❛ the lazy writers ❜ V2

[scoopyfrog]

Do you like it's a good or bad idea to start the story off from the not-quite-main-character's prospective to create a bit of mystery?:
I think it's fine to have a story that switches perspectives. However, you have to make sure it's done with purpose. Readers are going to be wondering why the perspectives were changed, and if the character whose perspective was first shown isn't a main focus of the plot or conflict, or if their actions in the opening don't tie in to anything important, it won't make sense and they may be confused. Mystery is always great, just make sure it's played off well.

[Ranger of the North]

Did you like my story opening? Does it make you want to read more?
YES. 'Twas a great opening! Good job C:


Anything I could improve on (does anything seem off, boring, grammar mistakes, etc)?
It seemed well-paced to me; not off, not boring; but there were a few grammatical errors c: Mainly paragraphs, though, which are easy to fix! The rules for creating a new one is when you move to a new speaker, a new topic, a new place, or a new time! I also noticed a couple spots where you used a comma instead of a semicolon, or vice versa, but it was only once or twice c: (And I didn't stop to check whether it was wrong, or just my personal preference; I wanted to keep reading XD But I'm happy to go back and check, if you'd like c: )


Guys. Read Teya's piece. cx

[Yubel Fated]

Did you like my story opening? Does it make you want to read more?:

Actually yes it does. To be honest, it's an interesting way to set up what I assume you have planned. A good way of introducing the main character, the conflict, starting questions, tying off what we need to know. Its all beautiful. Tied up in a neat little package.



Anything I could improve on (does anything seem off, boring, grammar mistakes, etc)?:

Like Ranger's already said. Paragraphs maybe a bit of punctuation.

The only thing that was really glaring at me at any point was the use of breathe instead of breath. Which is really easy to misspell and look over. But otherwise everything else looks mighty fine.



Do you think it's a good or bad idea to start the story off from the not-quite-main-character's prospective to create a bit of mystery?:

Honestly, it can go either way. It's not necessarily a good or a bad thing in itself... Its uh.. More of a grey area than anything. If you can make it work do it. If it makes sense do it.

The only really good advice I can give you is write what you want to read. Do what you think is fun. Experiment.

If done good starting stories like this make everything more questionable. In a good way not in a bad one. It starts the questions in their head that are bound to circulate into theories you hadnt even thought of.

If done bad then it can leave the readers confused and lost within the story before you've even started.

I honestly believe you've done the former rather than the latter. So great job and keep writing :3

[~Teya~]

@KawaiiPanda58

Hehe, I'm happy you liked Harmosa <3 I've always adored her markings as well ;0; --And yes, they're Kajika, aka Hok'ee, his real name C:

I've done stories that switch views every chapter as well, actually ! cx
And huh, that's an interesting story, never read it though. ;u;

@antiqeel

I think the way I did it will definitely have a purpose, thanks for the advice!

@Ranger of the North

eee thank you<33

I went over it again and (I think) fixed most of the misspelling errors =D
Oh hecc, paragraphs just aren't my friend. xD I've been TRYING to keep the "new speaker, new topic, new time, or new place" in mind ever since you told me it in.. what? September, when I finished PSG? Gosh, and I still have a hard time with it. xD
And yeah! If you think I did a wrong comma or semi somewhere, I'd love to know C: Maybe you could show me where I paragraph'd wrong, too XD

@Flame Alchemist

Ahh thank you. XD I'm not used to such praise, tbh ;u; I just hope the judge feels the same way you do! c:

I SUCK at paragraphs, I kinda just do them when I feel like it.. it's a super bad habit, I'm trying to improve, though!
OH MY GOSH, THANK YOU FOR POINTING THAT OUT. That mistake was literally in the first sentence !! I don't know how I missed it???? It'd suck for someone's first impressions of the story to be an annoying grammar mistake!

Thanks for the advice And I certainly will! >:D

Hehe.. hey guys :3 Thanks, all those who responded ! I love feedback, seriously, it's how I improve!
I finished chapter one.. I don't want to keep crowding my posts with long stuffz, that may get annoying to some of you, so, if you want to read it and give me s'more feedback, click here for chapter one!

k.. gonna go now.. it's midnight, I need sleep. XD

[Ranger of the North]

@Ranger of the North

eee thank you<33

I went over it again and (I think) fixed most of the misspelling errors =D
Oh hecc, paragraphs just aren't my friend. xD I've been TRYING to keep the "new speaker, new topic, new time, or new place" in mind ever since you told me it in.. what? September, when I finished PSG? Gosh, and I still have a hard time with it. xD
And yeah! If you think I did a wrong comma or semi somewhere, I'd love to know C: Maybe you could show me where I paragraph'd wrong, too XD

Oh, so I had already given you that big spiel XD My bad, it's hard to remember XD But never fear, I have noticed improvements! It took me /ages/ to get the hang of them when I was first taught 'em c;
Oki doki, I'll try to remember to do that tomorrow! C:


YEET! Camp Nano's coming up, who's excited?! Would anyone be interested in joining a cabin for Chicken-Smoothie-writers-in-general? C:

[~Teya~]

@Ranger of the North

eee thank you<33

I went over it again and (I think) fixed most of the misspelling errors =D
Oh hecc, paragraphs just aren't my friend. xD I've been TRYING to keep the "new speaker, new topic, new time, or new place" in mind ever since you told me it in.. what? September, when I finished PSG? Gosh, and I still have a hard time with it. xD
And yeah! If you think I did a wrong comma or semi somewhere, I'd love to know C: Maybe you could show me where I paragraph'd wrong, too XD

Oh, so I had already given you that big spiel XD My bad, it's hard to remember XD But never fear, I have noticed improvements! It took me /ages/ to get the hang of them when I was first taught 'em c;
Oki doki, I'll try to remember to do that tomorrow! C:


YEET! Camp Nano's coming up, who's excited?! Would anyone be interested in joining a cabin for Chicken-Smoothie-writers-in-general? C:

I've never participated in Nano before, what's it like? :0

[Ranger of the North]

YEET! Camp Nano's coming up, who's excited?! Would anyone be interested in joining a cabin for Chicken-Smoothie-writers-in-general? C:

I've never participated in Nano before, what's it like? :0

In my experience, at least, usually fun? But it can be stressful, depending on what goals you set cx But the goals are adjustable for, Idk, half the month or something like?

[TheSongOfTheStars]

They changed it so you can change your goals right up till it ends

[Ranger of the North]

They changed it so you can change your goals right up till it ends

Really!
I don't remember that; gosh, that's reassuring XD

[~Teya~]

YEET! Camp Nano's coming up, who's excited?! Would anyone be interested in joining a cabin for Chicken-Smoothie-writers-in-general? C:

I've never participated in Nano before, what's it like? :0

In my experience, at least, usually fun? But it can be stressful, depending on what goals you set cx But the goals are adjustable for, Idk, half the month or something like?

I might give it a try !