Username + User ID: bakuraas. + 876991
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Prompt Response:
- "Do you even care about anything anymore?" The question was surprisingly harsh coming from Bile, thought he hadn't intended for it to sound like that. Belenus just stared, twitched slightly. He looked at himself, or at least what he thought was himself - he wasn't exactly sure what he looked like anymore, if he was changing or not. Despite all that, he replied simply. "Elaborate, Bile. I sensed anger in that tone of yours, are you assuming that I have nothing to care for, no ideals to strive for?" Bile couldn't help but shiver in the way he could, coughing slightly in the chicoon's head. "Well, no I didn't mean it like that I just mean, You don't really value things too much, you have a moral code, and you care about people sometimes, but I've never actually heard any ideals, or... I think I haven't. Nothing you do or say really gives off that sort of energy, it all just seems... well." "Instinct." Belenus provided, and watching how Bile's eyes moved shamefully away as to not look at him, he knew he was right. "I know you had ideals before... all this, before me, I've seen your journals just as you have, and... you seemed like you had something to strive for, some sort of ideal world you wanted to come to fruition... now you just sort of adventure and go where the wind takes you. What happened to those ideals, those plans, Belenus?" The pause that echoed between chicoon and parasite was almost deafening, Words that both of them knew the other wanted to say but refrained from doing so. They shared a mind after all, they could have a full argument if they had wanted, but both of them saw their accusatory words fade from their thoughts as realization hit them in equal amount, to different conclusions.
"Freedom, that... that's always been what it comes down to, hasn't it?" Bile asked, watching as Belenus made a face different from his usual stoic one, a frown growing across his face and the small threat of tears making his eyes glitter. "Why wouldn't it be? I've already spent so much of my life in a world where I didn't have a choice after making one when I was too young to realize the implications. If I had been given more time, maybe I would have been able to be put in a less stressful position, have a bit more freedom than a doctor does. I loved the work but... If I had known how much it would run my life... I don't know what I would have done otherwise, Bile. It's why I'm wandering, why I'm looking for more parasites like you. The longer I stay with you, the more parasites I bring into my life, the more I'll be able to feel freed from those I used to care for, and the poor actions of my uneducated young mind." Bile paused, watched as Belenus cried a significant amount, and sighed a little. "I'm... I'm sorry, it's just that... in your diary, your younger self had talked so much about freedom for everyone, about those stuck in situations like yours being able to live their lives and survive through their passions and what they love to do instead of what they have to do because they enjoy it! I just thought... perhaps you would have stayed like that. I know you don't want to isolate entirely, you can't! You think you can hide your pain with parasites, not talk to anyone except other parasite-infested chicoons, but wouldn't you like to have a drive towards something, to help those who were once like you?"
Belenus felt more tears run down his face, growling a little and looking away, trying to bring the tears back to where they belonged and to stop this... overly emotional nonsense. But he couldn't because he knew Bile was right. "I'm not... I can't do it. I'm not strong enough to bring people out of that situation... I can help where I can but if they're stuck like me, nobody could have helped me so-" Bile interrupted with a small laugh, not to insult, but to encourage. "Well, nobody who tried to help you had a parasite, did they?" That... was true. With that realization, Belenus perked up, and quickly ran to pull out some papers, pens, pencils, the whole nine yards of writing, slamming all the materials down at his desk, flicking on the light. Bile would have asked what they were doing, but again, he could already see Belenus' mind floating around with ideas. Something about that, the mention of the parasites and the increased knowledge of how much had improved because of Bile. Just because he was charismatic doesn't mean that he couldn't help others, and just because he wasn't the most social or the biggest angel around morally didn't mean that he couldn't dream of a better world and build ideals around them, returning ideals from his younger years mixed with the new ideals realized through Bile and his words.
1.) Careers and Life should be driven by passion and care, not by money, talent, or innate ability alone.
2.) Life is full of change, others should be allowed to change without issue, including in career or passion.
3.) Freedom is a baseline, societies and colonies are but cooperative collections of free individuals.
4.) A life's track should not be disrupted unless it brings harm to that life and passion or another's life or passion.
5.) Heroes exist, but they are the ones who find passion in protecting the lives and passions or others.
"So, you're admitting you're a hero now, are you?" Bile asked, humored. Belenus made a noise that sounded somewhat like a scoff mixed with a laugh, but he didn't say anything in response. Belenus was, of course, still Belenus, stubborn and too introspective to believe in the concepts of good, evil, heroes, or villains, but there was also still a kid in there somewhere, one that became an adult far too soon. And it seemed that kid really enjoyed thinking about heroes.
Word Count: 1,018 words
Crow| She/They | Ace Lesbian
