[steriotypicalOutlaw]

This is where I will post my vent art and the rants/vents that come with them.
May possibly be triggering.
You have been warned.

[steriotypicalOutlaw]

Link

I can't sleep.
My brain is so loud.
I know that I shouldn't listen to the things that it says, but it's just so HARD.
I'm supposed to be doing better.
I'm supposed to be happy!
I know that I have so many people who love me unconditionally and who are there for me in any way they can be, but I still feel so alone.
So helpless and broken.
The only things that help quiet my mind are music and art, but lately it seems like that's not good enough.
My brain is still too loud.
There are too many thoughts, too many bad memories all jumbled up inside my head and they just won't shut up.
They won't go away.
No matter how many times I talk with people about them, they are always there.
I'm afraid that they will eat away at me until there's nothing left but an empty shell, a husk of what I once was.
I don't want to talk about it any more, because I'm afraid they'll get tired of me.
They've heard it all before, they know all my thoughts.
I'm afraid that they will think I'm suicidal again, but I'm not.
I'm just sick of having these thoughts, sick of having to bottle them all up inside until they overflow in an explosive mess.
I'm tired of snapping at people because I'm struggling to keep my composure as it is with this screaming in my head.
I'm such a bad friend and boyfriend.
Such a bad brother and son.
I'm so f**king awful, and I don't even remember when I became this way.
I hate it.
I hate myself.