♛ - an eternal conundrum - ♛

[King Andre]

" i'd be content for eternity. Is it too much to ask of you,
to weather this storm with me? "

[King Andre]

why do you make my life so difficult?

I want to like you. You're sweet and kind.

You've been nothing but a genuinely nice person to me for as long as I've known you.

You've stuck up for me when no one else would. And I've done so for you. We understand each other.

And if im being quite honest, I don't fault you for a lot of the things other's condemn you for.

Being the devils advocate I am, I'm not as quick to judge. And I pride myself on that quality.

But you have a problem. You've become vindictive, and manipulative, and fluctuating in your moods.

(or maybe you always were...)

I want to ask if something is wrong, personally. Because i know that perhaps, there's a reason for everything.

And i'm sure there is one. But as close as I'd like to believe we were, I don't think I can ask that. Because I suppose

part of me fears being just another victim of your disdain. I suppose, I did consider you a friend, and maybe, unfortunately

a small part of me always will. I'm loyal to a fault. But we don't talk as much. And I don't talk to you like i'd talk to a real friend, I never have. I suppose I've always been careful about that.

But you don't feel the distance, do you? You know, you've indirectly given me many headaches. But maybe that's not your or my problem, but their's.

But. You also hurt the person closest to me. I don't know if it was before or after you told me how much you valued her. And I really don't care. That's not something I'm willing to overlook.

But I guess I don't completely hate you.

More so, I pity you, and I'm worried about you. How many bridges will you burn until you're completely stuck?

All of them, I'm betting.

If nothing ails you then you're the worst type of person, and I hate to say that I've associated with the likes of you.

But If you really do need help then...

[King Andre]

You are the music of my mind and the sound of my soul. The rhythm of my concentration and the focus of my imagination.
I find that this is true when I wake and when I sleep and all the time in-between.

So close yet so far, if only I could stretch my hands and cover the distance of a thousand miles, to grasp yours. The feeling
would not be equaled by the sum of one thousand smiles, I am sure.

[King Andre]

In the next world,
If you were to be reborn as a beautiful person,
I would like to be reborn as an angel,
Although I may be invisible,
And you'll go on loving someone else,
I would like to be reborn as an angel to protect you.

In the next world,
If you were to be reborn as a beautiful bird,
I would like to be reborn as a magnificient tree.
Although I would have to wait for you in one place,
I would like to be reborn as a tree,
Where you may rest when your wings are weary.

In the next world,
If you were to be reborn as a beautiful rose,
I would like to be reborn as a humble Baby's Breath flower,
Although I may not look like much in your presence,
I would like to be reborn as a Baby's Breath flower,
So your beauty may grow and you can be loved.

[King Andre]

"only you can give fear form and shape, little dove."

[King Andre]

re: dacted

[King Andre]

" how can i drown out my thoughts if the music isn't loud enough?

the silent mind is a very scary place to be in."

[King Andre]

(and) she said

"i want you."

[King Andre]

paradise

what is paradise? to me, ideally paradise is a place where you're free from worry. free from the troubles of day to day life. a place where you can truly say that you're happy and content. i don't often let myself feel happy or content, i learned at an early age that being truly happy wasn't something that would happen until i was older. or until i was gone and in the afterlife. a place that i believe, that i hope, is paradise. paradise, i suppose, being part of why i believe in it in the first place.

and, at the end of the day, isn't everyone in the pursuit of their own happiness? some live most of their lives trying to get to a point where they can say they're happy. those lives seem like a waste to me. what's the point of accomplishing something if you don't find joy in getting there? is the honey sweeter when all you've known is sour?

i suppose that idea of happiness is ultimately what is supposed to drive my actions. and i wish i could say i worked towards that as often as i should. but i don't. i suppose a part of me prefers transient satisfaction.

but with you, i feel as though it's not temporary. reality is an unpleasant place, for most of us. so that's why some of us avoid it, either through music, or preoccupying themselves to escape the harsh truth. but, i suppose the idea of you is what makes me happy. with you, I've come to realize, is my paradise. if, you being with me, is a reality, then I'm already in paradise. it may not be a perfect paradise. but its close. and all i want is to be that paradise to you as-well. and perhaps, someday, make that paradise permanent; for both of us.

[King Andre]

perfection

what is perfection? the state of being free from any flaws. i consider you perfection. you might consider some parts of your personality to be flaws. but i don't. why? well those aspects merely show that you're human, not that you're flawed. i don't believe innate characteristics of who someone is makes them inherently flawed. to me, on every level, you're perfect. to me, you couldn't be anything less.

and even entertaining the idea that you weren't, that i somehow saw you had a flaw. i would love you even still.