feel free to just skip reading this post, I simply need to rant a bit.
my anxiety wont stop. I don't have another psychiatrist appointment til february, which is bad because
these pills are clearly not working. I keep constantly feeling my heart pounding through my chest
and it's really scary. I really wish I could just hug someone but I'm super anti-social and I'm worried nobody
is even willing to give me a hug?? and my bed is just so uncomfortable that I can't sleep anymore.
I feel like every last thing I'm doing is a terrible sin and everyone is furious at me for it, so I get furious
at myself as well. I get drawn to things that I'm not sure if I should and then when I've found myself at
said things then I internally beat myself up about it. the world is falling apart and I can't tell anyone how
because it's super complicated. I'd hug my cat who means everything to me, but he's got so many problems
leading to him wearing a cone, so he can't clean himself and he's dirty. I'm worried if I cry that someone is
gonna worry about me so I hold it in to the point it hurts and that is.. probably not a good thing.
all my friends are vanishing from my only contact sites with them one by one and it's killing me.
and one of the websites I'm on is the only place I can put animations and stuff because I can't use youtube
but the thing about it is, there's literally no artist protection. everyone is allowed to use anything that
you post there and it just makes me so terrified to post anything without a watermark. another thing
is that I keep banging my head against stuff when I'm upset and it's probably doing a lot of internal
damage and I just feel like such a terrible person. please help me. pm me if you want, but I'm not the
best talker and don't really like being talked to most of the time.