My Novel

Are you a writer or a poet? Come and share your creations with us, or discuss writing techniques with others
Forum rules
Please only post your own original work, do not post poetry or stories which were written by someone else.

My Novel

Postby bookfanatic » Thu Mar 02, 2017 9:53 am

Hi! So I'm writing a book and I can't seem to get anyone to tell me what they think of it unless I send it to them personally but I want to make sure that no one is biased when they read my work because only my close friends have read it. Anyway, just to warn you there is a gross part in it so the younger kids probably shouldn't read this. Sorry. :(

Chapter One
An apple flies across the room and almost clips me in the nose. I guess I should explain why food is being thrown at me. I’m part vampire. I know I know. How can you be only part vampire? Well, Dracula married a human girl named Sarah. They had me. So I’m half vampire and half human. I can turn into a bat and walk on walls but that’s about it. What my greatest power is I can produce fire out of nothing. That's helpful if I'm in a dark place. My father keeps on wanting me to turn into a full vampire but that’s not going to happen. I detest the taste of blood. I think he’s crazy to drink it. I go to a regular school because my mother wanted me to have as normal a life as possible when you have a father who’s a vampire. The mortals didn’t respond to that well though. That’s why cafeteria food is being thrown at me. I duck as a scoop of mashed potatoes flies towards my head. I wish I could say that I have friends to back me up but I don’t have any. All of the kids try to avoid me as much as possible. They act like I’m going to drink their blood and turn them into vampires. Every time I’m walking to class, everyone gets out of the way so that I have a clear path to the classroom. I guess that part is helpful when you’re trying to not be late for class. I don’t know why they think I’ll attack them though because I don’t even have fangs. After lunch I have three more classes (Algebra, Social Studies, and art) then the school day is over and I can fly home. Every day after school then I would turn into a vampire and fly to the castle on a gloomy mountain in the heart of Transylvania. Today is no different. I spread my arms out wide and feel them turn into leathery bat wings. I feel the wind under them as I fly into the air. I swerve to the left and right to avoid obstacles in my path like bugs and clouds. You don’t want to fly into a cloud or else you won’t be able to see. In a few minutes I see the dark, gloomy walls of the castle my family lives in. I land on the draw bridge and walk into the castle. I don’t close the bridge in case my dad is still outside. I walk through the hallways that are carpeted with red. It would be creepy for anyone else but I call it home. I turn left and open the door to my room. My father had it be as scary as possible hoping that it would turn me into a vampire. But that’s not happening anytime soon. I sit on the bed. Red covers hang over the side and drift onto the floor. The bed is hard as a rock. My bookshelves line the other walls full of books. I’m proud of my own little library. My father is not. “She should be going outside and learning how to be a vampire,” I heard him complain to my mother once. He’s never actually taken my books though so I think I’m good. I absentmindedly get up and take a book off of the shelf. I flip the pages and fall into the world trapped in the book.

Chapter Two
I wake up to screeching coming from the hallway. I didn’t even know I fell asleep. I find that crazy because you should know what you are doing. My father must be home. Every time he comes home, the walls screech. He makes them so people will think he’s so scary that he makes the walls scream. I don’t see the point. I just sit there until it’s time for dinner. Suddenly, all is quiet until I hear the word dinner yelled so loud it could make you lose your hearing. I cover my ears hoping that I won’t lose it so I can hear my teachers talk tomorrow. After the word is gone, I jump off of my bed and run to dinner
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
An eye stares at me from my bowl. I look down at it in disgust. “What’s wrong?” my father asks, “eat up!” I think if I eat up I’ll puke. I still stare at my food while my father stuffs his into his mouth. I just watch him eat. Suddenly, I have a plan. “Hey look dad,” I exclaim pointing out the window, “it's a wyvern!” He turns and in that split second I drop my food on the floor and my pet bat , fang, swoops down and eats it. A wyvern is a winged, two-legged dragon with a barbed tail. They are very rare to our area so if someone says they see one, then you look. The thing is, only vampires (or half vampires) can see them. Regular mortals can't. I do this every night meaning I would go hungry if I didn't have a hidden stash of food in my room. He turns back around and says,”Funny, I didn't feel any unusual wind or anything. I don't understand how you keep seeing them and I don't.” I shrug. He looks at my plate and he smiles. “Willow! You ate all of your food. You may just turn into a vampire yet!” I shrug again. Then I excuse myself and head up to my room. I guess I should tell you another hobby of mine. I draw. Everyone says I draw really well but I don't think so. I usually draw anime but I will occasionally draw landscapes. I always hang my drawings up in my room. It's not like anyone is going to come over and see them anyway. My dad has tried threatening me saying that he's going to take my drawing tools away if I didn't turn into a vampire. I'm sure that you already know that that didn't work. But first, I have to do homework. I personally don't mind school. In fact, I sometimes use it as an excuse so I don't have to participate in my dad's vampire transforming exercises. I personally think he is a little obsessive about turning me into a vampire. He's tried everything from force feeding me blood to a “magic” fang growing kit. None of those has worked and I wish he would just stop trying. The fang growing kit was really painful too. Anyway, I was tired and I actually didn't want to do homework for once. I just plopped on the bed and looked at the stars. My dad made sure that I had a huge window in my room so I could come and go as I please. If I have to get away for some me time, I jump out that window and fly to my secret spot. (And no, I'm not going to tell you where that is or else it won't be secret anymore). I was kind of tempted to do that now. But I know that homework comes first. I sigh and get my backpack. My backpack is jet black just like every other article of clothing I own. As well as all of my pencils and other school supplies. I sit down and start to write.
Chapter Three
I'm about ready to pass out. School is taking forever today. It just seems like I will never be done. I had motion problems for Math. I mean seriously, why would I need to know when two trains are going to pass each other. I remember when I was younger then my mother would make motion problems a little more interesting by changing the moving objects from trains to pigs. So the problem would go something like this.
Two People are riding pigs at each other in a joust. One pig travels at 4 miles an hours and the other travels at 5 miles an hour. How long will it be before the pigs meet in the middle.
I thought that was the funniest thing in the world. So now every time I have a motion problem with trains in it then I change the word train to pig. It just makes math more fun. Then I had literature and that was reading a short story in my textbook and then answering, like, twenty questions. I mean, come one. I want to play a game of twenty questions then I will ask. This is exactly like making me play the most boring board game in the universe. Anyway, after homework, I decided to work on my novel. Yes, I'm writing a novel. I mean, you're reading it. I actually want to have a job when I grow up. I want to be an author. I thought my dad would be all over it but he was just all like, “No no no! Artists show their work while vampires hide in the shadows! You need to live in solitude not showcase your work to the world!”
Well I don't want to live in solitude. I want to show the world that I'm not a blood thirsty monster. There is only one thing I'm scared of though. That is vampire hunters. They are merciless men who never give vampires a chance. They hunt down every vampire and take their heads as trophies. Even the ones who just want to live like normal people don't stand a chance against these guys. For all I know, my dad is the last Vampire in the world. Every other vampire we have ever known has been killed by a vampire slayer. They store their trophies on mantles just like expert huntsmen showcase their deer heads (by the way, I think that's disgusting). I'm surprised we aren't dead yet. Many vampire hunters have hiked up the mountain to our castle but my dad has always stopped them somehow. One killed my mother because he mistook her for a vampire. I was well hidden at that time. But it is getting harder and harder to hide me. I'm six foot two you know. I probably got that from my dad. Being tall runs in the family. Drax is the most ruthless of the the vampire hunters. He will stop at nothing to try to take out me and my dad. In fact, he's the one who killed my mother. Suddenly, I hear my dad calling me from downstairs.
“Willow! Time for your daily vampire transformation exercise.”
I groan and slowly walk down the stairs so I can stay away from it as long as I can. He's waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs. “Okay,” he says excitedly, “today, we are going to shine some light on you so we can see if you start burning up. Doesn't that sound fun?!”
My dad has a twisted sense of humor. I sigh and then turn around and start heading back to my room. He starts yelling at me to come back but I ignore him. I think it's time to go to my secret spot.
Chapter Four
I jump out the window and fall straight towards the ground. I throw my arms out at the last second and turn into a bat. That's my favorite way to transform. Don't ask me why. It's just fun. I fly for about five miles to my secret spot. It's really far away so I can really get away. I pass over bogs and marshes and fly by other buildings but none are as cool as our castle. I finally drop into my secret spot. All I will tell you is that it is an island but it is pointless to try to find out which one. There are a lot of willows on that island. Maybe that's why I like it. I can go there to be with me, myself, and I. That is why I named it Willow Island. I don't know if that is the actual name or who owns it if anyone does but I love it here. Everything for miles around my castle is always dark so my dad can venture out of the castle whenever he pleases. My island is no exception. There is a cave on my island where I store my treasures like seashells I've found and other miscellaneous things. At one point I even found a wyvern bone. Those are even more rare than seeing a live wyvern. But I made sure to hide the entrance to my cave well so no one can steal my treasures. I quickly find the entrance and enter my museum. I have carefully arranged everything on natural shelves and I am proud of my work. The wyvern bone is in the middle of the room on a tall rock. My seashells and mermaid's comb are on the walls. I have torches on the walls. I light those with my fire. The light flickers over my collection. I could spend hours in here but instead I go out to search for more artifacts. I comb my way along the sandy beach. I use a stick to make a line in the sand so I know where I have been. Suddenly, I step on something smooth but with dips in it. I use the toe of my shoe to unearth the strange object. A sand dollar. I put it in my pocket and keep walking. I am soon on a part of the island that I have never been before. This part is even darker than the other side of the island. Bats swoop over my head. I hear their screeching. I wander farther into the trees. I grew up among darkness, I am used to it. I walk into a clearing. Something covered in vines looms over me. It is a ship. Its sails are in tatters and bones litter the deck. I climb the side of the hull. I see a skeleton with his bony hands wrapped around the stern. His face in an everlasting grin. At least I think he's grinning. I know that there is no way I can fit this find in my pocket. I realize I must mark this spot somehow so I can find it again. I find sticks and make arrows on the ground that point the way to the ship all the way from the beach to the clearing. I realize it is getting late and I want to make sure that I can wake up in time for school tomorrow. It is time to fly back. I make sure to take my time getting back to I know for sure that my father has gone out hunting. I swoop in and out of the puffy clouds. The moon is behind me shining a dull light over my path as I fly amongst the stars. I stop on a tree to rest. I look up and notice lights in front of the drawbridge to my castle. What are people doing here. I can see light gleaming off of metal. Pitchforks. The people are all yelling, “Kill the vampire! Kill the vampire! Kill the vampire!” This is not good. A burly man with black clothes on comes out. I shiver. Drax. He grins and holds something above his head triumphantly. I can't look anymore. He's holding my father's head. Everyone cheers. He then yells, “Light it up!” to the people with torches. They all cheer some more and throw the torches into the castle. It goes up in flames. Everyone marches away taking my father's head with them. The castle crumbles to the ground.
Chapter Five
I can feel the tears running down my face. This is the worst day of my life. Well, actually, I think the day my mom died was worse. But now, I'm an orphan. I never thought that Drax would actually kill my father. If he knows I'm here, he'll come after me. All I can think is that it was good I wasn't in the castle at the time. But now, I have no home. No where to hide from Drax and his evil henchmen. I have to get out of here. They could come back any second. I take a step. I have to force myself to walk away from my only home. My refuge. The only place that I have ever felt safe besides my secret spot. I wipe my eyes dry. Now the woods have never scared me. I grew up hiking in those woods. I know where pretty much every creature in that forest lives. When I have been too tired to fly all the way to my secret spot then I take a hike in the woods to get away. But now the woods are luminous and foreboding to me. If I stay here, I die. But if I go in there, a creature might attack me. I decide to be brave. I take a step and enter the woods.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
I hear cawing and growling come from somewhere to my left. I can feel creepy crawly things staring at me from all around. They are sizing me up. They want to eat me. I shiver. Why why why did I have to leave the castle. I could have flown to my secret spot. But deep in my heart I know that I still wouldn't have been safe. They would have found me. I trip on a root. I tip forward and scrape my knee against the ground. I feel my knee stinging as I slowly get back up. Now my clothes are torn and my knee is scraped. I hear barking in the distance. They know I was there. I can feel blood running down my leg. I pull a large leaf off of a tree and wrap it around my knee, trying to stop the bleeding. I hear the drops plip into a puddle at my feet. I limp. It is starting to hurt even more. Suddenly, I fall forward and tumble down a hill. At the bottom I fall into water. Thankfully it is not deep. I slowly push myself upright. My knee is throbbing now. It will need treatment. My feet slip as I pull myself out of the pond. It is like this for about another hour. The woods are huge where I come from. I finally reach the edge of the woods and I face a clearing. Long sage grass sways in the light breeze. I shiver. I didn't grab a jacket when I left. I keep walking. A small cottage appears after about 5 minutes. It looks like a palace to me. I realize I will have to spend the night here. I limp to the front of the house and knock on the wooden door. I hear footsteps and a, “I wonder who that could be. And at one in the morning!” They are right behind the door. It opens a little bit and I see a face peeking out of the side. I am definitely taller than this woman.
“Hi,” I say in my happiest voice possible, “I was wondering if I could stay the night.” The woman opens the door a little wider to size me up. I also size her up at the same time.
Last edited by bookfanatic on Sat Mar 04, 2017 5:36 am, edited 1 time in total.
Bookfanatic


10 things i know about you
1.you are reading this
2.you are human
3.you cant say the letter "p" without separating you lips
4.you just attempted to do it
6.you are laughing at yourself
7.you have a smile on your face and you skipped number 5.
8.you just checked to see if there was a number 5.
9.you laugh at this because you fell for it and everyone else did too
10.now copy and paste this to see who else falls for it XD
http://huggle.jdf2.org/sig/bookfanatic.png
Image
✞I believe in Jesus Christ my Savior, and I am not afraid to admit it. If you are a Christian, please copy and paste this into your signature. 96% of teens won't stand up for God. Put this in your signature if you are one of the 4% of teens who will.✞ ✞ I asked Jesus, "How much do you love me?" Jesus replied, "This much." He stretched his arms on the arms on the cross and died. Please put this in your signature if you believe that Jesus died for our sins.✞
User avatar
bookfanatic
 
Posts: 346
Joined: Sat Mar 19, 2016 8:25 am
My pets
My items
My wishlist
My gallery
My scenes
My dressups
Trade with me

Re: My Book

Postby bookfanatic » Thu Mar 02, 2017 10:00 am

Bump! :D
Bookfanatic


10 things i know about you
1.you are reading this
2.you are human
3.you cant say the letter "p" without separating you lips
4.you just attempted to do it
6.you are laughing at yourself
7.you have a smile on your face and you skipped number 5.
8.you just checked to see if there was a number 5.
9.you laugh at this because you fell for it and everyone else did too
10.now copy and paste this to see who else falls for it XD
http://huggle.jdf2.org/sig/bookfanatic.png
Image
✞I believe in Jesus Christ my Savior, and I am not afraid to admit it. If you are a Christian, please copy and paste this into your signature. 96% of teens won't stand up for God. Put this in your signature if you are one of the 4% of teens who will.✞ ✞ I asked Jesus, "How much do you love me?" Jesus replied, "This much." He stretched his arms on the arms on the cross and died. Please put this in your signature if you believe that Jesus died for our sins.✞
User avatar
bookfanatic
 
Posts: 346
Joined: Sat Mar 19, 2016 8:25 am
My pets
My items
My wishlist
My gallery
My scenes
My dressups
Trade with me

Re: My Book

Postby bookfanatic » Thu Mar 02, 2017 10:06 am

Bump! :D
Bookfanatic


10 things i know about you
1.you are reading this
2.you are human
3.you cant say the letter "p" without separating you lips
4.you just attempted to do it
6.you are laughing at yourself
7.you have a smile on your face and you skipped number 5.
8.you just checked to see if there was a number 5.
9.you laugh at this because you fell for it and everyone else did too
10.now copy and paste this to see who else falls for it XD
http://huggle.jdf2.org/sig/bookfanatic.png
Image
✞I believe in Jesus Christ my Savior, and I am not afraid to admit it. If you are a Christian, please copy and paste this into your signature. 96% of teens won't stand up for God. Put this in your signature if you are one of the 4% of teens who will.✞ ✞ I asked Jesus, "How much do you love me?" Jesus replied, "This much." He stretched his arms on the arms on the cross and died. Please put this in your signature if you believe that Jesus died for our sins.✞
User avatar
bookfanatic
 
Posts: 346
Joined: Sat Mar 19, 2016 8:25 am
My pets
My items
My wishlist
My gallery
My scenes
My dressups
Trade with me

Re: My Book

Postby bookfanatic » Thu Mar 02, 2017 10:57 am

Bump! :D
Bookfanatic


10 things i know about you
1.you are reading this
2.you are human
3.you cant say the letter "p" without separating you lips
4.you just attempted to do it
6.you are laughing at yourself
7.you have a smile on your face and you skipped number 5.
8.you just checked to see if there was a number 5.
9.you laugh at this because you fell for it and everyone else did too
10.now copy and paste this to see who else falls for it XD
http://huggle.jdf2.org/sig/bookfanatic.png
Image
✞I believe in Jesus Christ my Savior, and I am not afraid to admit it. If you are a Christian, please copy and paste this into your signature. 96% of teens won't stand up for God. Put this in your signature if you are one of the 4% of teens who will.✞ ✞ I asked Jesus, "How much do you love me?" Jesus replied, "This much." He stretched his arms on the arms on the cross and died. Please put this in your signature if you believe that Jesus died for our sins.✞
User avatar
bookfanatic
 
Posts: 346
Joined: Sat Mar 19, 2016 8:25 am
My pets
My items
My wishlist
My gallery
My scenes
My dressups
Trade with me

Re: My Novel

Postby bookfanatic » Sat Mar 04, 2017 5:38 am

Bumping! :D
Bookfanatic


10 things i know about you
1.you are reading this
2.you are human
3.you cant say the letter "p" without separating you lips
4.you just attempted to do it
6.you are laughing at yourself
7.you have a smile on your face and you skipped number 5.
8.you just checked to see if there was a number 5.
9.you laugh at this because you fell for it and everyone else did too
10.now copy and paste this to see who else falls for it XD
http://huggle.jdf2.org/sig/bookfanatic.png
Image
✞I believe in Jesus Christ my Savior, and I am not afraid to admit it. If you are a Christian, please copy and paste this into your signature. 96% of teens won't stand up for God. Put this in your signature if you are one of the 4% of teens who will.✞ ✞ I asked Jesus, "How much do you love me?" Jesus replied, "This much." He stretched his arms on the arms on the cross and died. Please put this in your signature if you believe that Jesus died for our sins.✞
User avatar
bookfanatic
 
Posts: 346
Joined: Sat Mar 19, 2016 8:25 am
My pets
My items
My wishlist
My gallery
My scenes
My dressups
Trade with me

Re: My Novel

Postby bookfanatic » Mon Mar 06, 2017 7:48 am

Bump! :D
Bookfanatic


10 things i know about you
1.you are reading this
2.you are human
3.you cant say the letter "p" without separating you lips
4.you just attempted to do it
6.you are laughing at yourself
7.you have a smile on your face and you skipped number 5.
8.you just checked to see if there was a number 5.
9.you laugh at this because you fell for it and everyone else did too
10.now copy and paste this to see who else falls for it XD
http://huggle.jdf2.org/sig/bookfanatic.png
Image
✞I believe in Jesus Christ my Savior, and I am not afraid to admit it. If you are a Christian, please copy and paste this into your signature. 96% of teens won't stand up for God. Put this in your signature if you are one of the 4% of teens who will.✞ ✞ I asked Jesus, "How much do you love me?" Jesus replied, "This much." He stretched his arms on the arms on the cross and died. Please put this in your signature if you believe that Jesus died for our sins.✞
User avatar
bookfanatic
 
Posts: 346
Joined: Sat Mar 19, 2016 8:25 am
My pets
My items
My wishlist
My gallery
My scenes
My dressups
Trade with me

Re: My Novel

Postby bookfanatic » Thu Mar 16, 2017 8:00 am

She is a small plump woman. If she tries to catch me I could probably take her in a fight. She must finally decide that I'm not going to kill her in her sleep or something because she opens the door all the way and lets me in. I slowly walk into the room. It is the kitchen. A wooden six person table sits in the middle of the room. Right now the room is dark and dreary but if it was in the morning then it would be bright and cheerful. Checkered curtains hang from the windows. A flower pot sits on the window sill. The woman waddles over to the pantry and takes out bread, peanut butter, and jelly. She watches me out of the corner of her eye as she does so. She sits the sandwich in front of a chair at the table. She sits in the chair across from it. I slowly sit in the chair and start to eat. She watches me for a little bit. Suddenly, out of the blue she asks, “So where are you from dearie?” I frown. I was hoping she wouldn't ask me any questions. I carefully think about this. If I tell her where I'm from then she might be working for Drax and turn me over. Yet, she might just be an innocent woman who is worried about me.
Bookfanatic


10 things i know about you
1.you are reading this
2.you are human
3.you cant say the letter "p" without separating you lips
4.you just attempted to do it
6.you are laughing at yourself
7.you have a smile on your face and you skipped number 5.
8.you just checked to see if there was a number 5.
9.you laugh at this because you fell for it and everyone else did too
10.now copy and paste this to see who else falls for it XD
http://huggle.jdf2.org/sig/bookfanatic.png
Image
✞I believe in Jesus Christ my Savior, and I am not afraid to admit it. If you are a Christian, please copy and paste this into your signature. 96% of teens won't stand up for God. Put this in your signature if you are one of the 4% of teens who will.✞ ✞ I asked Jesus, "How much do you love me?" Jesus replied, "This much." He stretched his arms on the arms on the cross and died. Please put this in your signature if you believe that Jesus died for our sins.✞
User avatar
bookfanatic
 
Posts: 346
Joined: Sat Mar 19, 2016 8:25 am
My pets
My items
My wishlist
My gallery
My scenes
My dressups
Trade with me

Re: My Novel

Postby bookfanatic » Tue Mar 28, 2017 4:20 am

Bump! :D
Bookfanatic


10 things i know about you
1.you are reading this
2.you are human
3.you cant say the letter "p" without separating you lips
4.you just attempted to do it
6.you are laughing at yourself
7.you have a smile on your face and you skipped number 5.
8.you just checked to see if there was a number 5.
9.you laugh at this because you fell for it and everyone else did too
10.now copy and paste this to see who else falls for it XD
http://huggle.jdf2.org/sig/bookfanatic.png
Image
✞I believe in Jesus Christ my Savior, and I am not afraid to admit it. If you are a Christian, please copy and paste this into your signature. 96% of teens won't stand up for God. Put this in your signature if you are one of the 4% of teens who will.✞ ✞ I asked Jesus, "How much do you love me?" Jesus replied, "This much." He stretched his arms on the arms on the cross and died. Please put this in your signature if you believe that Jesus died for our sins.✞
User avatar
bookfanatic
 
Posts: 346
Joined: Sat Mar 19, 2016 8:25 am
My pets
My items
My wishlist
My gallery
My scenes
My dressups
Trade with me

Re: My Novel

Postby bookfanatic » Tue Mar 28, 2017 4:21 am

Here's some more. It's not very much because I have been busy.

She is a small plump woman. If she tries to catch me I could probably take her in a fight. She must finally decide that I'm not going to kill her in her sleep or something because she opens the door all the way and lets me in. I slowly walk into the room. It is the kitchen. A wooden six person table sits in the middle of the room. Right now the room is dark and dreary but if it was in the morning then it would be bright and cheerful. Checkered curtains hang from the windows. A flower pot sits on the window sill. The woman waddles over to the pantry and takes out bread, peanut butter, and jelly. She watches me out of the corner of her eye as she does so. She sits the sandwich in front of a chair at the table. She sits in the chair across from it. I slowly sit in the chair and start to eat. She watches me for a little bit. Suddenly, out of the blue she asks, “So where are you from dearie?” I frown. I was hoping she wouldn't ask me any questions. I carefully think about this. If I tell her where I'm from then she might be working for Drax and turn me over. Yet, she might just be an innocent woman who is worried about me. I chew slowly to but myself time. Then I swallow. I can tell she is trying as hard as she can to not shake me and yell, “Where are you from?!”
Bookfanatic


10 things i know about you
1.you are reading this
2.you are human
3.you cant say the letter "p" without separating you lips
4.you just attempted to do it
6.you are laughing at yourself
7.you have a smile on your face and you skipped number 5.
8.you just checked to see if there was a number 5.
9.you laugh at this because you fell for it and everyone else did too
10.now copy and paste this to see who else falls for it XD
http://huggle.jdf2.org/sig/bookfanatic.png
Image
✞I believe in Jesus Christ my Savior, and I am not afraid to admit it. If you are a Christian, please copy and paste this into your signature. 96% of teens won't stand up for God. Put this in your signature if you are one of the 4% of teens who will.✞ ✞ I asked Jesus, "How much do you love me?" Jesus replied, "This much." He stretched his arms on the arms on the cross and died. Please put this in your signature if you believe that Jesus died for our sins.✞
User avatar
bookfanatic
 
Posts: 346
Joined: Sat Mar 19, 2016 8:25 am
My pets
My items
My wishlist
My gallery
My scenes
My dressups
Trade with me

Re: My Novel

Postby Ranger of the North » Mon Jun 12, 2017 6:06 pm

Aah, this is kinda sad.... ): I do like, however, that even though it wasn't her most favourite place in the world, her home was her safe place. And she still loved her dad enough to be gutted when he died. All too often I've seen people going too extreme in the 'dislike' direction; their characters don't just disagree with their parents, they hate them and they hate their home, etc. etc. etc. You seem to have found a good balance! I like your writing-style, too. Good job, I hope you decide to keep it up! :D
User avatar
Ranger of the North
 
Posts: 9167
Joined: Sun Nov 29, 2015 3:27 pm
My pets
My items
My wishlist
My gallery
My scenes
My dressups
Trade with me

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest