Re: Parrapup # 100 - Closed

Postby Ember the Wolf » Sun Nov 02, 2014 11:54 am

SO! IDK when the stories need to be, but! i will paste mine here before that time XD

Lyulf Knocked shyly on the door. He pulled softly at the bowtie that Karim had insisted he wear. suddenly the door was pulled open and Lyulf gasped, In front of him stood Ari, She was wearing a beautiful yellow dress with golden accents.Lyulf stared at her with his mouth hanging open. Ari gave him a confused look. "Do i look bad?" she asked confused then patted her hair
"is my hair sticking up? Why are you staring at me?" she said. Lyulf shook his head and handed her the flower that was in his hand "You look amazing," he said softly causing her to blush brightly. Sniffing the flower she smiled and then stepped out onto the porch with him. closing the door she looked up at him excitedly. Taking her arm he led her to his car and opened the door for her, after she got in he closed it softly and then walked around and got in the drivers seat. Turning the car on he nervously began driving to the place he had chosen to take her. As they pulled up to the restaurant he smiled as she gasped and squealed excitedly. "I Love this place!" she said. Lyulf smiled as he parked and then opening up her door he held a hand out for her and said "I know, Thats why i brought you here" She beamed at him and walked happily through the doors, Lyulf gave the guy at the front his name for the reservation and the pulled her chair out for her. As They ate their meal she told him about all of the stuff she had been doing lately. For dessert they shared a large slice of Cheesecake. After that they sat and talked for a while, and then they finally decided to leave. On the way home she told him about all the stuff she wanted to do when she was a bit older, and she told him about all the places she wanted to go. Lyulf was sad when they reached her house. Parking in the driveway he walked around and opened up her door.Walking her to the front door lyulf was again amazed by how beautiful she looked. AT the door she turned and looked at him "thank you so much, I really had the time of my life" she said blushing slightly. Lyulf blushed a bit and looked away running his hand through his hair "Well, yea you're my, um . Best friend" he said shyly. slightly wishing he had the courage to ask her to be his girlfriend. sighing they stood there for a moment. and then she sighed "well, um goodnight" she said slightly awkwardly before disappearing into her house. Lyulf walked back to his car a silently cursed himself for not taking the chance, he should of pulled her close, told her how much she meant to him and then kissed her like he had always wanted to.

(word count 493)

Lyulfs biggest mistake was not telling his best friend ari that he loves her. He has loved her for a very long time and so for her birthday he decided that he would take her out to her favorite nice resturant and that at the end of the date he told himself that he would ask her out and kiss her. The biggest reason he didn't tell her is because he is so afraid that she doesnt love him back, and that if he tells her it will ruin their friendship, So for now he just acts like they normally do, Teasing back and forth and acting more like siblings.
(word count 110)
Last edited by Ember the Wolf on Mon Nov 17, 2014 10:56 am, edited 3 times in total.
Image








Image








┏━━━━━━━━━┓
DeviantArt
YouTube
Commisions

┣━━━━━━━━━┫
Main characters
My simas

┣━━━━━━━━━┫
Sima adopts
┗━━━━━━━━━┛
User avatar
Ember the Wolf
 
Posts: 9270
Joined: Sun May 19, 2013 4:08 am
My pets
My items
My wishlist
My gallery
My scenes
My dressups
Trade with me

Re: Parrapup # 100 - Closed

Postby Eyvindr » Thu Nov 06, 2014 10:09 am

I'll post my story here :3 just need a deadline XD
Image
User avatar
Eyvindr
 
Posts: 2595
Joined: Fri Dec 24, 2010 1:42 pm
My pets
My items
My wishlist
My gallery
My scenes
My dressups
Trade with me

Re: Parrapup # 100 - Closed

Postby Ember the Wolf » Mon Nov 10, 2014 4:06 am

*Bump*
Image








Image








┏━━━━━━━━━┓
DeviantArt
YouTube
Commisions

┣━━━━━━━━━┫
Main characters
My simas

┣━━━━━━━━━┫
Sima adopts
┗━━━━━━━━━┛
User avatar
Ember the Wolf
 
Posts: 9270
Joined: Sun May 19, 2013 4:08 am
My pets
My items
My wishlist
My gallery
My scenes
My dressups
Trade with me

Re: Parrapup # 100 - Tie Breaking Round

Postby Beatnik » Mon Nov 17, 2014 10:11 am

Tie Breaker

Alright, so now that I've figured out what's going to happen to parrapups, I can now post the tie breaker for this one!

You must write a 500 words or less story of #100's Biggest Mistake and how it has affected them in 200 words or less. These sections can be completely separate or can be one big 700 word or less story. If I cannot distinctly see both parts of the story, then the one who does portray both wins. If both portray it well, then the best story with the best reasoning wins. If both fail to portray it well, you will be given another tie breaker round based off art.


Once both of you have finished your posts, post that you are submitting your form. Prettying up is welcome: No tiny fonts and no changing text color. Use this website to check the length of your story:

http://wordcounter.net/
ImageDeviantart - Parrapups -----
[Win a BE or CE Galaxy]
[Chicken is not a part of a species, they have been my fursona for a few years now]
Image
User avatar
Beatnik
 
Posts: 4583
Joined: Mon Jul 25, 2011 9:08 pm
My pets
My items
My wishlist
My gallery
My scenes
My dressups
Trade with me

Re: Parrapup # 100 - Closed

Postby Ember the Wolf » Mon Nov 17, 2014 10:57 am

Submitted my story, It's at the top of the page <3
Image








Image








┏━━━━━━━━━┓
DeviantArt
YouTube
Commisions

┣━━━━━━━━━┫
Main characters
My simas

┣━━━━━━━━━┫
Sima adopts
┗━━━━━━━━━┛
User avatar
Ember the Wolf
 
Posts: 9270
Joined: Sun May 19, 2013 4:08 am
My pets
My items
My wishlist
My gallery
My scenes
My dressups
Trade with me

Re: Parrapup # 100 - Closed

Postby Beatnik » Mon Nov 17, 2014 10:59 am

Ember the Wolf wrote:Submitted my story, It's at the top of the page <3


Alright, please do not edit your form! nwn Just need to wait for Eyvindr to submit their form
ImageDeviantart - Parrapups -----
[Win a BE or CE Galaxy]
[Chicken is not a part of a species, they have been my fursona for a few years now]
Image
User avatar
Beatnik
 
Posts: 4583
Joined: Mon Jul 25, 2011 9:08 pm
My pets
My items
My wishlist
My gallery
My scenes
My dressups
Trade with me

Re: Parrapup # 100 - Closed

Postby Eyvindr » Mon Nov 17, 2014 11:25 pm

A time before he had an companions, before the baby raven or Anxite, Phenex had a heart desperate for answers that would propel him to do anything in order to get those answers. It was also a time when he was more innocent and trusting but due to the trust of one man came the consequence of Phenex's world crashing down on him.

On one event-less evening two stones settled at the back of his neck, Phenex was becoming desperate for answers, enough so that when a man came to him, offered his hand with the promise that he could use said stones to locate the sender, his mother, his parents and to him that was enough. The promise was enough.
He never saw the strange glint in the man's eyes, the look of greed and the promise of misfortune. In all truth he should have followed and warnings of a dark alley way, ghostly lights and the location of a bad neighborhood but he'd lived on the streets, he was used to this but he should have remembered that there were dangers out there too but he didn't he just continued to follow into the back of a store, full of trinkets and what he would later realize a place where dark magic was done.

The man had gone to sit down, motioned for him to come closer and when he did he grabbed the parra hard enough that it felt like something would break, he'd grabbed for one of the stones, careful of the flames since he seemed to think ti would hurt. no matter how much Phenex told him to stop, tried to bite because those were his mother's gift to him the man had ignored him. Had even muttered to himself that Phenex himself even after death he would be of great worth and use.

He didnt know how long but he he struggled and the man seemed to have lost his patience with the parra, enough so that he had dragged the parra who was still young, still so easy to be dragged and moved without too much effort had tried to grab a knife, some would believe ti to be a ceremonial dagger but to Phenex that didnt matter at all, all he knew was that he had to get free and to protect the stones.

His rescue came in the form of a strange purple and blue parra, one that seemed cold and calculating at just the look of him, he was cold enough that he bite the man where it seemed to hurt the most and almost practically dragged Phenex out until Phenex, so shaken and traumatized at the near lose of his life, struggled and demanded he walked on his own. Once he was released he didnt run, he didnt fight but instead he followed the silent parra, the one that seemed to click as he went and though the parra was a stranger, at least he wasnt human.

[498 words]


Though it didnt seem so bad, this was Phenex's biggest mistake and hardest lesson. He had been so desperate for answers that he followed someone blindly, someone that gave all the warning signs of being dangerous but ignored them. It had almost cost him his life and the chance of truly finding his mother and father, that is what made it his biggest mistake. His eagerness back firing but thanks to that he has met Anxite, he has learnt that not everyone is telling the truth and that people are out to get you and will use what you want most to get what they want even if it costs you your life.
to this day though Phenex still does not trust anyone and would rather use them then be used like he did, he is still very untrusting of man kind that he wont let one touch him unless its to get something from them. In a way he almost became his mistake he just knows when not to go too far with it.

[175 words]



Here is my story ^^
Image
User avatar
Eyvindr
 
Posts: 2595
Joined: Fri Dec 24, 2010 1:42 pm
My pets
My items
My wishlist
My gallery
My scenes
My dressups
Trade with me

Re: Parrapup # 100 - Closed

Postby waterstar. » Thu Nov 27, 2014 10:12 am

ooo both stories are really good ;v; congrats to both of you c:








┏─────────────┓
- why bees are dying
- what you can do
- green peace
- (my) kalons
- (my) simas
- new youtube restrictions
- trump delays bees
- why bees are important

┖─────────────┚











Hello everyone, this is Acid-tripp. I'm Water's younger sibling. She has since moved and forgotten about CS but is happy. Any activity on her account since around 2018 I believe has been me. I'm sorry for all of the people still active who wish to communicate with her but can't. I wish you all a great day/night and i'm sorry.
waterstar.
 
Posts: 4189
Joined: Fri Sep 07, 2012 3:27 pm
My pets
My items
My wishlist
My gallery
My scenes
My dressups
Trade with me

Re: Parrapup # 100 - Closed

Postby Ember the Wolf » Mon Dec 08, 2014 2:30 pm

Small Bump <3
Image








Image








┏━━━━━━━━━┓
DeviantArt
YouTube
Commisions

┣━━━━━━━━━┫
Main characters
My simas

┣━━━━━━━━━┫
Sima adopts
┗━━━━━━━━━┛
User avatar
Ember the Wolf
 
Posts: 9270
Joined: Sun May 19, 2013 4:08 am
My pets
My items
My wishlist
My gallery
My scenes
My dressups
Trade with me

Re: Parrapup # 100 - Closed

Postby Beatnik » Tue Dec 09, 2014 2:57 am

Sorry this took so long, but my bud finally got the time to read through these! nwn (College student who doesn't get much time on their handsss)

Anonymous wrote:Ember the wolf, I really like the believability of his mistake and that you should this well through the story. I would have liked to see more inner struggle since this is a man vs man type story. On the other hand the emotions that he went through was easy and interesting to follow.


Eyvindr I enjoyed yours story as well. It was well planned and I like that you included his stones as part of the story. I can defiantly see how this mistake of trust could change his life. But, I would liked to have see more of how Parra 100 felt and dealt with event rather than just be told that he learned not to trust people.

Ember the wolf and Eyvindr. you made this a very hard challenge to judge. You both may have benefited from a proof read, their were a few spelling and grammar errors that made reading it a little hard, but I'm not judging on that. I truly love having a story with more than one character. I can easily believe both of these mistakes and can see that they are supported in the stories, however I feel that the flow and personality was shown more in Ember the wolves. Eyvindr you story was very focused on the evil of this evil man and that Parra 100 trusted him too quickly. Also Anxite seemed to over shadow Parra 100 very easily in just a short amount of time, where as the girl in Ember the wolf's story was more a supporting role and did not upstage Parra 100.

I would like to award Ember the Wolf Parra 100, I feel that the story you shared with me told be more about Parra 100's personality and how his flaw and fear caused him to make a grave mistake.


And that also means that Eyvindr gets the Custom Runner up! nwn The Custom is drawn on the regular lines, and I'M HOPING WON'T TAKE LONG. Finals for some people are all this week and then I also have some 'before christmas break' work. So just pm me with some things you would like for your custom! nwn (Palette, edit ideas, wings or not.. etc)
ImageDeviantart - Parrapups -----
[Win a BE or CE Galaxy]
[Chicken is not a part of a species, they have been my fursona for a few years now]
Image
User avatar
Beatnik
 
Posts: 4583
Joined: Mon Jul 25, 2011 9:08 pm
My pets
My items
My wishlist
My gallery
My scenes
My dressups
Trade with me

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests