[Ruki Ki]

Warning: Vent Art

I've been going through some... emotional issues, to say the least. It's horrible because I bottle my feelings so much that they explode like a shaken Coke can. A lot of things have to do with guys, getting older, and that kind of girl stuff. Like, one of the main things is my love issues; it started after I saw the guy that I really really like (and have liked for more than ten years) with some girl. I don't even know if they have that kind of relationship, but just the thought of it and seeing them together almost made me break down in church yesterday (in fact, I did a little bit). And then, it spiraled from that to my brother and his girlfriend. Seeing them made me think of how he started dating her when he was my age and now they're considering marriage, but I haven't ever had a guy come close to even telling me that he finds me attractive or would like to get to know me. Then from there, those terrible little voices in my head began to laugh and tell me how I'll probably never find that "Mr. Right", no matter how long I wait.

In short, I feel awful and worthless.


Sidenote: I didn't realize my screen was dimmed when I was drawing, so I'll fix those little mistakes in the morning.

Please don't comment- "Attention hog", or "Oh how sad". I'm only drew it to help myself in recovery. I don't want to hear fake sympathy or how you think I'm doing it for attention or something. I'm not.

[Harpalyce]

I've been there and done that. My sister's wedding was a little hard in that respect.

This, too, shall pass.

Your art, even if it is vent art, is beautiful as always.

[Spockylass]

Don't worry Ruki, about every single decent girl goes through this. Just remember that God knows where He's taking you, and His love is what really counts. If you're following that road, the perfect man can't be far away. <3

I will keep you in my prayers!

[Ruki Ki]

Thank you Harpy and Spocky, it means a lot. I know I'm not the only girl out there who thikns that, but sometimes it feels like it.

I'm doing better than before, but still feeling a bit tender or sensitive. I spent a good hour or so muffled in my pillow and in a deep thought. Luckily school has enough chaos and drama to keep my mind off everything. Hopefully it will pass in time...

Thanks again ^^

[nmrn]

I'm a girl, yeah, but I'm not all that bothered about a boyfriend or anything, but I have been sort-of along the same lines as you.
It's just 1 guy, you'll get over it, don't worry. <3 But like Spock said, "The perfect man can't be far away.". c: You'll get through it, don't worry. <3
I guess I can admit that I feel worthless 24/7, but like stated earlier by me in a sentence somewhere above this, (look up.) you'll either get through, or find someone at some point.
I mean, it's just one guy, there's plenty of others around. There's always someone waiting for you 'round the corner in life. <3

And I love the art, beautifully done. <3

[calicotabbycat]

Don't worry, I feel the same way. The marriage part excludes me, I'm too young for that x3 But my mom and all my friends are always subtly hinting that I need to get a boyfriend. At my age I should be totally boy crazy, but I'm just friends with dudes. That's all I want. Besides, they're all HUGE perverts, and I'm not putting myself in danger like that. Nothing would happen, I'm not pretty and I'm big in the tummy area and small in the chest area (if you know what I mean), but I still don't wanna take a chance. Most of them drink too, and I know at least 5 or 10 of them do drugs. There's one really nice guy who's all dumb and goofy (in a cute way, not in a stupid way x3) but he's moving to the other side of the country in a month and one of my friends likes him a lot. She almost cries just thinking about him moving. She's liked him for a year and everybody knows but him. So yeah, I feel like crap too. All the other girls are the opposite of me (6 sentences up) and look like models. The only good thing I have is long legs. They're all taller than me but my legs are longer than theirs. It's not that great though, I'm still really slow at running :T

Good luck Ruki. (Too bad your name isn't Charlie xD)

(So pretty! I love how this has emotion. Lots of drawings are very nicely done, but they have no emotion. Well, you can't get a man, but at least you can find one for Ruki xD)

[Ruki Ki]

Lecherous Evil: Thank you. It's a lot easier to say "I'll get over him" than it actually is to follow through. It's kinda hard to explain my emotions for him. I've known him and his brother since we first moved to our town, like eleven or twelve years ago, and ever since I've known him I've had an unexplainable love for him. Like, imagine a little five year old falling in love with a seven, almost eight, year old and the two growing up together for twelve years. It's a kind of love that isn't just "I'll get over him", I feel like he's supposed to be my husband.

.BlackCat.: Ha, my mom doesn't want me to date until I'm 25, but I want to get married young, perhaps around 21. I know what you mean. I would never think of dating any guys in my school, they're all way too immature (this coming from the person who refuses to grow up). You sound beautiful to me ^^ both heart and appearance, and if no one likes who you are, then your too good for them. Thank you Blackcat.


Side note: Thank you guys who helped encourage me. I'm still feeling a bit yucky inside but, for the most part, I'm feeling much better.

[SplashofOrangeJuice]

Aww, I'm sorry Ruki. I'm so there right now too...
I like my ex again, even though I broke up with him in August. He was my 1st boyfriend too. And I just want to fix it, but I have no clue where to start. I can't even talk to him without making it aukward. So, I'm just giving up. There's nothing I can really do about it, and rumor has it he likes another girl. I've just been so depressed lately, and the worst part is trying to hide it. It's so hard just bottling everything inside, but I've done it for so long now- I can't cry. I want to so badly, but everytime I start to, something stops me everytime. And now I have this cloud over me, and eveyone who cares about me can see I'm not doing well, so maybe it's slowly leaking out. I just wish I could cry... it's all I need right now. Last time I cried, it had been so long since my last cry, it felt soo good to just let it out. So maybe thats all you need, to just let it out and cry. Stop holding it in, and just break down in your room on your pillow. (:

Sorry if I spoke too much... ._.'

Anyway, this is a lovely drawing whether it be vent art or not. I love your style, and don't worry, you'll find someone someday. (: I know it.

[calicotabbycat]

Awwww! Thanks. I am too good for those losers! *gets big head*

[TinyGiant]

No one is worthless,I know the feeling,of when you think your just a sheet of paper slowly being ripped to shreds by others.I know i go this poem or little saying from the internet,i hope it cheers you up,or give you hope that someone is there,looking for you♥ 'girls are like apples,the rotten ones are at the bottle,and the just right ones are at the top.Guys go for the rotten ones because they are afraid of falling down form the tree and closer,But there is one guy,who will not be afraid to climb high enough and reach you.' (not word to word perfect,just what i remembered of it =/) Stay strong,There will be others out there who will make you feel like the only girl in the world<3 and this comes from a girl who's experience many emotional pain and heartbreaks.Fight on~

***Edit: Dont hold in your feelings so locked up.Tell someone you trust with your heart and SOUL someone you know who wont rat it out to ANYONE how you feel.holding in your feelings will cause you stress,even more depression,and its bad for the soul,Its ok that you cry,Everyone crys every once and a while. (i want to hug you so badly right now.i feel your pain T_T)


~skittles♥