thoughtless

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thoughtless

Postby VY2 » Wed Dec 13, 2017 6:51 pm


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Postby VY2 » Sat Jan 13, 2018 12:39 am

    dg inspired rambles
    rainy themed datemates, because i get lost in my head and pretty pictures
    tw: suicidal thoughts mention on manaka's short

    manaka
    they dont complain. mana never does, not about the weather.
    the sky is sea of grey. large, cold droplets soak the busy bodied people rushing over the coated bridge. i see them at the station, the rain having soaked their uniform to sheer, seemingly nonexistent fabric. their red skirt sticks to their thighs and the white blazer rudely revealed what should have been hidden. i don't have the energy to complain.
    they turn, and a pair of dull green eyes meet mine as their hand nudges their thick dark locks over their shoulder. i offer a hand to theirs, and they take it.
    "how long where you waiting?"
    my tone is harsh.
    mana bears a fake smile and hesitates. their eyes glance to our interlocked fingers for only a moment, as if guiltily noticing their burdens are mine too. i don't urge them to speak. once the rain settles in my hair and drips down my chin, they breath in.
    "i didn't even go to class." their voice cracks. " finnian, i just sat here in the rain all day."
    my hands starts to shake. mana's hands pull away.
    this isn't the first time this has happened, and it likely wouldn't be the last. hiding in the rain, i hear their sudden and soft sobs. i hastily wrapped my arms around them.
    sitting in the rain again today, my lover sat and peered into the icy water, wishing death. i couldn't say i haven't stood in the same place wishing the same for myself. i couldn't say it was a bad idea. during our midnight strolls, once or twice we had sat near the edge and hung our scared feet over the inevitable future, be it of our choice or not.
    our two lost souls clung to each other in the cold, and i guided my little light to the car with tears and rain dripping down my face again. all i knew was that i would take them home once more, and as long as we had each other, our melancholy lives would rotate around another. holding hands out in the rain near the familiar height, we could find ourselves in each other if only for a while.
    plagued by our anxiety and depression, walking hand in hand, we greeted tomorrow today, as if we were guaranteed tomorrow would come at all.

    //

    clarion
    he waits eagerly under the stormy sky. rain runs through his navy hair, but he keeps his eyes on me, completely unfazed.
    the ball we had been tossing was gripped by rough pale hands in the tan glove. his light blue jacket, nothing in comparison to his ocean eyes, fell lazily off his shoulders. along with the rest of the world, it was heavy with the rain.
    he walked slowly toward me. with the steps he took, the water dripped from his shorts. i sat under an old tree, and i had been trying to tear him away from this game every since the storm started. while his trained body could endure the chilly air, i cringed every time i was approached and noticed the streams down his body.
    the dark blue ears were soon bowing in front of me again, and like some sort of butler, he handed the baseball delicately out to me.
    i sighed. "if we keep playing, you'll slip and get seriously hurt, you know?"
    i knew he didn't care. this odd, obsessive boy stared right at me. naturally, an impish grin followed, and that navy tail flicked with a scheme. "yes," he nodded softly while leaning up from his bow. i knew he wanted to get injured, because it wouldn't effect him, but it'd just make me fuss over his wounds whether i rejected them first or not.
    i took his short reply as a 'no, we're not leaving yet. you don't have a say so', and waited for him to back further into the blue field. once he was what he deemed far enough, which wasn't far at all, his shoes dipped into a puddle. i began to call out, but he slapped his glove in anger at my movement.
    clarion had told me not to move from the shade; he didn't want the rain to touch me before he did, and that i couldn't get a fever.. yet. to explain my thoughts on that was as insane and confusing as his possible intentions.
    in the least, the game was simple. i threw the ball, he would catch it every time or have a quiet breakdown if he wasn't injured in success, than he would walk back to me without looking at anything else. and the cycle would live on. it was almost too intense, as if he was picturing me as prey each time he took a step toward me. like he was drunk off of something i couldn't understand.
    i had never been the greatest pitcher, but under his awkward gaze, i lunged forth my greatest throw yet. the blue shades on the clear field waved the white ball through the sky like a shooting star. a navy feline dove into the stunning waters to catch my far throw, and i jumped forward in shock as his small body shot the water up around him.
    now we've done it.
    i carefully ran and helped pull him from the water. he glared at it like a child, but once he had realized the ball was in his hands and i was at his side, he began laughing, and i did too.

    //

    nerine
    "like this," rin pressed my hands together and jabbed my side with a sharp nail. "and we bow, got it? let's do it properly this time."
    i couldn't say i had got it down quite yet, this peculiar dance the princess insisted on teaching. i opened my mouth to request another practice, but before i could, her eyes fluttered shut and her arms spread gracefully to the sky. my jaw quickly closed, and i mimicked her elegant movements.
    a few moments passed between us dancing in the blue water, and we came to a close. blue hair fell over her dark shoulders as she bowed.
    while she kept her eyes closed, i snuck peeks at the tranquil atmosphere she emitted, feeling helplessly lost in her otherworldly plea.
    the waves at our ankles began to rise over the rocks. the brilliant blue above us applauded her with a thundering roar. cold drops began to sport our still bodies. my emotions caught in my throat, i couldn't find the words. a sudden chill down my spine brought me to my senses, and i gasped.
    our rain dance had seemed to work.
    something about her brought tears to my eyes, and i realized her energy draining by the moment. the slick rocks that surrounded us where attacked with foam and angry waves. a princess or not, as she opened her eyes, she fell submissively to her knees into the salt water.
    "nerine!"
    knowing fear flashed like lightning. i immediately dropped to her side to pick her up. perhaps it was the adrenaline, but any weakness i had seemed to vanish. i held her close to my body as she detached her mind from the fatigue and set her calmly on the shore.
    most of the visiting crowd ran from the raging sea. only a few risked stopping to check our status.
    i waved them off when her hand tugged at my shorts.
    "did i order you to touch me?" she asked as she covered her eyes with the other hand. she didnt try to move.
    the tide only licked the soles of her feet. morphing around us, careful to not pull our bodies away, the water was like a mad dog circling it's owner.
    "you could have drowned, or got hurt."
    a small smile surfaced her face. her hand tapped the long gash on my leg, spilling blood into the white sand and staining her skin. i didn't notice it before. it didn't hurt until her nail pieced the red.
    nerine attempted to sit up, rolling the blue and green material from her arms. "but now im ordering you to take my jacket and carry me." a weak hand kept her up as i wrapped the wound without questions. my arms dipped under her knees and shoulders. we left like that, feeling the weight of reality tear us from the ocean.


    //

    shiori
    i'm not one to smile much, but even in the cold, if i was with her, it was warm.
    we were spending an evening at the beach when a light shower had her running from the ocean's waves and back to the sand. her magenta eyes screamed in excitement, and she began giggling to herself.
    "look! it's raining so much, can you believe it?" she spins in the sand with her arms out, and i cant keep myself from laughing with her. she seems to be doing something of an excited dance. "look at me! do you see it?"
    i nod and start packing our things.
    it's the small things that make her happy. she's so childish sometimes, it reminds me to smile despite it all. for her.

    //

    yenesei
    standing on the orange horizon, his voice calls out suddenly, "we should go home."
    somehow, the tangerine clouds had rotted to a dark grey. we had intended to spend a day out, a day out both of us where usually uncomfortable with, and it only seemed to bring us darkness.
    i felt guilty looking at the stray's girlish swimsuit. no one questioned it from afar, but to anyone approaching us, his hidden red eyes would stare until they claimed physical pain disabling them from conversation.
    a simple blue shirt was over my torso, but the white, tied in the back on him, shown what i knew as a binder and what others assumed a custom suit. he enjoyed being outside, but being to his own devices for so long, he would only rarely and hesitantly ask me of his worries or feed his questioning mind. he was embarrassed and wanted to appear stronger.
    i quietly saw through his mask.
    the long scars on his face spoke more than his smile when were where under the uncomfortable sky. we were trying to change these things about us, to just get over it in some kind of attempt to speak to another each other. i learned to read the awkward air when he was at a loss, i wanted to understand. it was a slow process.
    once i noticed the sand being kicked over my toes and the snow white ears shoved into my shoulder, i attempt to push back his long white hair, but yen ducks under my hand and walks to the car with a scowl.
    today was unlike the others spent energetically at home. it was just one of those days.
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Postby VY2 » Mon Jan 22, 2018 3:09 pm

    46 manaka jan 18
    something i think about a lot. this isnt a pretty topic.

    he fantasized of putting a silver bullet through the lightheaded fox who kissed his husband. it was simply engraved in the fiends culture, and manaka knew this, tapping the black weapon under the desk with his nimble fingers.
    the thin, navy hair brushing over his shoulders would slap against the wood as maliciously peered at the canines from across the store. his raw, shredded, ginger stripped ears would twitch in agitation. the uneven glasses, falling down the bridge of his narrow nose, would flicker as the muscles in his face altered his skin and threatened a possessive cry. they leaned in for a friendly hug.
    it was hard to keep friends in this troubled society. they must have been so grateful. maybe they where crying.
    his left hand, while his eyes slipped into a distant universe, strangled the gun.
    the safety was turned off. it was always off while the lovers lived with their shop under the collapsing building in their hellbent and warring world. when jin answered the door, manaka slipped behind the counter if he wasn't already. jin was simply more prepared for physical attacks. manaka, falling into a dangerous autopilot, could not handle violence to his loved ones. he could not handle seperation. he was ordered to shoot jin, and than himself, if they where attacked and they where loosing.
    this, his husband pressed against another and crying with joy, felt like an attack.
    something in him said, im loosing him, again. something subconscious screamed, this wouldn't have happened if you had killed them earlier. something illogical made his hand shake as his fingers moved toward the trigger, saying, there is nothing to live for here. he is defying me, yet i abducted him. liars. lying. mine mine mine. i deserve this, i deserve it, i deserve him, so why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why-
    the gun hit the side of the wood, and the feline curled over the side of the table and inhaled all of the oxygen in the room before he screamed out in agony.
    it was a raw expression from the center of his being.
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Postby VY2 » Fri Feb 02, 2018 7:52 pm

    unsteady hands held a branch of cotton. they where eye candy around the fireplace with stuffing hiding deep in their miniature caskets.
    my nails dug their graves and pried the lids to reveal a soft ball of fluff to the fire's warmth.
    while grave digging was an easy task on most days, just outside of the living room window stood a man with a rifle a third of his height.
    i pretended not to notice. my back faced the windowed wall and i continued digging into the corpses.
    the branch of bodies was sturdy.
    the bodies, naturally rebelling, were weak.
    four caskets down from the tip, my fingertips snagged the body with a hook and hastily slapped it onto the bricks. it would no longer stand with its siblings lined neatly as a decoration. the fact i had volunteered for this petty task filled me with dread as i failed the grim job once again.
    soft rain tapped the window. the rifle tapped the window.
    eyes straight, eyes on the hidden bodies. the fire hissed as i shifted a log and pushed my mistakes into them.
    i was simply doing gods work as he stood in the yard with a scope pointed to my laced ribcage.
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