[coelagirl]

Hey everyone!! It's ace awareness week, so i figure I can be a little sappy and probably overshare. Feel free to skip this one lol

Asexuality- A sexuality defined by a lack of attraction to anyone, or feeling such an attraction only extremely rarely or under very specific circumstances.
(it is considerably more complex than that, but that's what brings us together)

I just wanted to talk a little bit about my own journey with asexuality, since I know the average age of CS users is probably younger than me and maybe I can offer some words of wisdom.
Right when I was starting to ID as Ace, I got the character I drew here, Oswald. I decided to make him AroAce, and completely shut out the idea of breeding him with another plumerian, looking only for a group of friends. I didn't actually get.... a lot of people wanting their plumies to be friends with him (I assume most people want the possibility of kits for trading or collecting proposes lol). But just imagining him to have a life surrounded by close friends really helped me idealize a life without romance, a life where maybe I wouldn't find a partner but it would be okay. It sounds kooky, but Oswald really did help me. Characters are a great way to explore parts of yourself. Don't feel bad about it, they can really help! (unfortunately now all of my main characters are ace or aspec women so. write what ya know i guess)
Now, 5 years on from adopting Oswald and about 6 from coming out to myself, it's just.... a part of me. A crucial one, but just a small part. I'm out to most of my IRL friends and I have an ace sticker on my laptop so I'm out like.... publicly, but I still haven't sat my parents down and explained what I am- not that they would kick me out or anything, but I'm afraid that if I contradict myself when I'm explaining or say something ""wrong"" they'll dismiss me. They're stubborn people; if they get the wrong idea, I don't think I can change their minds easily. Having them dismiss (or worse, make belittle) me for something that is small to them, but huge to me, would be crushing. In many ways, I feel like my sexuality is none of thier business. If I don't think they can handle it, then they don't deserve to know about that part of my life. Maybe I'll tell em one day- but I'll I probably do it in an email where I can get all my words perfect and correct.
What I'm saying is; being out is great. People not thinking you're straight is amazing. And I'm lucky to be surrounded by people who accept me. But you don't have to be out. It's a constant process and sometimes, it's exhausting. At worst (and far too often), it can be actively dangerous. Your health and safety is more important than coming out. And if you're ever thinking about coming out and you're in a similar situation to me, remember; your sexuality is incredibly special and unique to you and you should get to decide who to share it with.

So yeah! Kind of long winded, rambly, and emotional but I hope you got something out of it lol. feel free to ask anything if you're not familiar with asexuality, or if you're ace and just wanna chat!