Free wishlist pets! Read post!

[dewcxt]

Ggg

[_rιyα_]

I think it's really good, and I can't wait until you continue it! I'll be sure to keep up!

[Poetplays]

Very nice! I noticed a few grammatical errors, but the story itself seems very interesting. The paragraph ending with "starting to purr" lacked a period at the end of the sentence. With a few grammar corrections, this story will be excellent!

[Iridescentdawn]

I think the interactions and body language could be fleshed out a little better. For example,
"Blackpaw, Frostpaw, and Sleetpaw... were clearly trying to impress the she cats", you could describe the behaviors that make it clear that they're trying to impress the she-cats (cockily flicking tails, puffed chest, playfighting), instead of stating it outright. This will make the passage read more vividly.

[dewcxt]

Ghh

[dewcxt]

Bbb

[dewcxt]

Hhh

[Rukia~Okami]

Weedpaw going yo yo yo at people, a great cat rapper

[dewcxt]

FFf

[★·.·´Lightnight`·.·★]

bump
and well I read your story and there wasnt realy anything bad that I saw it was really good