frozen shards of ice seethed past the apprentice den, the weather on the verge of a blizzard. nearly every warrior and apprentice was tucked away in their den, either fighting to keep elders and queens warm- or watching the storm unravel with anxious eyes. but one lump of white fur was too snuggled into her nest to even notice the cold weather. whitepaw turned her body away from the howling wind instinctively, half awake though she kept her eyes shut. the clans weather always seemed to mundane to her. either so hot cats were burning their paws in greenleaf, so windy that cats would have to hold onto their fur in leaffall, so icy that the clan would hardly do anything in leafbare- and lastly so exciting that cats would forget their duties in newleaf. everything was constantly on repeat. and despite only being twelve-moons old, whitepaw new she'd never be able to make it for another cycle of seasons. she needed change, and she didnt care what she'd have to do to get it. eerily pale eyes glaring into the den's wall, the small- white dipped molly listened in on the other apprentice's conversations, her tail flicking in annoyance at their loud voices. even the things they spoke about never changed! it was always some trashy gossip or complaints! sighing harshly, the young shecat got to her paws- angrily padding past each of her clanmates until wind battered at her fur furiously, half-way in the den and halfway in the camp. "whitepaw, dont do that!" yowled the shecats closest and only friend, the medicine cat apprentice sagepaw. frustrated- the molly turned back to her friend, eyes growing sharp. "i'd rather freeze to death than listen to everyone's stupid gossiping. i feel like im trapped in a cycle of boredom!" huffing one last time, the shecat turned to the front- pushing herself into the white flames until they swallowed her whole. rather quickly sagepaw lost sight of her, watching desperately as her ashen coat melted into snow.
whitepaw yearned for change, for something different to occur. though she had soon realized that if she wanted change, she'd have to do more then just long for it. demand it. to her, it didnt matter whether that change meant her own death. because to be entirely honest, the repetition of her days all coated with boredom was far worse then any death starclan could curse her with. wind bashed her coat, twisting at her ears and nipping at her paws. the feeling of turning numb began to crawl at her tail-tip and muzzle, though she prevailed. she prevailed until she had finally maneuvered her way out of fogclan camp, into the frosty forests that overlooked a large ravine. the air was still thick with a storm- ice whirring past her ears along with the occasional air-bound twig. she was sure that none of the apprentices had been brave- or maybe even stupid enough to try and venture into the storm to alert some senior warriors, that she was grateful for. it meant she had more time then she needed to go on an adventure. truthfully, whitepaw had no idea where she planned on going- and instead followed her instincts. the fact that all she could see was snow and her own, near frozen whiskers was also a worry- but the ashen apprentice felt a thrill in the danger. fogclan was boring- constantly waiting for something to happen. hell, whitepaw had only been in two battles and she was nearly warrior age. one of those battles was with an old, blind fox- too! it hardly counted. her dark brown eyes squinted as she tried to make-out the shapes of each differing tree, it getting harder and harder to do so.
a sudden slip was all it took for whitepaw to fall down a ravine, her near-frozen claws immediately trying to click to icy-rock, her pelt spiking in horror. with a yelp, the molly watched terrified as her claws began to slip, paws feeling too numb to control. desperate to stay alive the molly clung onto the edge of the ravine with her jaw, canines stabbing into the rock despite the excruciating pain the action brought. whitepaw didnt want to die... she really didnt. weight clawed at her pelt like water, dragging her under. terror bubbled at the pits of her stomach, screaming at her to do something. but she couldnt. she didnt know what to do. fogclan's elders would always tell her that someones last moments are beautiful, filled with memories of their lifetime. but now whitepaw could disagree. all she felt was misfortune, worry, anger. frustration. nothing even near being put at rest or feeling excited to see the starclan cats. after all, she knew no dead cats. and she couldnt do anything as her jaws slipped again. and again...
fear pricking at her eyes, the molly felt helpless as her jaw grew slack- exhaustion overtaking her desire to live. all it took for her to near death was one single mistake. and she was about to make another. numbness eating at her body, whitepaw gave in to the exhaustion- watching through half-lidded brown eyes as she fell from the ravine, wind carrying her down to the bottom where snow had been piled up. with the wind tossing her around, she was forced to look down at the nearing ground- only taking note of the sharp rocks that would work as a pillow for her, when her dark eyes shut.
that happened 3 moons ago.