(by me) My intention never was to be a hero. I had never dreamed of it, never wanted it, never wished to be known. My parents had always told me to dream small. That was safer. Living with low expectations would save me from a lot of letdowns.
So I listened. But probably not in the way they had planned.
With my dreams crushed and my hopes lowered, I turned to a darker and more dangerous side of life. I stole my first item when I was twelve. It was a potato at the market. The thought crossed my mind as mother and I passed the cart. It was so simple and so straightforward that before I knew it, I had reached up and grabbed it. No one saw, not even mother. A strange feeling of satisfaction came over me in that moment. There was a trickle of guilt, of course, but mostly pride. I had accomplished something. I had actually taken the potato and not a single person saw. It felt...amazing.
The guilt would be something that faded over time. Morality has little place in a life of crime, although, I do have some morals. Everyone has to. If you don't, you ain't human. Or whatever species you are.
Both my parents worked around the clock in order to support our family, so they never really took the time to teach me about, well, life. All I knew was what I saw, and what a child sees can vary widely from what an adult does. Through my eyes, the world was a terrifying place. My dad repaired broken down ships and transportation vehicles, and the job was highly unpredictable. Working on things as large and as touchy as he did was dangerous. My mother worked hard in her bakery, as well. The old business had been in our family for generations, and when my dad wasn't working at his job, he'd go help mom. I spent so many hours during my childhood at that bakery...
Nevertheless, my parents slaving away was not the only thing I picked up. The people I grew up around all had the same resounding mindset: everyone is responsible for their own selves, and if they cannot provide, they must suffer. Obviously, the people of my village were not the most selfless creatures. So provide I did. After successfully stealing for the first time, I began to snag bigger things. At first, it was just food. Then it turned into sneaking people's bags and money off the streets. I turned over all my earnings to my family, telling them I'd gotten a job at a small shop a few blocks over. Giving everything I stole to them almost made the guilt go away. Whenever I took something, I told myself it was all for them. The two people who always worked so hard to provide for me.
Fast forward a year. I'm getting pretty good at this thing, right? I managed to just meet a monthly earning of 200 Parvels (the currency used on my home planet). It wasn't much, but it was enough to keep my family going. I kept a secret stash of extra money under my mattress in my room, just in case. My parents never suspected a thing.
Well, until they did.
On one of my father's days off (which were quite rare), he said he wanted to see me work. It made him so proud that I was keeping a steady income.
"I dunno," I said. Come on. Just think of an excuse already. "My boss doesn't really like people hanging around and watching."
"Oh, I'll only be there a minute," he said, beaming. "I just want to see where my little son works so hard." He pulled me closer and slung an arm over my shoulder, giving me a noogie.
I swallowed. Hard. "Okay." Okay? Seriously, Cade? Why would you agree to this? There was no job for you to take him to. He was gonna find out. Today was gonna be the day. I could feel it. Nevertheless, we got ready and left the house, walking steadily down the street. Father was practically radiating excitement, looking every which way and wondering which shop we would stop at. I kept walking, growing more nervous by the second. I had to think of something, quick. Squeezing my eyes shut, I ducked into the next shop, dad trailing behind. Breathing in, I let out a sigh of relief. A bookstore. And the best part? No one was here.
Father's eyes lit up. "How wonderful! What a great way to learn." He patted me on the head. "Not only are you working, but you read too, I'm sure." I nodded vigorously. Actually, I couldn't read. Neither mom nor dad were very good readers or writers, so they couldn't teach me. Huh? School? Yeah, we didn't have any of those on my planet. Not in the area I lived in, anyway. It was all about class and experience there.
"Well, you saw it. You should go," I said quickly, motioning toward the door.
He laughed. "I want to see you in action!"
"I just organize the shelves, dad," I muttered. "It's nothing exciting."
"Hey!" He wasn't listening. In fact, he was waving down a worker. Oh crud. "You know my son, yeah?" Crud, crud, crud.
The worker looked confused. "I don't believe so, sir."
Father's face contorted. "You must see him around often." I had to get out of here, or I'd be in
huge trouble. Where's the nearest escape route? If I slip around dad, I could probably make it to the door in about four seconds. "He works here after all."
"I...he doesn't work here." He frowned at me.
Dad's smile faded. "There...must be some mistake." The worker shook his head. My eyes bulged and I set my plan in action. Barrelling towards the door, I was just about to shove it open when he grabbed me by the tail. I let out a shriek as I slipped and fell to the ground, knocking my chin on the wood. Dad winced. It looked like he was battling over helping me up and asking me if I was okay, and pounding me further into the ground. Of course, he managed to find a third option. Snatching my paw, he pulled me up and gave me a stern look. "Home.
Now."
The walk home was a long and silent one. When we arrived, he sat me down on my bed and we stared at each other for five minutes and thirty-two seconds. I counted in order to calm myself down. "Why did you lie to me?" He broke the silence. His tone wasn't angry, exactly. More like disappointed. Hurt, even. I fixed my gaze on my oozing paw pads, a strange defect I'd had since I was born. "Okay. Where did you get the money, then?" Still, I gave no response. I couldn't. I couldn't tell him the truth. "
Cade."
"I..." My eyes looked everywhere except for him. "I can't...I don't know."
He raised his eyebrows. "You don't know?" I nodded. "Hm. So, you don't know where all the money you gave us came from?" Another nod. Okay, so maybe he wasn't buying it. "Do you work somewhere else? That's okay, there is no need to be ashamed of whatever it is."
I shook my head. I'd just let him figure it out himself. I just couldn't bring myself to say those words.
"Have you been trading for it? Perhaps doing favors in return for money?" He studied me carefully. I looked away again. Suddenly, his expression darkened. "Cade, get up."
Now I met his eyes. "W-what? Why?"
"Stand up. Now." I gulped and got up, walking away from the bed. It hit me that I used to hide things under my bed when I was little. Usually dinner that I didn't want to eat. My mom always said that was a pain to clean up. Father knelt and peeked under my bed, scanning the shadows for any sign to prove his prediction. When he couldn't find anything, he stood up again. I almost thought I was in the clear. Then he tore the sheets and pillows off my bed and lifted the mattress with his paws. His eyes widened. In that moment, I knew I had made a mistake. I had hurt him, betrayed him. He pushed the mattress onto the floor and gazed down at the array of objects, speechless. That stash of "extra" money? Well...it wasn't just money. Wallets and handbags littered the mount of cash and coins. I held my breath in the corner and watched him. Watched his eyes water and the tears fall. Watched him fall to his knees and just stare. Stare at what I'd done.
"Cade," he whispered, almost so quiet I didn't hear him. "What have you done?"
When my mother came home that night, they had one of their "private talks." Of course, our house was so small I could hear them in their room. At first it was just inaudible whispers, hushed tones. Then they started yelling. Arguing. I heard mom burst into tears at one point. I wasn't sure if it was because of me or because dad was angry. Then he started crying. After an hour or so, they fell silent. I remember crying myself to sleep that night. Part of it was because I was terrified of what they thought of me. But the other part of it was because I didn't feel guilty. I didn't feel bad about anything I'd stole, not a single cent.
And that was what scared me.
(by me) Wind tore at my fur as I went against it, the rain pelting me with everything it had. It was like the storm had a personal grudge against me. Sirens sounded in the distance, barely audible above the howling wind. They were after me. Everyone was after me. The police, the neighbors, every store I'd ever robbed, even the gang on 34th Street was out to get me. There was only one place I could think of, but first, I had to get there.
The wind pushed and pulled as I went around the back of the small house. Even after years, they still lived here. I checked up on them every now and then to make sure they were okay. Without their knowledge, of course. I opened the window to my bedroom, which I had always kept unlocked as a kid just in case my imaginary friends came to visit, and dove inside. Quickly, I slammed it shut and flicked the lock. My heavy breathing pierced the silence as a puddle of water formed around me. My back began to sting and ache and I let out a gasp. As I dug my claws into the floor in an attempt to stop the pain, my wings finally molded themselves back into my body. When they had, I let myself collapse on the floor. Every bone in my body screamed with pain. I'd been running against the storm for who knows how many miles, and those darn wings had decided to pop out about halfway through.
Still had no idea how to control those things. It hurt like hell every time they formed.
A light flickered in the corner of my eye and I froze. There was no way the power was up and running with that crazy thing blasting outside. Irrational fears flickered through my head at a hundred miles per hour. Had they tracked me here? How come I didn't hear them come inside? There was no way they could have seen me hide here. Maybe it was the grim reaper, coming to take me away to face my final judgement. All those thoughts dissipated as soon as I heard his voice. "What are you doing here?" Bitterness laced my father's tone. The light was coming from a candle he was holding. It cast a soft glow over the room, brightest at his face. His expression looked just as bitter as his voice sounded.
With a grunt, I pushed myself off the ground and faced him. "Sorry to burst in." I wasn't sorry at all, actually, thanks. "Kind of in a rush. Hope you don't mind." The sarcasm dripped from my voice in the same way the shimmery goop constantly oozed from my mouth. He said nothing as I brushed past him into the living room and plopped myself down onto the couch with a wet squish. "I see you've redecorated. Cleaned up the cobwebs." I gazed around the dark room. "That's nice. Where's mom?"
"Asleep." Dad said nothing else as he crossed the room and sat himself down on the sofa across from me. I leaned back into the cushions and put my feet up on the table, just to bother him even more. He hated feet on the furniture. Always had. "I'm not going to repeat myself, Cade. What are you doing here?"
"Not even a hello?" His expression was motionless. I let out an exaggerated sigh. "Alright. I'm hiding here just for a bit."
I was unfazed by his stern gaze. Nothing had been the same after he'd caught me that first time so many years ago. The morning after he'd talked it over with mom, we had a nice long chat about stealing. How it was wrong and could lead to dangerous consequences. Unfortunately, I shoved down any guilty feelings I'd had on the subject deep down into the depths of my soul. The only thing that kept me from continuing on my pick-pocketing spree was my parents. I hated seeing them sad, especially if I was the cause of it. I wanted them to be happy. They deserved it. So I stopped.
But only temporarily.
A year or so later, I picked up my old habits again. I was thirteen, nearly fourteen, and was currently working at my parents' bakery. I spent my free time swiping and shoplifting. I kept it under wraps for a while before I again started to fork over the money to my parents. They needed it, desperately. We were going to lose our property to the government if we couldn't pay it off, and there was barely enough money for any basic necessities. This kept up for a few months or so before they started to realize what was going on. By then, however, I was too far gone. I was in a "rebellious phase" as my parents put it. Except unlike a phase, it never stopped. They kicked me out of the house as soon as I hit eighteen, and I'd been stealing ever since.
Usually, I worked alone. Joining up with others was much too risky. Betrayals and whatnot. You know, all the horrible gang stuff you hear about in the paper, except it actually happens. At one point I was in a gang, but I stole a huge portion of their profits and fled. Yeah, I stay away from that part of town now. Sometimes people will hire me for their dirty work, but those jobs are few and far between. Like I said, I almost always work alone, and only for myself. Especially since my parents refused any money from me.
"You think I'm just going to let you stay?" Dad's voice broke my train of thought. You can only guess how horribly ruined our relationship was. Mom seemed to have some sympathy for me, but I'm sure dad hated me with the burning passion of a thousand suns.
I shrugged. "What are you gonna do if I don't leave?"
"I could call the police."
"Phone's out."
Dad's eyes flashed. "You
do understand what you're wanted for." I frowned and leaned forward a bit, my heart rate picking up. He'd heard? Of course he had. Who hadn't? That's why I was running. That's why I was
here, of all places. Before I could begin to explain, the word rolled off his tongue. That horrible, ugly word. "
Murder."
Of course, I was completely innocent, but no one believed me. And I doubted dad would be the first. "It wasn't me," I said anyway.
"You were
there!" His voice had suddenly risen. I flinched. Yes, I was there. That doesn't make me the damn culprit.
"Yeah, I was. So?" I tried to remain as nonchalant as possible, partially to bother him. Mostly to keep myself calm.
Dad was seething. "Never in all my life would I have thought my child would be capable of such a thing. Yet here we are, talking about the very subject!" He leaned in. The candle wavered. "Why'd you do it, hm? Money? Did someone hire you?" He was just inches from my face now. "Or were you settling a score with someone who had
wronged you."
I grit my teeth. Stay calm. Freaking out does nothing. "I already told you.
I didn't do it."
Suddenly, his eyes filled with tears. I was
not expecting that. "How am I supposed to believe you?" His voice broke, and for a split second, I thought I saw the father I once knew. The one who had always held me and told me everything would be okay, told me I was a hard worker. That I was smart. The father who had loved me and cared for me. And then...he was gone. Replaced by this broken man before me. "After everything you've done. How can I believe you?"
There was a knock at the door and he snapped his gaze up. They were here. They were coming for me. I sprang off the couch and towards the far wall, where my bedroom was. He watched me with some mixture of pain and sadness. "You'll just have to trust me," I said before turning and running towards my room's window. I heard my dad open the door. Say I was "just in the other room." But before they could catch me, I was gone.
That was the last time I ever saw my dad.