UPDATE October 15 2011 Saturday:
Update: I've been informed she's passed away this morning, no details.
Update 2: I've arrived saturday night; and while this is sunday I'll be updating what I've learned. She passed away between 7-8 aclock.
Basically from what I understand on her last day, she couldn't really even talk. She had gotten to the point where she couldn't be vocal at all. The hospice and my oldest sister communicated with her blinking for the most part. She nodded once or twice I heard. She couldn't even keep her head up straight while laying down. Near the end of her ms apparently it gotten to the point where it was even sore to touch her; not alone moving her would put her in tears. Her nerves were that messed up that anything hurt. I think it was her lungs and throat that finally went in the end. Since MS effects the nerves and slowly stops your interal organs.
My sister spent her the night with her for the most part and took care of her. She had to be feed and given liquid in a dropper and even then it took a lot of effort for her to drink and eat. She spoke to her and even though my mom couldn't tell her something, she kept hyper ventilating. I'm sure we all knew what she was trying to say. It was her time. Before my sister left that morning she told it that whatever happens; everything will be okay. That she would be okay. Ten minutes later my mothers condition worsened and she passed on. They say she died of resporory. So her lungs gave out in the end. She also wished not to be brought back if she did pass. It might be for the best I didn't see her like this since I supported her for most of my child hood except for these past two years. I miss her terribly and theres nothing I can do but try to heal while I'm in my home state. I haven't gone to my parents house yet as I'm not strong enough to enter my childhood home without going into a break down yet. It was the house that I was raised in and the house she was ill in for so many years.
She's being cremated and I'll update with further information if need be.
I'm not sure there's a good place to post this in general. But apparently Hospice went to my folks home tonight and my mom has five days at the most they say. I'm still debating going to work but for most part I'm still partially shocked by the news. Though I'm hoping her stubbornness will pull her through, its already been a rough few years on her. We don't think she's going to pull out of this one.
A simple background but its around the effect I was going for. My mother is in a nursing home at the moment and its a long story, but her health is declining and while I wish it wasn't there isn't much I can do from 2 thousand miles away. Will update later if I feel the need to.
But aye, my mother has been ill since I was about ten. She gets better and worse over the years. She has M.S. and she's currently residing in a nursing home. I remember all the hours I've spent in the hosptial by her side so she didn't have to be alone. How I would come home every day after school worried sick that she would have passed before I got there. Now I'm so far away and theres nothing I can do. She was my main support in my art and I know I haven't moved on and gone to college like I would have hoped; working at a dead end job. She had so much hope for me. I just feel I've let her down by moving and still not progressing when she belives in me, and worst of all if she dies then I'm afraid I won't have that support and that scares me as well. I want the mother I use to have but I know I never will. Illness claimed her and I know its selfish but I don't want her to pass on. Just so many memories being in that hospital room, I'm sure its just as bleak for her currently.
I'm still not use to shading in Oekaki; but any pointers will help. Thanks.
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