The Last Thing I Remember.... (Chapter 2 up)

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The Last Thing I Remember...

By:sam24543

~Prologue~

A girl was being loaded into the ambulance. A boy was crying hard next to the girl on the stretcher. The boy kept saying "It's all my fault, it's all my fault." over and over again. The girl had white blonde hair and blue eyes that where staring into nothing. She wasn't dead but she was close to it. A small dog was rolled up on the girl. The dog looked around blindly as though she was used to not seeing. Another small dog was next to the boy whimpering. The boy climbed in the ambulance and gave the dog on the girls chest to a lady in her 40's "Jax go home" he said to the whimpering dog. The ambulance rolled down the street and the lady went inside and came back out. Officers were talking to the owner of the car that hit the girl. The boy his face was full of guilt as if he had hit her, But the face of the owner was shocked and worried. "I didn't see her she wasn't there and then she walked right out in front of me i couldn't stop." he was telling one of the officers questioning him.

~~~Hospital~~~
I was so upset i couldn't tell who came in or who came out of the waiting room. I hoped and prayed she was ok. "You should start from the little information and work back up like what your name is to what happened." said someone i wasn't sure who it was but i did just that. My name is Jacob Koda Lee i go by Koda, I am 17 years old. I have a dog named Daisy. She is in California with my parents. She i there because i moved there because i couldn't be with Luna. Her dog Sasparella King or King for short, an Australian Shep., bred with my dog Daisy, a border collie, and my parents tried to abort them. i kept one and named him Jax and gave one that reminded me of Luna, a blind pup, named Moon after her. I had lived here in Kentucky my whole life except until the begining of last winter. Then once my parents realized that me and Luna should be together they let me move here with my Aunt Jenny, the only one that liked the idea of me and Luna, in our old home. She moved in with us but went to see her grandfather, that she had lived with most of her life, everyday. We where very happy and did all kinds of things together we where still in school and stuff but we used all the free time we could get. We got in an argument and went outside to cool down 2 hours ago. she was blowing off steam and made a nasty comment i said something mean back and she stepped backwards into the street. About the same time a car rammed into her. Then I called 911 begging for help. After that it was all a blur. "Mr.Lee i need to speak to you." the doctor said. I got up and followed him. "She won't die but she may not remember anything that happened for up to the last year or so. She has broken her left hand she won't be able to write with that hand for a while, about six weeks." he said. I nodded. "Can I see her now?" I asked.The doctor nodded "But be prepared." he said evenly. I nodded again and followed him into her room.


~~~Luna's P.O.V.~~~

I slowly opened my eyes to find the door opening. But to where and where was I? the last thing I remember was being at my 16nth birthday party. Then I looked down to see my self in a hospital bed with IVs and all hooked up to me. Then I noticed my arm in a cast and I used my other arm to touch my forehead. It had a wrap around it. Then the people who had opened the door came in. A doctor and a boy. I knew this boy. He was there at my 16nth birthday party and i liked him. I thought he was cute. But what was he doing here?

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Index:
(This post is the index at first it was a bump but I has changed.)

Chapter 1
Chapter 2

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Characters:
(This post is the characters page at first it was a bump but I has changed.)


Main Characters:




Name:
Ashten Luna Mikki
"I go by Luna.."
Age:
In the first part of the story it is a the night before she turns 18, in chapter one she is 18.
She met Koda at 16 at her b-day party.
"...."
Hair color:
An odd brown red, which is mostly red
"My hair is odd, very odd. It's really long and straight, you can't really do anything with it."
Eye color:
Blue, almost icey blue
"My eyes trick people into thinking I'm always mad or something."
Piercings or Tattoos:
Just regular ear piercings with two extra piercings on each ear at the top.
"Tats are overrated anyways, I love my piercings."
Height:
5 ft 1in
Weight:
102 pounds
Pets:
Sasparella King (King):

"Doesn't he look so proud?"
Moon:

She doesn't remember her, and she is the pup that was laying on the girl's (Luna's) chest in the prologue. She is Daisy's and King's pup a present from Koda before he had moved back from California. She is blind.
Ocean:

One of her five horses of the 7 on her grandfather's ranch. This is her high stung filly that she raised from a foal. She is the daughter of Rosalina a horse on the farm, and Jack's Parade a stud they paid for. Rosa is hers also.
Rosalina (Rosa):

They bought Rosa when she was a yearling, Luna has always favored her. She says that Rosa is the sweetest out of them all and she rides her all the time.
Indigo Sky (Sky):

Her eventing gelding. She rides him in most competitions.
Rouge on The run (Rouge):

This is Luna's former race horse. Rouge only trust Luna and was abused before she came to Luna. Rouge has a feisty personality and does bite and kick if your not Luna.
Marice:

This is Luna's trusty little Marice, a stud miniature horse that she has had since she was really little. So he is getting kind of old but he is still sweet. He lets the cat ride him around.
ButterBall:

"Doesn't she look so kind?"
ButterBall is the cat that she raised from a kitten and the cat dislikes everyone but Luna,King,Luna's Grandpa, and Marice. She is a pretty mean cat.
Other:
She just doesn't know it but she was in love with Koda, Who believes he can help her remember.



W.I.P.

[Inner Animal]

That is really good you should write more:)

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Thanks I have been trying to figure out what is next ill probably start chapter 1. XD

[Inner Animal]

You welcome god luck

[Aero-]

:: Good writing. I'd say keep it up...looks like it could turn out to be something great. Oh, just make sure that when something is in quotations its a comma at the end, not a period. Example: "Mr.Lee i need to speak to you." the doctor said. should be "Mr. Lee I need to speak to you," the doctor said.
The blue is wrong, the red is correct. The only time you do not use a comma is for a question (?) or an exclamation (!). Also make sure to capitolize proper nouns.

Forever, Zelo ::

[Pangolin]

First, I'd like to say; good start.
The big thing for me, is that's it's very confusing. It seems to jump all over the place. A big thing in writing, is to start a new paragraph with a new topic, or when a new character begins speaking. Spelling and grammar is also a big thing, remember; names, 'I', places, and there first letter of a sentence is always capitalized. Also, details, details, details. What does the waiting room look like? Who else is there? What can he smell? How does he feel? Same goes for the girl. What does the room look like? How does she feel?
A good thing to think about when describing something is; Why is the character there? What is the character doing there? Who else is there? What does it look like? Smell like? Feel like? What is the character thinking?
I hope that helped some.

From One Writer, to Another.

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Thanks everyone! I apriciate all the help and comments.

Fairy~ It is supposed to be a little confusing because when disaster strikes you you are a little confused but still thanks for the help.

[LOCW_Bluestarwarrior]

Really neat, I like the style!