There, I did it.
I paused, turning back around to face the building once last time. There it loomed, the dark grey figure casting a heavy shadow over me. Never again.
Whipping back around, I ran off briskly, my breath appearing in little bursts of fog in the cool air. It was approximately 6 in the morning-- not too early for running away. I know, I know. You're probably wondering what the heck it was that I did. What was so bad that caused me to turn tail and flee the moment I got. Well, honestly, I had many chances before, but I just couldn't take it anymore.
It's because of her.
I thought she was a good friend at first. She was kind, sweet, gentle; every characteristic you'd want in a good pal, someone to rely on when you needed a friend, but someone interesting enough to spend time with for awhile without getting bored. She was just that. We weren't close for awhile, at least for the greater portion of us knowing each other. It took me awhile to warm up to her,
but once that happened, we became great pals quickly. We did everything the best of friends would do-- go out and have fun,
talk about silly, stupid things, spend the nights together, etc. It wasn't until a few weeks ago, however, that I realized just what she truly was.
It's not her fault. Not completely.
Somewhere in her mind, she knew that everyone would leave eventually. Be it naturally, like through death, or just the natural course of things. As much as we all want to deny it, friends don't actually last forever. Sometimes we just float in our own directions, as that's the way life works. We all change and become different people, and sure, while some might be friends or decent acquaintances until death, or near-death, there's no true "friends forever"-- but I don't think she was quite ready to accept that.
After we were quite close for many months, her more possessive side came out. She began being jealous and worried of the other friends I had, claiming that I'd leave her for them someday. While it might have been true at some point, I wasn't going to intentionally ditch her just for someone else. I wasn't that kind of person.
Long story short, however, that's how I ended up nearly imprisoned in her house. She couldn't handle it, I suppose. Locking me up,
she felt safer that way, but I think her and I both knew that her paranoia wasn't going to go away just because I was trapped in her property. For days, she cried to me-- actually cried-- that everyone had left her before. Never had she had a friend that lasted more than a month even, and she was too scared to lose me, to the world or to someone else. I was able to manage it for awhile, trying my best to coax her into letting me out sometimes, to show her that I'd come back, but it was useless. I fed her lie after lie, to try and get her to let me go, but that was my own fault. Maybe being honest would have done better. Maybe I should have stayed silent. I couldn't take it anymore, I just wanted to leave. I probably could have tried harder, to sit down and talk to her, but I gave up.
Sure, consider me rude, mean, selfish. Horrible, for leaving someone who needed me so much, and I was the only one she had.
I know it's wrong of me, but I don't really care. I was done. I didn't want any part of it, nor was it worth it to me. Friends don't last forever, I know that.
And neither do we.