[ tenor saxs' journal ] :: ☀︎

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[ serendipity.'s journal ] :: ☀︎ :: 10

Postby velasco » Mon Mar 05, 2018 9:55 am

feeling: content.
II march 4th, 2018.
    - my friend just left. my cat's back in my room and clingier than ever. she's so protective and jealous, she refuses to love me when someone else is over. either that, or she's all over me and hissing at the person who's over. she did both of those this weekend. as much as i love my friend, i'm kind of of glad she's gone. i can only handle people for so long, if i'm being honest. i've been watching the office, can't wait to draw!! gonna go start drawing now (:
- serendipity. ☀︎
Last edited by velasco on Thu Mar 29, 2018 1:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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[ serendipity.'s journal ] :: ☀︎ :: 11

Postby velasco » Wed Mar 07, 2018 2:54 pm

feeling: excited and happy!
II march 6th, 2018.
    - so the strike is over! i believe, i may be wrong, our teachers got a 5% raise that goes into effect immediately? but i know my teachers still aren't quite satisfied lmao. but !! i'm so glad to be going back to school; i get to see my boyfriend. i'm gonna give him the biggest hug, i've missed him so much. aaah. he's such an angel, i don't deserve him. at all. he's so cute n perfect n pure. aaah. i love him so much, i'm so excited to see his dumb face. i'd never tell him to his face, but he's rlly cute. (when i say that, i mean i constantly tease him and i'm honestly sO MEAN but he knows i love him, i always reassure him after i'm done teasing him). i think i'm gonna watch the office until i can fall asleep. goodnight everyone! hope everyone had a good day or will have a good day!
- serendipity. ☀︎
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[ serendipity.'s journal ] :: ☀︎ :: 12

Postby velasco » Mon Mar 19, 2018 8:34 am

feeling: content, happy even.
II march 18th, 2018.
    - omg, i haven't made an entry in so long. i have all passing grades in school! I HAVE AN A IN MATH!! god, i'm so happy. this is gonna be short because i don't have much to write about, but i just realized how little i've posted. aaah. um. i've recently gotten two characters that i'm totally in love with, so i've been drawing a bit lately. uhhh. i'm gonna go, i'm really sleepy and sick. woooop.
- serendipity. ☀︎
Last edited by velasco on Thu Mar 22, 2018 3:19 am, edited 1 time in total.
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[ serendipity.'s journal ] :: ☀︎ :: 13

Postby velasco » Thu Mar 22, 2018 3:19 am

feeling: so friggin happy!!!
II march 21st, 2018.
    - aaaah! todays my one month with my boyfriend. i genuinely can't fathom why he'd stick around with me for a month, but i'm so happy. i know a month may not seem like a ton to other people, but it's so much to me. people get tired of me within the first week, or i get tired of them within the first week. it's just crazy tbh. but now! literally someone i wouldn't hesitate to call the loml to anyone and everyone has dealt with me for an entire month. i'm literally so happy right now, omg. he makes me so happy. agh.
- serendipity. ☀︎
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[ serendipity.'s journal ] :: ☀︎ :: 14

Postby velasco » Thu Mar 29, 2018 1:06 pm

feeling: numb + empty.
II march 28th, 2018.
    - i think we're breaking up.
- serendipity. ☀︎
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[ serendipity.'s journal ] :: ☀︎ :: 15

Postby velasco » Fri Mar 30, 2018 8:28 am

feeling: sad.
II march 29th, 2018.
    - we broke up. i absolutely destroyed my phone. but i guess it balances out, he absolutely destroyed my heart.
- serendipity. ☀︎
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[ serendipity.'s journal ] :: ☀︎ :: 16

Postby velasco » Thu Apr 12, 2018 2:58 pm

feeling: okay?
II april 11th, 2018.
    - alright! i'm feeling better after the breakup. in all honestly, i knew we needed to break up before we even did. he was growing tired of me, and i was growing tired of him. there were rumors of him cheating which only led me to grow more and more tired of him. i could only handle so much. so, i'm alright! i'm okay! i'm doing so much better! i also think i'm gay, so that's fun? but anytime i think i'm gay i immediately run back to my comfort spot, which is bisexual, because i like attention + i'm scared of calling myself 'lesbian'. i've been taught if i'm going to be either lesbian or bisexual, bisexual's better, by my homophobic family. but i just don't sexually like guys. oh well, i'll figure it out. last practice for follies was tonight! god, it's so good! our opening house is tomorrow, i can't wait! the only thing i don't like is the dumb hairspray skit we do. it's the dumbest skit in the history of follies. maybe i only think that because i hate hairspray with a passion, it's so dumb. ((grease is better)) they've done phantom of the opera before and, sadly, don't repeat themes. so that was off the table, ):. we initially were gonna do pixar, which THE TENORS HAD A FREAKING SOLO IN FRIEND IN ME AND THE THEME SONG FOR UP, but our director didn't like that, and the dancer's director REALLY didn't like her girls couldn't dance around in skin tight literal bikinis. i hate the dancers and their director oh my god, absolute snobs. she asked me to be a dancer and when i turned her down she went off. she only asks girls to be dancers if they're skinny and ''pretty'' which is absolutely disgusting to me. that being said, i'm excited for follies nonetheless. my dad's coming on the second to last night. i haven't seen him since before he landed himself in prison. i'm excited but nervous. i'm scared all this bottled up anger i have for him will come out if he says the wrong thing. but then again, he's my dad, and i've always been a daddy's girl, even if he's barely been around. )): god i'm a mess.
    xx i talked to my ex girlfriend during practice today. she recently cut her hair. i can't help but be jealous of her new girlfriend. she had her before her and i even broke up. it breaks my heart. she's stunning, and probably the best person i've ever dated. i still have one of her hoodies which i shamefully keep in my closet. i know i still love her, but i'll push it away, it'll be okay. i just miss her sometimes more than others. right now is one of those more times. but it'll be okay. )): i love her to bits though. like wow. everything she does is absolutely adorable. the way she anxiously runs her fingers through her hair or covers her face with her hand as she looks down to the ground to laugh. she stands next to me during follies while she plays percussion stuff. i miss her. )): but it'll be okay! she's doing good without me and i know i'm a toxic person so i won't talk to her again, as much as i want to. she's finally detoxed from me, and i don't wanna ruin that. her and her girlfriend are awful together, but they seem happy, and that's all that matters. as long as she's happy. right? my happiness isn't as important as hers. right?
- serendipity. ☀︎
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[tenor saxs' journal ] :: ☀︎ :: 17

Postby velasco » Tue Apr 17, 2018 4:18 am

feeling: content, happy, loved, loving
II april 16th, 2018.
    - i've discovered i don't like the ex i mentioned in my last entry. i was only lonely and recently out of a breakup. however, now that it's been about a month since the breakup, i have my feelings in check. and i've started to develop feelings for a different girl, yet another ex. we didn't work out because she was too immature for my liking, i like mature people. but, she's changed. she's matured personality wise. and i loved absolutely everything about her when we were together besides her immaturity, and considering she's matured now, i can see us working together well. she loves me, and i know it, and i love her too. we've started talking again. i'm so happy, and it's obvious. i've been happier today, and friends at school noticed. when they asked why i'm in such a good mood i just got so giddy and flustered, i giggled and blushed. it's all because of her. she's absolutely gorgeous, on both the inside and out. i'm- sorry, i'm just so happy.
- tenor sax ☀︎
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