Write a Letter You Cannot Send (Read the Rules!)

[liv :)]

Dear Brownie,

You have no idea how much I'd just like to confess my feelings for you. Just to get it over with. Not because I want a relationship with you...

But because I really, really don't want to like you. But obviously, I apparently don't control my feelings.

I've been seperating myself from you as much as possible because I hoped it would take my mind off you. Alas, my attempts at forgetting you have been futile. In fact, they seem to have had the reverse effect. You've been all I think about for a good 6-12 hour portion of the day, which is what I would label as an unhealthy obsession.

I wish that my feelings for you would disappear in the wind. I mean, I highly doubt you like me back, so there's absolutely no point to them. Maybe the reason why my brain keeps hanging on to my fantasies is because you give me mixed signals. Maybe you like to cause others confusion, or want people to try to figure you out. Either way, it makes me revile you further. If only my hatred could smother my interest in you, rather than vice versa.

If I could wish for one thing right now, it would be to know exactly how you feel so I would question our relationship less. It'll hurt; It always does. But, it's better than leading myself to believe that you could like me only to have everything break down for the 4th time in my life. I just want to leave you and my memory of you behind, because I know I'll swiftly move on once I either never see you again or find someone new to hopelessly admire.

With great sincerity, infatuation and exhaustion,
O_____

[sillies]

S d,

I wish you could tell me how he feels about me. I really wish I could know.


-Luna

S f,

I wish I could know how you feel about me :/

It almost hurts not knowing ):

-Luna

[chon]

dear e,
I DON'T EVEN LIKE YOU LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

[‍‍⠀]

dear s,

BE MY FRIEND

[.Deku.]

Dear life,

Why is it every time I meet someone who I get along with, and seems to like me for who I am, it never lasts? It's like either I end up letting my guard down enough just to get backstabbed, or I try so hard to reach out and it just goes ignored.

There's never a happy medium. At least not one that lasts. Sometimes I hate being the affectionate person I am. Am I really that bad that people feel the need to forget me that badly...?

I know people say you should never isolate yourself because it just makes problems worse, but I don't think I have much of a choice anymore. I'm tired of putting out all this effort and just getting hurt in return..

PS: Thank you K and C. I don't know what I'd do without you guys.. you're the only ones who keep me smiling

- M

[atychiphobia]

to a certain ninja;

wow gee, where do I start?
I miss you. I can see that life is about to throw me another mountain to climb. I have a small group of friends but none feel close. I think of you as my closest friend, isn't that funny considering...
I've never wanted to know someone as much as you, though I don't even know your name. For a minute I thought we were close. But silly me, I forgot that opening up to someone makes you float further apart. I wish I was game enough to tell you all this, to not hide as though I've done something wrong. I have been so influenced by you, you've really done some amazing things. But I guess I'm too insecure and anxious to ever talk to you again. Why do I have to hide from people whom I show my true colours to? I long to have someone close, but whenever the opportunity is near I stuff up. It's funny how the very few people I've ever felt so strongly about I end up running from.
If you're anything like me I know you'll find this and find out what I've written in this transparent text. You won't know it's you, and you won't know what to think. Yes, this is for you and I hope our friendship doesn't completely slip away.

for the epileptic dancer;

wow. How did it turn out like this? I thought we were going to be friends until the day we both turned senile and forgot about each other. One person ey? It took one person. One move. One decision. I don't get it. I made one choice and the avalanche that followed was insane. I tried to stay fair, I tried to stay kind, I tried to stay strong and I tried to stay true to myself. I didn't try hard enough. I constantly got hit down by others, making me feel like no matter what I did I was horrible anyway. I made countless offers to try and smooth things out, I broke countless times under the weight of everything. I offered to make things right. I threw everything I had out onto the table. Not once was that recognised. Not once was one of my offers or ideas taken. Not once did anyone try to fix anything. I reached out my hand and yet you didn't bother to take it. The abuse the others smashed me with was way past unreasonable or insane. I tried my hardest to make things right, and I left the final bit up to you, yet nothing changed. I'm not trying to throw an attack. I'm not trying to make you feel like I did. I'm not trying to appear as though I'm hating on you. I just want you to understand what I went through. To understand what it took for me to simply try to reconnect. There was a lot more going on that what appeared. And now I get sit back and see photos of you having fun with our other friends. I get to sit back and see what I don't have. I get to see others whom treat me like they're way above me enjoy what I once had.

[ShadowOfTheBird]

Dear S;

You're my brother- even if only by half- and i love you, but stop. When I want to talk to people I sit or stand around them, I get overwhelmed so easily. Everyone agrees that your constant swearing needs to stop as well, I even watch Markiplier and I think you're too much! You let our food go stale and waste our money with it, and you're judgmental over things I like, not to mention a hypocrite.

You can't take hints and that's the hardest thing about this, I'm so indirect and avoidant that I'm afraid to say things outright when I think it'll upset who I'm talking to, and it's coming back to bite me since I can't stand up for myself. There are so many things I want to tell you: swear less, put food back, grow up and write more than strictly fxf relationships, respect the opinions of others, pick up after yourself...

But I guess I'm just scared of the thought of angering you again.

~K, who is getting very tired of your crap.



Dear M;

God, you're a trooper for dealing with me through all this. I'm tired, frustrated, bitter, depressed, and upset on a regular basis and I have been since the year started: all because of S. You're probably reading this at some point so I just want you to know: you're like a big sister to me, and I care about and want to thank you more than I could ever express in words.

Funny how I'm upset and crying, yet an hour into a call with you I can't breathe because I'm laughing so hard. You always know just what to do, even if you don't realize it; and I can only hope I'll eventually get the same way.

I don't think I've ever met anyone I don't fear will forget me before.

~K, who is very tired but wanted to write this

[Crow.]

Dear S.
Are you really my friend? Like, I don't know anymore. I always talk to you as much as I can but I space out and go very quiet for a long time. I hang out with you at snack and lunch but i'm always behind you while you talk to another friend of ours. Who I don't really call so much of a friend since she doesn't pay very much attention to me but to you. I just end up staying behind in the group because if I go next to you I get pushed out. I just don't know, in math you're always just talking to someone else and don't talk much to me which is fine. Whenever it's time to go home you're always so fast to leave and never wait, but when its the other person we talk to you always wait for them. You invited me to a party the other day, I just sat for 7 hours, not doing or saying anything just sitting in the chair.

I didn't know anyone, yet I get you were trying to talk to me and such but I only came with you because "I want you to come because I don't want to be alone with my ex" but yet you were all buddy buddy flirty pals when you were there. I don't get it. What're you? Are you my friend or not. I don't want to be hurt again for the millionth time.

I don't want to sound obsessive, but I feel like i'm just out of the picture whenever someone else who is more chatty, socialized comes along. You have a ton of friends, you call me a "best" friend but am I really that? I don't want to overlook this. I don't feel needy or need your attention 24/7 hell i'd be fine without talking the whole day. It's just really confusing if you really are trying or not.


- Crow.

[fluffedcheshire]

Dear him,

I'm sorry I'm such a mess up. I'm sorry I can never tell you want I really mean, and I can never make up my mind. I'm sorry I'm so crazy and overprotective all the time. I'm sorry that you couldn't take it anymore, and left without telling my why. I'm sorry that all I ever do is mess things up with us. You deserve so much better than me, and I don't even know why you wanted to date me in the first place, but you did. I'm so, so sorry for making your mom hate you, and telling you she should have put you up for adoption, all because you stuck up for me when she was saying I wasn't good enough. Your eyes used to light up when you saw me, and you would pick me up and twirl me around, and give me little kisses for no reason, and every time I'd ask you'd just say "'cause if I don't, you might forget that I love you!" You were so kind and adorable, and I know you loved me. But why'd you leave? I won't be mad, I swear. I just want to know why? It was almost three years ago, and you never tell me why. You switched schools, blocked me, and I never knew why. I started to notice that when you saw me, your eyes wouldn't light up like they used to. You wouldn't pick me up, you'd give a faint wave and walk away. I'm sorry I wasn't enough for you, and I always regret that I didn't say it enough to you, and maybe that's why you left; but I love you. I always have, and I always will. I love you. Goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. You know I'll miss you until the end. <his favorite song.


Forever and always, Me.

[atychiphobia]

accidentally quotes what I wrote, don't mind me