Ch.1 Of Thovatos. feel free to comment! This is my book on Wattpad I am currently writing.
MILD LANGUAGE WARNING
Small note: There is a lot of text here, so there is bound to be some typos. I apologize in advance. Depending on how well this goes on here, I'll keep posting. If not, I will just write on Wattpad <3 Thanks for reading and Feel free to comment!
MILD LANGUAGE WARNING
Small note: There is a lot of text here, so there is bound to be some typos. I apologize in advance. Depending on how well this goes on here, I'll keep posting. If not, I will just write on Wattpad <3 Thanks for reading and Feel free to comment!
My eyes crossed with letters dancing about the pages on my desk. The soft yellow light from above me barely cut through the darkness, enticing me to sleep. It was almost like it was an interrogation light, and as I listened to the straining of the pastel yellow bulb above me, I yearned to leave. I daydreamed of sleep as my brain was overburdened, and even against my best judgment, I was considering just giving up tonight. Savy would have me dead, but even that sounded better than another damn page of paperwork. I was not even allowed to leave the door cracked; my 'boss' fears I may be seen by the people in the lobby. I think it's bull that I cannot reveal myself to them. After all, this place has the magic to hide my 'extra' features, but Savitar claims that, "...it can only do so much".
He and I have been friends for the past millennia now— even to the point we could even be family, but for a while now he just has been so heartless.
I finally freed myself from the desk, leaning forward to avoid hitting the low dangling lamp. I glanced over my past due work that awaited me with its devilish ink.
I glided to the door with deep hopes that the place was empty. It was open almost every hour of every day, making leaving feel seemingly impossible. It was also late, but even at hours like these people show up. I cracked the door slowly, praying silently to door to not creek. I squinted as it did so and it happened every time so it should have came to no surprise. I silently cursed this closet door. I sighed with relief when I realized that sound was the only thing that echoed throughout the lobby. As it seemed, not even Rai wasn't present at the front desk. I was too tired for observations, though, so I treated myself to opening the door. As a bit of habit, I couldn't help but to feel uncomfortable leaving my space, and I didn't stick around to find any other faces. Better to be somewhere else when Savitar finds that I am not here.
I could picture the anger in his maroon-brown eyes; even more guilt on my back, but I could not bare this solitary and chains. However, I knew in my heart I could not free myself without guilt; I was irreplaceable at what I did. It was also more than I was ever willing to commit my soul to.
I could see the moon and it's inviting smile as I crossed the room. The stars dappled the night sky as the city rested its blinding eyes. I could also see Savitar's face in mind, leaving an imprint as I tried to think of the outside world.
I pushed the clear glass door; its cool surface was shared with the outside wind. I was nervous to leave as I had always been forbidden to do so— unless I was working. The lot was empty and the road was quiet. The air smelled of soot from ahead as it cooled me, but it was something that I started to love. I wanted more than those small, constricting walls.
Trees surrounded this part of city that bled into the suburbs. This little fraction of the city was perfect for me to hide myself. I left the entryway, entranced by the freedoms before me, and I crossed the lot to a batch of trees. Before I had a chance to even brush the leaves, a soft grunt called to me across the property.
I turned in hopes that it was not Savy but I knew that voice. His eyes pierced through the darkness, only a shadow against the oncoming light of a street lamp. They were like tiny Suns, seeming to radiate their own source of light. He stood slouching against the side of the building, and since he had an absence of voice, it lead me to believe that no one was here. He held a lone cigarette and a lighter as he flicked the flames.
Lighting the fire, I could catch the impression of his face: surprised and yet annoyed. "I never thought you'd work up enough nerve to leave on your own." He gripped the cigarette tightly between his teeth, relaxing after he put his metallic lighter away. He exhaled, savoring in the tobacco.
I didn't know how to respond, but since he wasn't yelling, I assumed he wasn't about to banish me to Tartarus. I looked from him to the trees, thinking of a place to make my escape if I needed to. He would want me to stay, and I'm sure he'd find some way of making me stay.
"Hm," he sighed aloud. "I feel like we would get along better if you just spoke to me more, you know? You begin to start feeling like a pet instead of a colleague."
"Sometimes, I just—" I paused to think. I never really found myself to be the talkative type, but does that seem weird to him? I also always just thought when I'm spoke to. Not like I've had anything to really say. "I just prefer to keep to myself." I shrugged to him, looking to the foggy crescent moon. The wind picked up, enticing a daydream of midnight flight, but Savy's words teased me.
"It feels nice. It's just the right temperature, unlike noon. The damn heat's just the worst. Be lucky you don't have to deal with those types of things, Veromos. Simplified life is something I'd like just about now." He sighed aloud and relaxed his face.
I furrowed my brows to the grass I floated above. Perhaps I wanted to feel what it's like, instead of being caged like a captive bird.
I don't have access to many experiences because of what I do. I've wanted to ride a train, I've wanted to enjoy a time at a casino, or I've even wanted to try simple fine-dining with other mortals. All these things are so simple, but I cannot go out into public. This same setting, grim as is, is busy, but it was never like I got to see or speak to the people. Well, living people that is. I guess I was only just about ending the life cycle to Savitar.
"Yeah. I guess I could get sunburned out there."
"I think it's nice you get out now and again, but I'm gonna put in faith that you weren't about to leave." I could hear his slow and choppy gait from behind, grinding the gravel underneath him. He released a relaxed sigh as he blew out another puff of smoke. "It would be a bitch to try to sneak in a tall-ass angel in front of mortals." He sized me up with his hand. "I don't know about two wings under a jacket or somethings, but the four of them? They'd look like some kind of deformed spine."
"I can hide them without clothing." I rolled my eyes and head into an annoyed frown.
Though I knew he was right, I still wanted to be free. It use to not be this way. We use to reign the world with the biggest names fearing our name. Helena, Caesar, you name it. We were a force to reckoned with, but now days were just a distant memory. It is still kind of the same as it use to be, but with Savitar's growing family, it didn't surprise me that Macaria was able to pull him into the mortal culture. Well, they think we don't exist anymore, but that was not Marcaria's intent. Savy's daughter became very interested in the mortal world, much like I use to be when I was her age. With newer generations comes some kind of change, I suppose. However, I did prefer the safety and comfort of the underworld. Everywhere was familiar there, with most spirits greeting me happily because of my services. Not only that, but I wouldn't dare be cursed at or disrespected; I was again feared. I didn't have anyone challenging my authority.
I huffed to him. I wasn't going to try to hide that I was going to leave; I yearned to go somewhere other than this city. We've I did the same thing with the paperwork, day in and day out. I really wanted to be in a place where I didn't have to hide myself and my appearance in some small storage closet. Though I was defying his rules, I didn't want to genuinely piss off Savitar. He was well known for his temper, and I've been victim to it before. I wasn't idiotic enough to get it to that point again, but I was still going to try to leave.
His still silence was calming, but yet unnerving. I felt like he was contemplating what to say or even what he was going to do.
Beside me, I turned to him. He was looking to the sky, dazed by the blank night. "Sometimes, I wonder what you're thinkin' about. This whole, 'silent protagonist' thing. I haven't even seen you with your brother; Styx even..." When his eyes met mine, I could say he wasn't angry. He had a soft expression; it seemed he was unwinding too. I looked to the floor and away from him.
I also thought about his question earlier. I honestly preferred not to speak; my words are always perceived the way I don't intend them to be. If I spoke my mind, I wouldn't want my words to have construed meanings. We've all been through better and worse, and I wouldn't want my opinion to drive all that away. I do feel Savitar could use my help once in awhile, though. He carries himself as if he never does, and he better be lucky he's got a daughter that can advise him. Savy can be a mess sometimes with his tunnel vision; so headstrong on what he's looking to do.
"What do you say you and I go inside? The sun's going to be rising soon, and I'm sure you and I could use some coffee." I wanted to leave, but coffee was tempting. With Savvy here, I doubt there was a way I could leave without making him angry.
"The humidity out here is gonna make today so damn hot." He grumbled. "Might as well enjoy the cool morning." I turned my back to him, unsure of what I was going to decide. I could just dart away now, but I definitely didn't want a bounty on my head. "Hmm?" Savvy's leaned to try to face me. "You tired? I kinda figured that's why you came out." He gave me sigh as he was heading towards the door. "Come on, we'll talk inside where it's not so [censored]' humid."
Maybe it was here I could finally tell him about how I felt about all this work. I've also never worked up the courage to tell him how fed up I was with this overworld nonsense. Flicking the bud down, he smothered it against the pavement, turning his back to me as he went inside. I did end up going back in with him in hopes he would listen.
Once inside, he led me to the office kitchen. He had on his flat face, both of us also in a nice silence. He filled the coffee pot and loaded the machine; I found the milk and sugar that I'd knew he'd ask for. My stomach was feeling itchy with hunger, so I also took some time to prepare toast and jam while we waited for the drinks. Strawberry was the perfect fit with coffee, though I knew Savy preferred more traditional pastries.
He got lost in the drops as they were collected in the pot below. He tasted his mouth several times while the soft light reflected off his dull leathery jacket. I set my toast across from where Savy would sit so we could speak face to face. Before I could reach to grab two mugs inside the cabinet across from the fridge, he was already there. He poured his own, and then mine, pot in hand. I reached out and took the pot from him while he took the plain mugs to the table. I sat with him, my stomach begging for the toast.
I hadn't noticed I was this hungry, but now that I thought about it, I didn't have dinner last night. I look to him before munching.
"Won't this keep us awake?" I questioned in my mind if he'd let me leave. Is he trying to keep me up longer with the coffee? Savy was already sipping happily, but I noticed he hadn't used the cream or sugar.
"Mm," he said with a mouthful of coffee. Pulling the mug away, he sat it to the side. "Not for me. It's almost like hot milk. I think I've drank it too much for it to even work on me anymore."
I pointed to the cream and sugar. "You never put any in." I felt a growing fire in my belly as our conversation continued. I was this hungry?
"I wanted to drink it black this time. You always do—" He stopped as I practically bit the toast in half. It was overly sweet, making it a brilliant contrast to this bitter drink. "Damn. Didn't think you were that hungry. You not eat anything last night?"
I shook my head as I swallowed. Though, I began to feel the encroaching pain slowly beginning to grow worse in my stomach.
"Hades," I said in a more serious tone. His eyes lit in surprise at the sound of his name. It was clear after downing the toast, this was not simple hunger. I grew still as I began to feel motion sick. I felt like I had been spinning for hours, and the nausea only started now and all at once.
"What's wrong, Thanatos? You look, ill all of a sudden." He gave a slight head tilt as he set down his coffee again. He crossed his hands underneath his chin in curiosity.
I leaned, resting my chin against the table. "I think it's about that time again." Though it shouldn't be! I had taken it only a month before. I started growing weary at the thought of it occurring more often.
He took a second to think about what I said; his face relaxed after sometime. He took another sip, tasting his lips afterward. Pushing his chair, he left the kitchen with a slow gait, turning around the corner.
I could feel the fire within me; its smoke clouding my mind. Besides my new raging hunger, I was also in need of sleep. My sensitivity to light was also because of this necessity. The pain lured me to fight sleep and it was also killing my urge to relax. When was Savitar coming back? He left a while ago it seemed. Was he coming back?
I began getting crazier thoughts of leaving satisfying myself on my own, though I knew I would become violent. I truly wasn't out to kill anyone, but as a minute or so passed that became a better and better idea in my head. Was I really this monster after all? Perhaps Olympus wasn't wrong to want to cage me.
I was trying to stand when he peaked back around the corner. My choppy breath subsided as I saw him, two glowing white vials in hand. Hades had my complete attention; his eyes were to the floor and away from mine. He slouched as he released his breath in again.
"You should really start keeping track of this." He fiddled in the drawer next to the entryway looking for something to open the vials. "You're gonna go out and do something you'll regret; there'll be nothing I could defend you with either."
I hung my head shamefully to subside his complaints, but in honesty, I cared nothing more than for him to hand me that vial.
He popped them open, tossing the corks away. I held my cup to him like a beggar and I took a few seconds to finally start blinking again. He poured half a vial into his, and the other half of that same vial into mine. I was entranced by how the silvery-white swirled into the coffee; for every loop, I became deep and deeper transfixed by it. Savitar's voice cut through my focus. He had the other vial when I looked to him, and he was attempting to pour the other into my cup as well. Of course, in this frame of mind I didn't protest. He turned to place the two vials in the sink afterward, and I did not hesitate to drink.
The concoction was bitter and stout, but the silver liquid acted as a smoothing force to the bitterness. It was acting almost like a cream, though the taste was more fruity. I took a minute to clear my head and to savor the drink while Savy also sat across from me in thought again.
"It seems the days here are getting longer." He swished his coffee like wine that was to be savored. "Even with Macaria here, the days are growing more lonesome. You of all people would agree, wouldn't you?"
It wasn't terribly lonesome like it use to be. Sure, talking with mortal souls was entertaining in its own right; I could scare them with tales of torture or soothe them with tales of the after life. It was my game to play, but I never exchanged words with close friends and family. My twin, Hypnos, shared some cases with me, but other than that, it was indeed lonely. In this situation, I've traded company for freedom and I'm not sure if it was well worth. Macaria has taken my place with the reaping and has left me to the paperwork. Who knew death required this much paperwork? Definitely not the job worthy of a god....
"I'd like to see more family, sure, but at least I see you and Marcy more often. I use to never see you. Perhaps you and I could enjoy a game of chess sometime like we use to when we found the time."
A smile creeped upon his face, but he quickly hid it behind a flat frown. "You know damn well I can't beat you at chess. Besides, I haven't touched that in centuries now and I have no interest in losing again."
"Come now," I lowered my head away playfully. "It's not that bad. To be honest, I'm not that great at the game. I bet Athena could easily win against me. It's her game after all." I genuinely smiled in what felt like forever since I had last done so. "I know you'd rather play polo, but you know I can't do riding horses."
"I remember when I convinced you that one time to try." His smile returned.
Yeah, it was not fun; it was awkward on top of the beast as I felt too tall to ride it. Not to mention, the beast was not happy letting the God of Death mount it's back. "Never again." The poor stallion was afraid to move.
A small shifting breeze changed the direction of our conversation. "So, you were about to leave here?"
"Yes." I told him flatly. "I swear my mind is melting, Savitar."
"You don't have to call me that with the mortals not around. It seems fruitless."
"I best get in the habit of doing so, because it would awkward if they heard me call you Hades. Hell, I'm just the janitor by image. It's bad enough some of the staff don't even know I'm even in that closet." I grumbled to him. The hum of the fridge was beginning to annoy me.
"Tell me, what here makes you want to leave? I know about the tight space, but is there something else?" The left side of his lips sank in the corner. "I know it's rough for you here, and perhaps I could have done things to make it easier sooner."
I'd say, though I never took him as the type to care about any of my situations. We've been in town for a while now. "I would say space is the main thing, but I would definitely appreciate some time to sleep. Oh, and a new light score of some kind. That hanging bulb makes the veins in my head strain." I shook my head. I'd also like some sort of entertainment like a radio or television of some kind. I felt like the world itself was leaving me to rot in that closet.
"I'll work on that, but Thanatos, you know there's not much time to spare when it comes to sleeping." Hades shook his head. "I've also been having to cut my hours short."
Though, I doubted Hades knew that most nights I never rested. "Yes, yes, important job, many pages to fill." I sighed as my shoulders sank.
In my mind I knew I wasn't going to to stay. I don't know why he seems set on with my work; paperwork was never necessary to his work or his daughter's and this is where I'm going to call it.
"I've been meaning to ask if your family has been," he paused briefly in search for something. "active..."
But I guess that would have to wait. This immediately changed me interests. "Active? What do you mean?"
"This might have nothing to do with you, never mind." He shook his head. He looked distastefully at his empty mug.
"No no," I blocked him from rising and brought his attention back to me once again. "What about my family?"
He attempted to silence me with his hands. "It's nothing. You know how Zeus gets when he sees one of you in Olympus; makes him nervous."
"My family is in Olympus?" That's odd. Most of us wouldn't bother going there. Only place that it's good for is either sparring or starting wars. Stupid wars. I gave a questionable head tilt to him who then sighed at me.
"I told you, nothing's wrong. Now sit and let it go." He rose, making way for another helping of coffee.
I wetted the corner of my mouth to remove the stickiness of jelly. I know he doesn't want me to ask but maybe he knows a little more than he lets on. "Do you know who it was? I might know why they came." I tempted his answer with false information. I'd have no idea why they would go to Olympus.
"I don't know, Thanatos, so don't ask again. There were two there though. I wasn't told by anyone really; I just so happened to hear it over the vine."
Two of them? It could be Eros, but that Greek Cupid was alway in Olympus with the beauty goddess, Aphrodite, gossiping. Perhaps it was my twin Hypnos and my Sister Nemesis. They wouldn't be an uncommon sight.
"Whatever it was, it wasn't that big of a deal. It's just not something that happens everyday."
I thought to the ground, and for the life of new, I could not think of a reason they'd head there. There could be bigger problems if the Kres or Erebus are involved. I'll just have to keep my ears out I guess, but being locked away won't help me see the early signs.
"Before you go, Thanatos, can you handle the last of the night's papers? You should have that much left, should you?"
Well I did take a small nap today at the desk so I was further behind than he realized. "I guess so." I frowned unhappily and my mind was already throwing its hissy fits in rebellion to my agreement.
"Well, I'm off then." The brown bags under his eyes stained the brim of his eyes. "Bout time I called it a night." After more comments about grabbing another cigarette and perhaps a sip of wine, Savitar left me staring at where he was sitting. There was a lot of things on my mind, but I couldn't help but to curse aloud at the realization I had agreed to work more.
'For [censored].' I shook my head. One again, I took the bait. I wasn't going to finish tonight, and more would just stack up right before I'd finish. Oh what I would give to back in time again to enjoy the world before all of... this... came to be.
I forced myself to stand as the chair's temptation lured me to sit and sleep. I trudged my way back to the closet once again; Savitar had cut the lights before he left, and the darkness only persuaded me more to rest. I fled from those bitter sweet forces and closed the door behind me. That little hanging bulb would keep me from sleeping; its annoying electric ticks and wavering lights were my only defenses.
I sat and when looking to what papers awaited me, I knew I was in for a long night. It couldn't take that long could it? Surely not. I've done this a million times before. Just like everyday before this one, right?
