you almost feel like you dont deserve to leave this place, after all you've done. some "friend" you are, scaring them because you were mad and confused and wanted someone to blame for what happened to you. you would even say you kind of really deserve this, betraying their trust like that. they were so sorry, just kept saying it over and over, and you were still so determined in your fit of rage to scare them like this situation has continued to scare you. it was supposed to make you feel better, but honestly, it really didnt. you could give any number of excuses for why you did it, but really there isnt any, and you arent proud of yourself or happy or relieved or less terrified even after all you've done to your friends and their hard work.
you definitely feel like you dont deserve to leave this place, and somewhere, some part of you is pretty sure you wont.




