[Raptorfang]

It's not bad
It's not like somebody died
In five years, it'll be out of your mind
| The Trash The Trash The Trash - Jeff Rosenstock |

WOW so this song means a whole lot to me on a very personal level and I suggest you go listen to it immediately because even if the lyrics mean nothing to you it's still a really good song.The first time I heard it (which was a week or two ago) it hit me like a bus because I never even entertained the thought of finding something that I could relate to in the way I can relate to this song. Anyway rant/ramble time.
So without getting into details, bugs (specifically roaches) freak me out real bad because of some reasons I don't want to try and explain and so as you can probably imagine I don't much enjoy looking at images of them. A lot of people on this site seem to love bugs and the act of theming their profile around them, which I think is cool and I'm glad y'all are so passionate about bugs, but I'd be lying if I said it didn't make me uncomfortable. It's alright though I'm not attacking anyone or saying having a bug-themed profile is bad because it's not. I actually have a great deal of respect for those who can actually like bugs. But anyway so yeah uh seeing bugs outside in the wild is fine but seeing them in my house makes me upset and very very scared and reminds me of a couple of events that really kinda messed me up when I was younger. No I'm not getting into details but just know that what happened wasn't at all horrible or terrible or anything like that but it still managed to cause some long-lasting damage that I still feel to this day. The second of those two events occurred in December 2015, so nearly 5 years ago. Back when it first happened, I didn't imagine I'd still be struggling with its effects 5 years later, like the lyric I included above says, but it is, in fact, very much so NOT "out of [my] mind." I'm still working on getting over it and healing from it, slowly but surely.
And I say all this as a lead-in to saying what I really wanna say. I've always struggled with feeling like those experiences I had weren't "bad enough" to really be bad. Like they weren't "bad enough" to justify how badly I was damaged by them, and that I was just overreacting. As the song says, "it's not bad / it's not like somebody died." It's not like something horrific happened to me. I didn't go through war or witness a death or anything like that. But what happened still really affected me, and what I think I'm finally starting to realize is that my feelings and emotions as a result of that are still valid regardless of how illogical they may be. So for anyone else out there who may have also gone through something that left a big negative mark on them despite it not being something typically seen as "bad enough" to do such a thing, I want you to know that your fears and feelings are so very valid and that you absolutely should seek help if you feel you need it because I promise you you aren't just overreacting. Hang in there guys. :')
(and yes drawing this was kind of stress-inducing and so is looking at it whoops)

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The art texture looks like traditional art, i like it

[Raptorfang]

The art texture looks like traditional art, i like it

Thank you!