how to write zesty backstories 101

[pereyra]

disclaimer; i like really blunt humour. if you don't, this thread
probably isn't for you. also, i'm not claiming to know everything,
just a lot of things.

hi. my name is balenciaga, and i've been a roleplayer for way too long.
i've roleplayed here, and on a lot of other websites, and if i had a dime for every time someone asked where i got one of my character's backstories, i'd probably buy every website i've ever roleplayed on and delete them all. i'd also have a very unreasonable job in a career that makes no sense.
anyway, without further ado, here's some tips on writing zesty backstories;

1; avoid the usual roleplay backstory cliches.

not everyone needs to be an orphan or have an abusive parent or ex. i mean, yeah, those stories can be well written and a good way for survivors of these sorts of things to have an outlet, but when there's twenty of these characters in the same roleplay, it gets kind of old. cliches can be good, in moderation, which brings me to point number two;

2; if you can't avoid cliches, at least make them interesting.

put a twist on it. instead of having another character whose parents died in a car crash, have a character whose parents died as missionaries overseas. explore how that will affect them, instead of making another character who's afraid of cars.

normal example; shenandoah's parents were killed for no apparent reason when she was very young and she has no memory of them, but she's still traumatized by it.
zesty example; pierceton's brother was shot during a robbery at a coffee shop and killed. now, every time she smells coffee, she gets sick.

3; why's it gotta be tragic?

the funny thing about backstories for characters is that they don't have to be tragic to be interesting or to affect the character, contrary to popular belief. think about the things that have happened to you in your life and the experiences you've learned from- surely not all of them have been horrible and awful and traumatizing. life can be good, and writing a backstory that isn't tragic can offer a lot of creative freedom and be a lot of fun!

normal example; alessandro is an orphan who was passed from foster home to foster home and nobody loved him because he had a stutter.
zesty example; lowell had an awful job he didn't like so he quit, went home, packed a suitcase, set his cat free, bit the landlord, then moved to new york to start a new life.

4; a backstory doesn't need to be long to be interesting.

some people like to write essays for backstories. that's okay, you do you. i personally will write a paragraph at most, usually a few sentences. (as someone who hosts roleplays, i will say that if you post a ten page paper, times new roman twelve point font, double spaced, for your character's backstory, there's a really, really good chance i didn't read it and i maybe skimmed through it but probably just trusted that you had something of substance in there because frankly, i don't care what jason had for breakfast on the morning of his fourth birthday before his mother was randomly run over on her way to buy him a birthday cake.)

normal example; on the morning of april twelfth, nineteen ninety-nine, jason lee williams was born during a warm spring night where there were stars in the sky and they were doing that thing that stars do where they shine and it was cool i guess? i don't feel like actually putting the effort into writing like this, but the point is that some of the backstories i have seen are wild when it comes to length and while that might be your thing and that's perfectly fine, having a long backstory doesn't make a character's backstory any more interesting and also as a roleplay host i probably won't read it and every other roleplay host i've ever talked to about this has said the same thing- we're probably not going to read it. so, has anyone ever realised that a spoon is basically just a bowl with a stick on the end? anyway, then jason's mother was hit by a car and because his father left in the middle of the night, he was now an orphan so his tragic backstory can continue from there...
zesty example; leslie is an only child who was raised by a single father after their mother died. when their mother died, leslie's father promised them they would go on vacation some time. instead, they got cable tv.
(that's it, that's their whole backstory. it's short, simple, and it tells you something about their life- their mother died, they were raised by a single parent, they watched a lot of television growing up. great. now follow step five.)

5; tie your character's backstory into their personality.

juxtaposition is cool! in photography. for reasons completely unknown to me, a lot of roleplayers tend to keep their character's personalities and histories completely separate. i will never understand this. when it comes to real people, we're very affected by our pasts. humans learn from example. so, instead of throwing some random character traits down, think to yourself, how will my character's past affect them in the present? a character with a history of not being loved is probably not going to push everyone away, because that's not human nature. that sort of person in the real world would instead likely be very attention needy. generally, this can also make your character's personality a lot more interesting.

normal example; emmaline was horrifically abused her whole life. she's shy, but she's really mean to other people who make her mad and she for some reason only has anxiety issues and depression when it's convenient.
zesty example; (revisiting leslie...) leslie grew up watching television after their mother died instead of going on the vacations their father promised. they don't trust the word of others and they take comfort in technology.

6; it's fiction. go wild.

the cool thing about fiction is that you get to play god, kind of. what happens to your character is completely up to you- so why make it a carbon copy of a story that's been told a million times before when you could tell a story you've never heard? sometimes, even the smallest details can elevate a story.

normal example; jewel had to basically raise themself because their parents were alcoholics who fought a lot and ignored them.
zesty example; lyris was a rebellious teenager who burnt down a weight watchers clinic and got away with it.

7; take everything i say with a grain of salt if you don't like it.

at the end of the day, do what makes you happy. roleplaying is only a hobby, and if you like writing characters with tragic backstories and abusive parents, then by all means, go for it. people will judge you no matter what you do, so you might as well do whatever you want. like i said in my disclaimer, i don't claim to know everything. just a lot of things.

things i do know; my dog is cool, the lyrics to basically every bjork song, sign language
things i don't know; math, swedish, anything about you or your life or what you enjoy

anyway, hopefully this helped someone.
questions and comments can be posted here or messaged to me, but i only accept hate mail if it's a haiku.

[AtlasHyperion]

I must say, you are very funny. I approve entirely of your sense of humor, and the random backstories are amusing.

And yeah, as someone who roleplays too much, please don't make everyone read your 10-page proofread essay highlighting literally everything your character has ever done. Here's a pretty easy way to make sure your history or bio or personality or whatever paragraph isn't too long: write it like you're giving me your notes you took in class.

Remember the key to good note-taking? Being concise. Because when the test rolls around, the paragraph about that little thing that you didn't need to know isn't helpful. Format your whatever like this: heading - key points - importance. What's the big picture (heading) that I need to know? What are the important details that can't be left out (key points) - but don't put in all the details! And what's the significance of anything I just read (importance)?

If you keep it brief, heck, if you give me a heading, sub-heading, and bulletpoints, I'm going to read it. If I see an absolute wall of text, let's be honest, I wouldn't be able to glean anything from the unlikely event that I even skimmed it. And if you really need a whole paragraph for your character's backstory, use one! Just keep it at one.

And another tip, if you're really struggling to stop using ten pages to explain a simple thing: recite your character's backstory. Before you're going to type up your official post, get a bit of scratch paper and write down a bulletpoint list of all the major, important events that shaped who your character is. Then, read it over, and if you're even slightly unsure about how necessary a point is, erase it, cover it with Sharpie, whatever. Take your remaining points and write your backstory. If you're looking over it, going, "Oh hey, I need to mention _____ that I took off the list", add it in. If you didn't remember your point, it's probably not that important.

Thanks for a super helpful and also really comprehensible guide!