. Out of the blue, just glance over. We know where our lockers are, we know where we sit in each of the classes we might have together.
I reassure myself, tell me, I'll find that one someday...
And many others tell me, calm down. You'll get a boyfriend and get to do something on Valentine's Day. You will. That way, I won't have to live out my wonderful young years watching others dreamily on Valentine's Day in hopes of doing something.
So, I'll try that. I won't cry for that, I'll be more positive, and just have a fine day on that day.
Yet, even once a year, it stills stings me when we get into the February month.
But, alas, now, this month, and for the end of January, I have, and will ignore you. I won't look at you. Yet, I do steal a glance or two. Out of the corner of my eye, I see you looking my way more often, more curious as to why I avoid you. I hardly do acknowledge you anyway. Why, though, your looks seem to say. Oh, well, I shrug it off. He must be looking at someone around me. I ignore any other possibility.
Wait, though, look. You are dating one of the most popular girls in school, considering you yourself are pretty much at the top as well. So, it seems she loves you, and you laugh right then and there at her comedy act as I bottle my thoughts up and try to be happy for everyone.
Then comes the time I go on this website, or just sit in my bedroom, and draw on paper or on the computer. I have made this. Venting. Art. But then again, it is almost Valentine's day, isn't it? I decided to do something for the theme as well. And to tell you the truth, I was going to do one where my friend here lay on the floor in tears, but that's for my paper to take.
Anyway, although it says a waste of time, and never, will I love a boy again, I probably will. It's crush year people. XD And so I reassure myself once more. Who knows, maybe in that new school I'm going to soon I will find someone, or just even out of school. So, : ) just got to lift my head up. I'll have sad, emotional times, but its fine. I just...don't want to live through another Valentine's Day alone...even with my friends, I feel....
Alone.
