❛ the lazy writers ❜

[Silver Pandorica]

Oh my gosh. Those stories made me sad yet had me chuckling at the same time. Inside jokes are the best...XD

[The Worst Username]

Is it bad that I was amused by that? Nice story! I enjoyed it, but I still have to ask, does it make me a bad person that I was amused by it?

No, definitely not. About halfway through, I realized that it wasn't turning out how I wanted, so I made it satirical.

@Kaliria

Oy vey. This is going to be interesting. Also, thank you!

@Clover

The Great Carrot War of '83? Fantastic!

@Silver

I couldn't agree more! Someone should bring back the Dr. Dummkopf jokes, though.

[Woogwoo Wren]

Oh dear. Dummkopf. It has been a while. I just wasted ten minutes scrolling through all the posts surrounding that and getting nostalgic.

[winged-backpack]

How much do your characters swear when they're angry?

I haven't actually written many characters in enough depth to know for sure, by the thing with swearing is that if you do it wrong, it could make your book seem immature. Unless it's how you want your character to come across, gratuitous overuse of swearing could lead to your story becoming poorly written. Swearing g should be done in the right amounts in the right context. Anger is an obvious one, as I'm just realising that that's what this question was originally about and I've been rambling on a tangent

My protagonist is almost definitely not going to be someone who swears, but her wife definitely will be. Going off on another tangent, I've planned Starla (my protagonist) to be a timid, quiet person whereas Maddie, her wife, is her complete foil in that she is a headstrong, proactive woman. I thought it would give them a cute contrast ^^ I begin to wonder of that seems forced, what do you guys think?

[TheSongOfTheStars]

How much do your characters swear when they're angry?
Some have sailor swears (blast, blimey) one says "lovely" whenever something inconvenient comes up. But really, not real words.

[Schuyler]

How much do your characters swear when they're angry?

Well, most of my characters are based on me and I swear a lot period. Though they don't really use anything stronger than - removed - or crap. I do have them use words like hell and, stuff when they get angry. But that doesn't actually happen very often.
I have started another language for one of my stories and the characters in that one do like to call people idiots and more in that language.

[L.V.L]

500 words in less then a day?
anyone else up for the challenge?

[Woogwoo Wren]

I think I've posted this here before - or was it on Inklings? Anyway, I'd love it if you could do a survey for me, for part of a school project I'm doing. It's about Audio books and Normal books. Here's the link. Thanks so much!

[Ranger of the North]

I read lazy writers hello friends I am here

Kia ora, welcome along! As Mai said, avoid carrots at all costs O_O

How much do your characters swear when they're angry?
Not much at all tbh XD My characters are often annoyed, but I don't remember writing many scenes where anyone's flat-out furious. They'll often insult each other, though XD

Bleep don't mind me casually joining as this thread seems to sum up my life.

I'm allergic to carrots so don't mind me building a castle-

Welcome along, fellow lazy XD

tbh I reckon most of us should be building castles XD

Has anyone actually made a story involving
these carrots and how much they will kill us? o-o

I just did!



Salchicha’s tiny hand wraps around her father’s thumb. His hands bleed sweat; he shouldn’t have brought her here. But then again, he didn’t exactly expect it to be this bad.

The father’s name is Jugo; his sister, Manzana, stands across from him. Her hair is thin and black, with strands of tired silver in the mix. Manzana’s ashen skin pulls tight over worried bones; she squeezes two hands into fists at her sides and fidgets under an apple-red dress. Salchicha used to tell “Auntie Manza” that she smelled of honeyed tea and dust. Now, that smell has been washed away by the sterile hand-sanitizer halls of the hospital.

Jugo’s skin, barely touched by brown, sags over his once-sharp cheekbones and sloping forehead, sloping nose, sloping eyes, sloping mouth. He looks like he’s collapsing on the inside. Jugo rushed here the instant he picked Salchicha up from school; he remains in the oil-stained gear of a mechanic.

Salchicha is tiny and plain in her fuzzy jacket and trousers, not registering the fear in the adult’s faces, not registering the woman on the bed that sits just above her head.

The woman looks as if she is already dead. Her mouth lolls half-open; she lies rigid in her tomb made of a stiff mattress and a thin sheet; her shock-white hair frames a wrinkled, liver-spotted face with two brown eyes still open; she is sore and stiff and old and rotting from the inside out.

“Do…do you really think it’s that bad?” Jugo has a soft voice by nature. It is near silent now.

“Um. Jugo, I, I…um.” Manzana’s words are loud, sharp, clipped, nervous. “You do know, you know: she ate carrots. I…carrots, Jugo!” Sweat runs down her temple. She tries not to tap her foot.

Salchicha cranes her neck, but Jugo keeps her down with a firm pat to the head.

“I mean, it’s just carrots,” Jugo says. But he looks down at the woman, and he bites his lip.

“J-just carrots. Jugo, Jugo, there isn’t such a thing as just carrots. For us, carrots are good, carrots are great, but for her? Aunt Panqueque is a writer. Don’t you—don’t you get it?”

“No, I don’t get it. Carrots are carrots. They aren’t,” he lowers his voice, “deadly.”

“I hope you’re right, for once,” Manzana says. Her voice has turned as grave and ashen as Panqueque’s face.

They look down at Panqueque, biting their lips, watching her every breath as her frail chest rises and falls in her hospital gown. Harsh white light falls on the tops of their heads, and Salchicha squints up at the light almost curiously. She doesn’t know what any of it means, not yet.

Ahahahahahaha, that's amazing, Worst XD XD XD
That's great; I had to stop and explain it all to Mum and the kids Dad's at work cri. That's awesome XD *applauds you*

Has anyone actually made a story involving
these carrots and how much they will kill us? o-o

I wasted too much time on this and it is rather bad but practice is practice.
I think this took 10-15 minutes? I wasn't really counting-



We all sat in silence, no one dared to open their mouth to make a remark. I grunted in dissatisfaction, staring at the orange sludge on my plate. I was too cowardly to make a stand so I sat contently as the others ate around me. An abrupt thud was enough to startle me as I sprung to attention.

I watched him push away his place with an unpleasant grunted as he snootily stuck his nose up at the gunk in front of him. “I’m not consuming this filth.” He grumbled under his breath, “I wouldn’t even feed it to a hound.” I gazed at him, dumbfounded at his bravery.

There was a brief moment of hesitation, nobody knew how to react to his foolishness. “I beg your pardon?” My father snapped as he threw down his fork. I hunched over, nuzzling into my sweater to protect myself. He was a kind man but undoubtedly had a temper and I couldn’t stop myself from being intimidated. “Who gave you the right to be fussy? Shut up and eat, boy. Eating your enemies makes you stronger.”

I watched him stare back down at his plate, disgusted at my father’s idiotic speech. “They're carrots, sir. They are literally carrots. How can a simple vegetable be an enemy?” He muttered bitterly.

My father scoffed at his crude remark as he scornfully chuckled.“You have a lot to learn young one. Have I ever told you of the great carrot war of eighty-three?”

Oh, what an absurd sounding tale. I have grown tired of his ridiculous stories yet I felt oddly intrigued. I peered up, my eyes filled with curiosity as they remained fixed him. “Tell us more, father.”

I grinned to myself as I saw his worn face light up. He gave a stern chuckle before aggressively clearing his throat. “It all started many years ago before you were born…”

“Eating your enemies makes you stronger.”
*shrieks with laughter* That is brilliant XD XD *applauds*

[AriDeZu]

I eat my enemies all the time! And I brag to Mai when I do XD. Mai eats them too.