- So the backstory:
Back in the day of 4 years ago I was scrolling through Instagram and I liked a dudes photo he posted. Low and behold, he messaged me on Instagram and said get. Let's call him J. J and I got along right off the bat. We were texting and video calling every day, and soon, we were in a relationship. That went on for a few months before I could no longer stand the distance. Because I was younger and living with my parents then, and I was only making minimum wage at my work, there was no way I could afford to fly to see him (he was a few states over. About 800 miles or so). And he was working non stop and In nursing school. So we broke up because the distance was hard. But we kept in contact and still talked frequently.
Recently:
We started talking again back in November of 2016, and we decided to give it another go. But now I am away in college and he is working in a nursing program. We are both broke. But on Christmas he surprises me with a round trip plane ticket to his house for March of 2017. I finally tell my parents about J and they were worried but accepting. I went over and saw him for the first time ever. I have video called him for four years... But wow... he is so handsome my heart stopped. And he stood at the doors of the airport holding a bouquet of roses for me. He literally sweeps me off of my feet, spins me around, and we have our first kiss. I spent three days there. We spent every night in bed cuddling, watching tv and eating pizza. He introduced me to his family and we go on many adventures. Like to the zoo, aquarium, different places to eat, a gun range, and just are happy. And when it was time for me to board the plane I never was in more pain in my life. I felt like there were razors sliding down my ribs and I could not stop crying. My face and eyes were swollen red but I kept crying. J was sad but was better at hiding it. The whole 6 hour plane trip felt like torture. The woman who was placed next to me requested a seat change because I was crying so hard and could not control myself. It took me a few weeks just to calm down from the experience.
Now:
J is now juggling three separate jobs. One as a full time nurse, a part time aquarium maintenance guy, and a construction worker. He is busy and never free, and my college was out for the summer, and so I found a job as a nanny. I work 12 hour days on average 5 days a week, making 10$. So when I come home, I am wiped out and can hardly move. So because I am saving all my money I make at work for the apartment I just got at my college, I am at my parents house for the summer saving. Because I have worked so Well, my mother surprises me with a plane ticket for J to come here to my house. He worked double time and so did I to make up for the 4 days he will be here. He showed up on Friday, and I ran and jumped in his arms. We spent every day talking and spending time together. Once again, we were in our own happy work. It was so wonderful, he gave me ring. A promise ring. He said to stay faithful to me and commited to me through all of his school and work and ups and downs. Him and I were in A utopia just for us two. But all good things come to an end and I had to drop him off at the airport yesterday. After I missed him and he boarded the plane I sat in my car and bawled my eyes out. It was raining hard outside so I just cried as hard as I could. I felt like the world was falling down around me. The same razor blades were back. We are planning on meeting up sometime between early to late August again. And I know it's only a few months but it feels like years are in between now and then, and not months. And I can only see him a few days in a row, and then nothing for a few months. And now that he is going into another nursing school again in the fall, I will see him less and less. And I have school and an apartment away from him and it feels like torture already. I can't explain the pain I felt when he left. I would not wish that pain on anyone. I could not feel any part of me except my heart breaking and the ring on my finger. I could not breathe and I was dehydrated from crying... I know now more people are doing long distance relationships, but does goodbyes ever get easier? I can't imagine going through that pain over and over every time I see him.
