[♥ mizu]

it happened guys. he confessed to me 😭😭😭

i just. idk. i told him we are good friends and that's ok but i don't know if he understood. but now it's awkward because a) what if he doesn't come to school tomorrow and b) he was SHAKING. i gave him my number and the poor boy was shaking and trembling with nerves. i feel bad. this poor boy. he adores me 😭😭💖💖💖💖 i don't want to be his roman empire istg (or maybe i do idk)

i was totally chill about it but the rest of the day i was kind of jittery. talked about it with my best friend and she helped me through it but i just don't want it getting around because a) i hate drama and b) i'm not putting this poor boy through that. he does not deserve to feel watched because i'm speaking from experience when i say the WHOLE girl group starts watching the boys under a microscope.

idk. i try to sit with him at lunch because i don't want him sitting alone but what do i do now. if i sit with him, it'll be weird and like i'm leading him on. if i don't, i could hurt him. i might have to hurt him though. that's the sad part. i can hurt people and i have in the past but it's different when you can't express your thoughts fully because of a language barrier. i don't want him simmering with his insecurities. i just want to tell him i want to continue being friends. 😭

i've gotten some comments on my other posts i haven't responded to yet and i just want to say that i will. im just anxious rn sorry guys

[coffee.berry]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
coming from a person who has no (good) experience with this i know that it's hard deciding
whether to sit with him or ignore him - i don't know this boy at all so i can't tell you exactly
what you should do but i feel like, even if he doesn't understand, you should bring it up
and tell him that you don't want to hurt him but that you're not in love with him, but you
love him as a friend?

omg this makes me so nervous because.. it's a human being😭 but if you trust yourself i'm
sure everything will go well<3
(also what you're so lucky??!!)

[♥ mizu]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
coming from a person who has no (good) experience with this i know that it's hard deciding
whether to sit with him or ignore him - i don't know this boy at all so i can't tell you exactly
what you should do but i feel like, even if he doesn't understand, you should bring it up
and tell him that you don't want to hurt him but that you're not in love with him, but you
love him as a friend?

omg this makes me so nervous because.. it's a human being😭 but if you trust yourself i'm
sure everything will go well<3
(also what you're so lucky??!!)

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
honestly i might do it. he wasn't at school today which is.. odd because he's been here all week so far. he has a medical thing so he RARELY comes but i think maybe he was coming to see me. and he still hasn't responded to my original text. honestly, i do trust myself and my decision - as much as it, objectively, sucks that it hurts him, i'm not really responsible for other people's feelings. yknow? and i feel like he might be in a worse place mentally than me. i was thinking about this earlier. it wouldn't be healthy for either of us. i'm definitely thinking too hard about this but the fact that he was shaking is what's stuck with me. ;0;

thank you for the advice vai!!