Lights On Lights Off Fanclub

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Re: Lights On Lights Off Fanclub

Postby britneyrox » Fri Sep 22, 2017 12:58 pm

Sirius.B wrote:Hiii. It's my first year playing LO/LO, as I've stated a few times. Was just wondering if I could get some opinions/critiques on my stories? :D

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      You'll need to be sure the door doesn't open in your trick-or-treater story. That's against the rules, so your form will be declined as is. Other than that, I think your dressup is really cute and like the use of scenery items! c:









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Re: Lights On Lights Off Fanclub

Postby jpjamz » Fri Sep 22, 2017 3:26 pm

britneyrox wrote:
Sirius.B wrote:Hiii. It's my first year playing LO/LO, as I've stated a few times. Was just wondering if I could get some opinions/critiques on my stories? :D

-snip-


      You'll need to be sure the door doesn't open in your trick-or-treater story. That's against the rules, so your form will be declined as is. Other than that, I think your dressup is really cute and like the use of scenery items! c:


That's one of the things that was confusing :( I don't understand how we're supposed to end it with "trick or treat!" if the door doesn't open..

And thank you!
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Re: Lights On Lights Off Fanclub

Postby NovaSkye » Fri Sep 22, 2017 3:31 pm

Sirius.B wrote:
britneyrox wrote:
Sirius.B wrote:Hiii. It's my first year playing LO/LO, as I've stated a few times. Was just wondering if I could get some opinions/critiques on my stories? :D

-snip-


      You'll need to be sure the door doesn't open in your trick-or-treater story. That's against the rules, so your form will be declined as is. Other than that, I think your dressup is really cute and like the use of scenery items! c:


That's one of the things that was confusing :( I don't understand how we're supposed to end it with "trick or treat!" if the door doesn't open..

And thank you!


      It still makes sense if you just take out "Once the door swung open," at the end of your story!<3
I used to love this site. I was very active, helped around with LO/LO, and engaged in the adopt communities. I found myself losing interest and seeing more toxicity on here and from people here over on other websites. I don't find myself on here anymore and I doubt I'll come back. To my friends: I miss you. I hope you're well. Hopefully 2020 gets better for us. See you on the other side.
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Re: Lights On Lights Off Fanclub

Postby musicgurl333 » Fri Sep 22, 2017 4:00 pm

Sirius.B wrote:
britneyrox wrote:
Sirius.B wrote:Hiii. It's my first year playing LO/LO, as I've stated a few times. Was just wondering if I could get some opinions/critiques on my stories? :D

-snip-


      You'll need to be sure the door doesn't open in your trick-or-treater story. That's against the rules, so your form will be declined as is. Other than that, I think your dressup is really cute and like the use of scenery items! c:


That's one of the things that was confusing :( I don't understand how we're supposed to end it with "trick or treat!" if the door doesn't open..

And thank you!


I understand your confusion. In real life, you wouldn't say "trick-or-treat" to a closed door. But in the game, some people have greeters to give out tricks or treats, and some may not open the door. By having the door open you're sort of taking control of the other person's side of the story, if that makes sense. To get around this, I've seen some people end their story with something like, "and then they knocked and waited to see if it would open, ready to say, "trick-or-treat!" That way you're not making the other person's "door" open, but your pet isn't yelling through a closed door either. Hopefully that helps! :)
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Re: Lights On Lights Off Fanclub

Postby Seabird » Sat Sep 23, 2017 1:09 pm

@BrightDays - I think your story is pretty solid! It's short, sweet, and meets all the requirements. If you plan on adding anything, I would personally love to see more detail about how the weather/environment is outside. Otherwise, you story could definitely work as it is!
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Re: Lights On Lights Off Fanclub

Postby Oshawott8888 » Sat Sep 23, 2017 1:45 pm

any ideas of items i can use on these 2 dressups for my LOLO trick message? i'm trying to make a crazy little kid and a frazzled mom :'>

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Re: Lights On Lights Off Fanclub

Postby Coraychi » Sat Sep 23, 2017 1:52 pm

Oshawott8888 wrote:any ideas of items i can use on these 2 dressups for my LOLO trick message? i'm trying to make a crazy little kid and a frazzled mom :'>

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Some sad or tired eyes on the mom might help!
You've got a few of those to choose from if you'd like to go that route. Maybe a toy from the 'held in mouth' section? Would look like she's cleaning up or carrying toys around for her pup.
If you want the kid to look like they're making a mess of the house, some scattered plushies and paint splats on the wall would be a good idea! They're looking cute so far! :'D
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Re: Lights On Lights Off Fanclub

Postby Oshawott8888 » Sat Sep 23, 2017 1:58 pm

Coraychi wrote:
Oshawott8888 wrote:any ideas of items i can use on these 2 dressups for my LOLO trick message? i'm trying to make a crazy little kid and a frazzled mom :'>

ImageImage


Some sad or tired eyes on the mom might help!
You've got a few of those to choose from if you'd like to go that route. Maybe a toy from the 'held in mouth' section? Would look like she's cleaning up or carrying toys around for her pup.
If you want the kid to look like they're making a mess of the house, some scattered plushies and paint splats on the wall would be a good idea! They're looking cute so far! :'D

Alright thank you so much!

How the story goes is that the kid is throwing eggs basically, so are there any like
broken egg items that anyone can think of?
or maybe a broom for the mother?
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Re: Lights On Lights Off Fanclub

Postby Seabird » Sat Sep 23, 2017 2:15 pm

@Oshawott8888 - Actually, broken egg items specifically Halloween themed do exist! The problem is that they're from 2012, so they may be harder to find these days. As Coraychi said, paint splatters would be a good idea. Maybe you can find some sort of white paint splatter/round object to combine with a smaller yellow object to create sort of an egg on the walls?
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Re: Lights On Lights Off Fanclub

Postby Oshawott8888 » Sat Sep 23, 2017 2:43 pm

Seabird wrote:@Oshawott8888 - Actually, broken egg items specifically Halloween themed do exist! The problem is that they're from 2012, so they may be harder to find these days. As Coraychi said, paint splatters would be a good idea. Maybe you can find some sort of white paint splatter/round object to combine with a smaller yellow object to create sort of an egg on the walls?

alright ^-^
First i'm going to see if i can find any eggs or toilet paper (i could probably incorporate that into the story haha), and worst case scenario i can just improvise :'>

also, does anyone know if there are any like
mom-y dresses or aprons or something?
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