[jaques]

Name:
Meaning:
Gender:
Story

Res with she's blind and was not aloud to have a child due to a prophecy stating a fierce war would begin when a bond fae bore a halfblood pup (half Dawn, half something). When she had the pup they sent her away to drown the pup in the sacrificial river nearby but instead she sent the pup over to her father in (insert other group here).

When she arrived back saying she drowned the pup they believed her until the beginning of the war broke out and they knew the pup was alive.

...wip still

[whisky]

In my form, the pup is to be called a "they/them" out of respect for genders. When he finally chooses to identify himself though he is referred to as he! Please don't get confused by this! QwQ <3

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xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxJust the basics
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxName Serene.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxMeaning Untroubled; tranquil.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxIdentity Female.
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How About A Glimpse Into The Past ?

❝ ...I'm not sure if this is reality or a hallucination.
I walk among this shattered fun house trying, trying, trying... trying to find a reality. Trying to get my foot in the door of this glorious thing called 'Life.' This is life, isn't it?.. I suppose i'll never know. I'll drift, drift drift.. Evermore I will drift through my eternal hell projecting an image of this.. 'Life.'
My love, what is life? Will you tell me stories of your reality?
I'll tell you stories of my projection in exchange.
Drift, drift, drifting..
Try, try, trying..
Slowly dying..
Or gone? ❞

What she doesn't remember..
Her moon-kissed pelt was barely visible in the dark, though I could sense her in front of me. Her lips curled into a snarl, her eyes were cold and frightened as I took another step forwards her, another step over the border..
"Don't be afraid, I'm here to help you. Please, let me help you! My clan is already on their way back and although they didn't cross the borders to harm you, your clan surely has intentions of it. Your mate is already gone. They executed him. Think of your pup! You're going to get them killed." She relieved from her protective stance over her single pup as a tear slipped down her cheek. She nodded and looked around, "Where will we go? If I am to be executed as well then they'd catch me if I ran."

And that's where it all began. We talked out our plan, and just prayed it'd work.
The female took her position of hunkering down on the ground over a medium-sized rock, covering over it completely as if it were a pup she were protecting.. and so I ran. She knew they'd find her and execute her anyway, so she was the only chance of this pup surviving. Execution was unheard of in our clan, and i'm unaware how long it's been occurring or if the alpha even knows, but the diversion I hoped would ward them off for awhile, so we had a little bit of time. My light pelt shone through the darkness as if I were the sun and I was challenging the dark, moon-kissed land I now ran upon. I was unfamiliar with the territory, but still I split through the air as quickly as my feet would allow. The plan was to run. Nothing more. I just wanted to give this pup life, so life he'll have. A life of chaos, sure, but murder wasen't acceptable. I came upon a creek after awhile and stopped to quench my thirst. My paws were sore and I was tired, and hungry. I lay on my side, my chest heaving for air. For a moment I wondered why I was doing this, why I would chance being executed over a pair of Xholi idiots who knew better than to cross clans. Why I would risk my life for a pup i've never met until just a short while ago.. I looked over, and I saw it. I saw the beauty, the swirling storm of beauty in this pup's eyes. They were so beautiful.. Unlike any other Xholi I've ever seen. I sat up and grabbed the pup by it's scruff, and trotted quickly. I need to get out of Dusk clan territory, at least. I panted, my lungs still heaving. I smiled, bounding now, with the border ending just up head, I was given the strength to push on. I might make it.. I might just make it afterall.

I never felt so exhilarated as I did when I crossed that border. Crossing gave me hope and the will to go on. The will to keep this pup alive. And so I continued to tramp upon what I hoped to be a perpetual journey. I had grown accustomed to calling the dear child my own, and decided to let him pick out his own name rather than pick it for him. A week or so had passed, and the pup was getting a little harder to carry. I urged him to walk when he could, preferably until his paws were sore. We survived off of the very little pray I managed to find without risking the pup leaving my side or him wandering off. Mice and other large rodents, bird eggs and frogs became our main staple foods. As you could imagine, we were hungry quiet often. Still, we pressed on. I couldn't possibly trust them to stay in one spot. We would bed underneath any large tree or rocks we could squeeze under, and abandoned dens. There were times when I would mend us our own den, but we could never stay in one place too long, so we just stayed at the first place that we came across. Most of the dens we came across were empty, or the occupants left willingly. Life was good. I was happy; complete. This pup filled me with unexplainable joy and hope. Things could have went on like that forever.. except they didn't. The day we stumbled upon a wolf pack would be the biggest turning point in our life. And there was nothing I could do to prevent it. Nothing I could do to protect my pup from the upcoming chaos.. Nothing I could do to save his life.

The howling and yipping grew immense behind us and the rain gave no mercy as it pelted down and struck me, each time with a loud thump. I was easy to follow- they didn't need my scent to follow me. As bright as my fur was, I stuck out like a sore thumb and they took advantage of this by never letting me out of their sight. The pup wasn't yet light enough on their feet for me to put down, and they were slowing me down considerably. With the pack quickly advancing, a took a sharp turn towards the river and decided to run along side it hoping for an escape route and hoping to distract the wolves' unwavering pursuit somehow. But where would I go? I have nowhere. I can't cross the river. They'd catch me before I had a chance to even get across. The rain had almost fully stopped now and I tried to make my way back to the trees, the muddy bank slippery and proving to be difficult to run opon. I knew what I was going was going against our customs, however, I couldn't just let this pup die. They're my whole life now, and I would die to protect them. I suppose that statement was being pushed to the test.. The pup whimpered but there was nothing I could say to console them, and there was nowhere that I could run to get away from these wolves. They have far more stamina than I, and their strategy of tiring me out worked fairly quickly. Upon running into a clearing, I spun to face my opponents, eyes determined, and heels dug into the dirt. I dropped the pup and took a defensive pose over him as the two wolves advanced.

"What have we here? A Xholi and her pup? How touching." the young wolf's lips curled into a smile and took another step forward before I lashed out at him, my teeth bared in warning. I lowered my voice considerably, growling a menacing "Don't take another step forward." I hoped my tactic would ward them off as I had no real experience in fighting, and for a dramatic effect I sent a crack in the earth towards the wolves. They jumped away in momentary fear, then feast upon me with raging eyes. Of course my powers aren't strong enough to actually cause anything more than cracks in the earth, and subtle holes big enough for a den, but they didn't know that. And I had only fueled their fire. "Enough games! You can help us and live or decline and both you and your pup will suffer a miserable death." I looked at the wolves who were now growing impatient and pacing around us. They could tell I had slight interest in this offer, although I maintained my position of defense. The bigger wolf straightened up tall, chest puffed out and began to almost strut now. "Now that I've caught your attention, loner packs have been forming, and they're getting stronger. They're miniscule and scarce, but they are to be eradicated. We need you, a Xholi yourself to go in and join each of these packs, find where they keep their food and find out just how strong they really are so we can come in and raid them. Usually loners don't last long- it can be hard to catch prey when you're solo. They know this, and have formed groups almost like a pack. Once all groups are gone, you and your pup can leave. We will be taking their prey as our own, and anything of value they have we are to take to use in trade with the Dawn and Dusk clan for other more valuable, important items. Your pup will stay with us during your.. "spies" if you will, and will be fed and kept safe. If you do not return or fail to give us the information we need, you and your pup will be no more." I have no idea what these wolves have up their sleeves or what they're wanting with valuable items, but I wanted no part of it. They're asking me to partake in murder! I lowered my gaze to my pup.. my beautiful pup. I made a bargain- one I would surely regret, but there are no other options. "If I do this for you, after i'm finished with all of the loner groups, you will let me and my pup go?" The two nodded, and I looked down at the young Xholi once more.. Were they worth partaking in murder? I would do anything to protect them, but this? The bigger wolf snapped at me, telling me to make a decision and quickly, so I took a chance.. "Yes."

-- A few raids later.. --

I paced the outside of the den, separation anxiety taking over me. You would think I'd be used to being separated from Khan, but i'm not. I can't eat properly, and I can't sleep. I finally lay down on the grassy hill and looked out into the night, whimpering quietly before I heard someone walking towards me. I spun around quickly and peered into the night, but unable to see much. I'm a dawn hunter, my eyes aren't properly adjusted to the darkness like need be. "Hello?.. Is anyone there?" An adolescent female walked towards me hesitantly. I had come to known her as Mink, and she looked as if she belonged with Dawn clan too. Her coat a series of beautiful pinks and light greys. "I-I'm sorry.. Am I bothering you?.." I smiled and assured her she was fine, and when she felt comfortable she lay down next to me. "I noticed you weren't in the den and I got worried.. I thought you left like a lot of other loners usually do." My heart shattered as she spoke. She had no idea that tomorrow I would be the cause of her whole group dying. I had spent quiet awhile here, and have grown quiet attached to the young adolescent. She had become my temporary relief from being away from Khan. The pup was rapidly growing into a young adolescent himself. Last time she I smiled widely for the first time sense being gone. I can recall before I left just how happy he was to have chosen out a name. Such a handsome name for a handsome boy.. tears roll down my cheeks as I take another look at the female beside me. She looks so serene and tranquil, and alive.. because of me, she won't be. I am deceiving her and her entire group into thinking i'm just another loner. Truth is, I might be. But I have a pup to return to and then together we'll return to Dawn Clan and be the family I always hoped we would be. He would be safe, and I could properly care for him like any other mother Xholi would. This was, afterall, my last raid. I had no room for guilt with the thought of Khan being happy, safe, and somewhere he truly belongs amongst other Xholis. I quickly told the female goodnight and went to the den and lay there, silently, until dawn.

I awoke to the sound of Xholis shuffling around me, howls of pain and a few paws stepping on me trying to get out of the den alerted me that the raid had began. I just lay there, silent. Mink shoved me out of the den, pushing me towards the tree lines. I dug my heels in the dirt and nudged her away. "You should go. If not, you'll be next to die. Don't worry, i'll be fine. I played a part in all of this." The young adolescent that once carried grace in her stride and hope in her eyes, stared at me in horror only for a brief moment before bolting away with her life depending on it; literally. She didn't get very far, though. Before they caught her. I should have felt bad, some sort of guilt, remorse, sickness, something. All I held was hope. Without thinking twice I ran. I ran all the way back to the wolves den; back to my baby Khan. He knew nothing more than that I had a few jobs I had to do that required me to be gone for awhile and that we both owed our lives to the wolves and my "jobs" were to get us out of debt, so to speak. He was a teen now. All slender-like, and still that pup with swirling storms of beauty in his eyes. He should have already learned how to hunt/be a gatherer like the wolves that reside her, but that was my fault. I didn't want him going anywhere unsupervised and didn't trust the wolves to watch him properly on a hunt while I was gone. It's okay now, though.. No more worries. We can go back to the clan and start over. He can be a normal adolescent for once.

Upon reaching the den site I was heaving for air but still persistent in my search for Khan. I found him napping, as usual, on top of a small hill near the den. The wolves allowed him to stray a few yards knowing he wouldn't leave without me. I nuzzled him, smiling larger than ever before. Even though the temperatures were colder here since the den was in the mountains, Khan was warm from the sun's rays. It wasen't uncommon to see rivers iced over or snow around here, and once nightfall hit, you best be out of the cold and huddled up to someone. A very smiley, groggy Khan looked up to meet my gaze as I lay down beside him. "Mmom?.. Please don't go out on anymore jobs. I want you to stay." I nudged him up on his feet and motioned towards the sky line. He looked at the horizon quizzically and looked at me for answers. "We're going to join my old clan, Khan. You'll love it there. I just know you will!" Khan's jaw dropped ever so slightly, unsure of what to say. "You really mean that, ma? Do they have jobs there too? I don't like you being gone for so long. Can't we just stay on our own?" I scoffed at the very idea of being alone again and shook my head with a firm 'no.' "You'll love it, I promise. No, they don't have jobs like these there. C'mon. Let's go." Khan's ears pinned back and he shook his head ever so slightly. "I'm staying here.. I love it here." I whipped around quickly and stared at him firmly, "You're going, and that's final. I didn't do everything I've done for you to stay here, Khan!" His gaze lowered and he mumbled something I couldn't hear, but I didn't care. All I cared about was leaving, and finally getting him safe. He could be mad at me all day long for all I care, just as long as he's safe, everything will be alright. I didn't have intentions of going back, but rather tramping upon a perpetual journey; in the long run it was safer for Khan to be with a clan, though. We began going towards the horizon when the pack leader stopped us, informing us that we couldn't leave.
"What do you mean we can't leave?" I scoffed. " I did my time here! You're all sitting on top of more prey and treasures than you know what to do with. You don't need me. You're all King's and Queen's here now. We made a bargain, and I've finished my end. It's time for us to go." The pack leader smiled motioning towards the den, "Put her and the.. pup on lockdown. I don't want them leaving here."

Despite my efforts, there were more of them than me, and i'm sure you could probably imagine the result. Khan went willingly, however. I nudged him awake during the middle of the night, urging him to be quiet and very still. "Khan," I whispered, "These walls are thin. I was able to dig through them. I have just one very thin layer I have to push for it to be a hole, though. There's two guards. One in the front of the den, and one in the back. The one in the front has only been looking back here when he's ready to go wander off for awhile and only because he thinks we're asleep. Pay attention, next time he leaves, that's my queue to go ahead and knock down the rest of the hole. When he finally gets settled back into the front of the den, that's when we'll leave." He nodded and soon enough, our plan was put into action. It wasen't long before we were on our way to Dawn Clan's territory, other than one unplanned fact. It was cold. Temperatures were below freezing being this close to the mountains, and as much as we both wanted to stop, we had to keep pressing on. Dawn wasen't too far away, and we needed to get as far from the wolf pack as we could before they find us gone. We came upon a river with no way around it, we had to cross. "I'll go first, in case it breaks. I'm heavier than you are." Ever so carefully, I inched my way on the ice, crawling strategically to the other side. "It should be safe, come on." Khan's gaze darted between me and the ice, and a weak smile crept upon his face. "I trust you, mother." Very, very carefully, mimicking my every move, he crawled along the ice, when it cracked in the middle. He looked up at me, panicked and unmoving. "Khan! I need you to listen to me, move very, very slowly and get off that spot. Don't panic. You're going to be alright." He did everything opposite of what I said and attempted to stand on the ice, causing the crack to deepen water seep slightly through. All I took was for one toe, one toe of his to touch the water.. and his instinct to 'jump' kicked in. He leapt to a different part of the ice, his paws cracking it more now than ever. By the time his back feet landed, the ice collapsed beneath him. His abdomen and below soaked with freezing water in what felt like the middle of winter. He clawed his way out and lay on a small patch of grass, his lungs heaving from panic and body shivering from the cold. Quickly, I created a den with a simple shift of the earth beneath me and drug him inside. I curled around him to the best of my ability to warm him, but it seemed like nothing worked. I even tried sealing off the den with more earth with just a little air pocket in an attempt to block out the cold. He whimpered all night, shivering. "I-I-i'm s-s-sorry m-mommm, I lo-o-ve yo-o-u." I assured him everything was going to be alright and he drifted off to sleep, still shivering. His breathing slowed as did his shivering, which I thought was a sign of being asleep and getting warm, although I'd soon wake up to Khan being colder than I've ever felt him before.

I whined and I couldn't stop the tears from coming down my face. I pleaded for Khan to come back, but he never did. He lay in front of me cold, motionless. Dead. I lay curled around him for the longest before realizing he really wasen't coming back. That he wasen't playing, he was gone. My beautiful pup with the swirling storms of beauty in his eyes were now gone. I would no longer see him again, and for what? My selfishness? I would like to think that I wasen't acting out of selfishness, but I can't really concentrate. My head is light and my lungs were drawing in quick, sharp, painful breaths that I had to learn to control very quickly. I have heard of these before- panic attacks. With nothing left I made my way to the Dawn clan, hoping they' accept me back in after mysteriously disappearing. I tried my hardest to get Khan out of my mind, but it seemed like no matter how hard I tried, all I could hear was him saying 'I don't want to go.' I caught sight of some Xholis up ahead, and hope almost sparked as I ran towards them. Calmly approaching them I bowed and asked to be taken to Dunia pack. The lead scout's intentions were very clear. I was not welcome here, and his movements were malicious and stiff.. and suddenly, my whole world changed.

What she does remember..
I looked around, waking to the a healer prodding my leg and I instantly yelped out in pain. She looked at me, her brows furrowed and apologized quickly. "I'm very sorry. How are you feeling?" I shook my head lightly and took in the extent of the unfamiliar surroundings. "Where am I?... Why can't I remember my name??" Panic overtook me and she was soon by my side calming me down. "You're suffering from a concussion & broken leg. It seems you're suffering from Retrograde amnesia. I'm very sorry. " Her gaze looked lost and sad as she now spoke. "You.. You were out hunting and got into an incident. You're name is Serene, and you've been here in the Dawn Clan- Dunia pack all your life.." I lowered my gaze and turned towards the light at the end of the tunnel, "Hey, deary. Do you see that male there, over there in the opening. That's my pup, Khan. She looked at me horrified, whispering slowly, "There's no one there."

Also, just some little notes for if I won her;;
Kinda looses her barings.
Is unsure what is reality and what isn't because she sees the pup in her dreams but is unsure if her dreams are actually dreams since she started sleepwalking/can't tell reality from dreams.
And I apologize if my story is hard to follow or anything! Khan is in fact dead, she is not seeing a ghost, only a hallucination.
The Alpha doesn't want anyone to know of what happened between her and the scouts so he tells everyone it was an accident from a hunt and they took her in and that she has indeed been there before. Although it's been awhile since they've seen her so they can't remember her real name, so they gave her the name of Serene, which is highly contradicting due to her current mental state.

[Loadingconstella]

Name:
Meaning:
Gender:
Story:

Marking~

[totems]

marking if I have the time

[AgentAlaska(Bagel)]

Name:
Meaning:
Gender: Female
Story:

Wipwipwip!

[PFDC]

Name: Ibune
Meaning: Javanese for mother
Gender: Born male
Story:

[modern]

Name:
Meaning:
Gender:
Story:
Res?

[angelshy]

Username:
Angelshy

Name:

Meaning:

Gender:
Female

Story:

^^ Dropping
A very lovely xholi however <3

[paper planets]

Mark

[endless shelter;;]

Res with the name Zila