Important Meeting wrote:The mentor that stood in front of them wore a stern look on his face. He let out a deeply troubled sigh before speaking. "Look, if you all fight like that on the battlefield, you won't stand a chance. Yes, we stand for absolute peace, but this doesn't mean that we won't have to protect ourselves or the ones we need to keep safe. I don't like inflicting pain on others just as much as the other average joe, but I volunteered for this position. We all did. It's either do or die, and right now we're all dying if this keeps up," he said, pacing back and forth across the floor, looking up at the volunteer's faces every now and then. They stood still as the soldiers they were, intently listening to every word the older man had to say. Glass felt embarrassed, for he knew that he was part of the group who made severe mistakes during training.
He couldn't help himself; he had never attacked another person before, especially not physically. He didn't think he would have to either, especially since he wanted to promote peace and hope around the world. Now knowing that learning how to be on the defensive was startling to him, but he also knew that he needed to complete this lesson. It would either be life or death, and he couldn't tolerate knowing that he could easily fail someone else who desperately needed him just because he was afraid to fight back. But still, nevertheless, he struggled. He couldn't wrap his mind around the idea of using his physical strength to put someone down. While the Peace Corps did provide nonlethal weapons for their soldiers to use in combat, there was always a small, but highly real, chance that they would have to depend on what was around them. That was what Glass was terribly afraid of.
"Let's try this again; soldiers, I want you all to practice grabbing, disarming, and throwing your opponent on the ground. You all should do this without any mercy; hesitating even a little bit could cost you your life," said the teacher, crossing his arms. "And don't try to get too fancy about it either. This isn't the movies, this is real life; style points won't get you anywhere here."
Glass stared at the volunteer in front of him. They both were crouching in a readied pose with their hands in front of them, waiting for each other to see who would act first. They circled each other; Glass could feel himself get more nervous with every step, but he could also sense that the other person training with him was getting more tense as well. She was much taller than he was, and he was concerned that he wouldn't be able to actually throw her down and pin her. She lunged first at Glass and tried to grab the prop knife from his waist, causing him to stumble back and fall onto his bum. He felt even more embarrassed now; this was the fourth time that day that he had completely failed like this.
"Soldier!" The mentor was clearly upset; he began to fume. "Get off your butt this instant and learn to be brave. Else, you can go ahead and leav-" Before the teacher could finish his sentence, he was abruptly cut off by a female's voice. Everyone went absolutely quiet as they spun around on their heels to salute whoever was approaching. He stood completely still as well, looking ahead of him and completely ignoring Glass. It was the chief of the Peace Corps; she was making her way down the stairs into the training area.
"Telling our volunteers to fortify won't do them any good. You're dismissed; it's clear that you're stressed out about the training. I'll take care of it from here on out for today," Camira said, walking steadily towards the front. The mentor had excused himself and walked out. The soldiers, however, continued to keep the chief in their gazes as she made her way through. Glass felt his worry grow inside of him as she came closer to where he was; he began to physically shake as he tried his best to keep saluting the chief.
"You can all relieve yourselves as well; there's no need to salute for that long, soldiers," she said, beginning to stretch out her arms and legs in preparation of leading the lesson. She wore a bright and happy smile on her small face as she did so, as if she really did want to teach. "Go right ahead and continue on with practicing, soldiers. If you're struggling, I'll come over to personally assist you."
Glass frowned to himself. He was worried that Camira would see how bad he was at this whole self defense thing, and he didn't want to lose his position as a soldier in the Peace Corps. He had worked too hard to just give up everything now. He and his partner got back into the same position to continue practicing; this time, however, Glass started the attack, attempting to grab the fake knife his partner had pulled out to use in the training simulation. He was able to successfully knock the knife out of her hands, but when it came to detaining her and throwing her onto the ground, Glass froze. He picked her up and was readying to throw her flat onto the ground on her back, but he froze completely, allowing his partner to break out of his grasp and throw him on the floor instead. Glass let out a loud oomph as he felt his body hit the concrete flooring hard.
Camira and his partner crouched down to check if he was alright. They both extended their hands out to him, helping him get back up off the cold, hard floor. He dusted himself off and rolled his neck, attempting to get rid of the pain that throbbed there. "Why did you hesitate there, soldier?" Camira asked Glass as she moved him off to the side. She assigned his partner another teammate to train with for now.
"I just can't bring myself to hurting someone else. They're my allies, and they're living beings too," Glass replied simply. It was the absolute truth; he couldn't dare to hurt someone who he knew was innocent. He couldn't even think of hurting a potential enemy, as he feared that he could be completely wrong in his thinking. He needed to know if the threat in front of him was actually a threat and not a false alarm. Besides, even if he did figure it out in time to defend himself, he would rather flee instead of fight.
"That's understandable. I appreciate that you're as hesitant as you are to hurt your fellow soldiers. At the same time, however, you need to be prepared to save your allies' lives too. You don't want to harm them yourself, but if you are all put into a predicament where everyone has to defend each other, you can't just stand on the sidelines," Camira said, pushing a lock of hair out of her face. "If you do, you'll put yourself in danger, and everyone else that you care about will get hurt in the process as well. While you're not causing them pain by your own hands, you are still directly hurting them by not being there for them. It's a difficult thing to decide between, but trust me; you'll be doing a lot more harm than good if you're too timid during a fight."
"I know that chief, but it's just difficult to do so. I don't know if practicing will even help me when it comes down to a situation I need to use it for," Glass said, sounding completely upset. "More than likely, I'll just end up breaking down and panicking, just like I do currently. But, at the same time, I don't want to quit the Peace Corps even though I'm afraid of getting my allies hurt because of my actions."
"Trust me, soldier. When it comes down to it, all the practice that you've done won't help you completely. It's still nerve wracking for me to this very day. Practice will only help your body react when it needs to, but it doesn't meant that you'll always react the way that you want to," replied Camira, walking around him. "If you get even the smallest reaction at all, that's enough for me and everyone else. The smallest effort is still effort, soldier, and it can make the biggest difference. You're practicing to freeze up right now instead of practicing to force yourself to follow through."
Glass blinked, stunned by her words. She was right; he was teaching himself to continue to cower and stop what he was doing instead of actively trying to prevent it. He was letting himself fail all this time.
"Your grip on her was excellent, and the way that you knocked her weapon out from her hand was clean. You could have thrown her and pinned her down, but you began to overthink your actions, correct?" Camira asked the younger viscet, stopping in front of him. "From here on out, I'll be your training partner, soldier. I can't let you have a say on this decision, so I do hope you're fine with it. You're allowed to do your absolute worse, alright?"
Glass froze completely once more. To train with the chief? He had heard that she often trained with the other soldiers who asked during her spare time, but he never thought that she would actually demand that he train with her. He snapped back to reality and saluted her firmly, albeit feeling quite terrified of the situation he was now in.
"We'll go easy today, but next week, I expect you to put in 110% of your effort into the training," Camira said, attempting to reassure him. It wasn't the best attempt, as he didn't know if she was joking about the latter part of her sentence. He smiled awkwardly as he readjusted himself into the stance they were using for the training session for that lesson. She mirrored his movements and did the same. She grabbed an extra fake prop knife from the nearby table before motioning him with her free hand to begin.
He let out a light sigh. Glass knew that this was going to be difficult, and he knew that this was going to be a long few months of training. He rushed towards Camira, knocking the knife out of her hands, and throwing himself into her in an attempt to knock her down onto the ground. The impact was hard, causing him to stumble back quite far from the chief, but he was surprised to see that she stumbled too. Immediately a wave of regret washed over him.
"Hey, don't go regretting your decisions now, soldier. You can only act once, so think hard and make your decisions prior to acting," Camira said as she straightened herself back out. "Besides, it's no use to feel guilty over something you can't change. You can apologize and feel bad all you want, but it won't change the situation, at least not when you're battling someone else."
Glass nodded, trying to keep Camira's words in his mind. Perhaps her tips would help him succeed. At the same time, he couldn't shake the terrible feelings from his being. This was going to be a difficult change, and he wasn't sure if it's entirely something that he wanted. He just went along with it so he could stay in the Peace Corps and help other people out; he just hoped that he didn't have to use it in a real environment.