You have one pronoun inconsistencyCelozon wrote:mm I've been trying to make a good treat story. Still not sure that I will actually go trick or treating this year, might just hand out treats, but we'll see. This is what I have so far, any opinions or suggestions to improve it? Does it sound too weird? I'll also take suggestions on the dressup (You'll probably need to do a hard refresh to see the updated version).The statue sat next to the door, almost hidden beneath ivy and crawling vines. Sadeas had guarded this home for many years, but today they would have an additional job. Sadeas watched closely as a trick or treater approached the house. Being unnoticed by passerbys had its merits, it was always easy to determine where someone should be given a treat, or a trick. As always, when a stranger approached the home Sadeas could feel the life being breathed back into themselves, once again they could walk and talk. How else could they guard a home if they could not move? However for the time being they remained still, awaiting the right moment to make themselves known.
"Hello friend" their whisper echoed in the dark. Something about being a statue night and day made the voice rusty. Sadeas waited a moment to continue, knowing their voice coming from the shadows beside the doorstep tended to alarm the unprepared. "That is a fine costume, please, take these." With a small smile (anything more tended to crack their face) Sadeas handed over several treats, then resumed his position in the shadows and ivy.
-TruBlue wrote:Are we allowed to hand out art treats? I'm thinking about making a halloween themed color-in if we're allowed
Castiel wrote: You have one pronoun inconsistency
but other than that it's really good
Celozon wrote:"Hello friend" their whisper echoed in the dark.
Celozon wrote:Thanks for the help with my story everyone! ^^
I also went and made a couple signature images, cause...leaves are gr8.
They are up in the stash now as well, if anyone has suggestions for others or for changes to these I'd be happy to hear them!
Celozon wrote:Thanks for the help with my story everyone! ^^
I also went and made a couple signature images, cause...leaves are gr8.
They are up in the stash now as well, if anyone has suggestions for others or for changes to these I'd be happy to hear them!
The door opened up to an empty house, save for a super energetic husky and a very laid back cat. "Hi hi hi hi! Happy Trick or Treating!" The husky barked, wagging its tail. The cat rolled its eyes. "Feel free to ignore Snowdrop, she loves everybody." The cat dropped a great amount of candy into your bag. "Happy Halloween, kiddo."
Herringbone wrote:It was the Basllisk household that everyone feared to step even one foot upon. The twin brothers were extreme tricksters and weren't afraid to pull their pranks on the trick-or-treaters. Not to mention, the two twin brothers would always have the creepiest costumes. This year, Alloy was a Necromancer, and Jet took it upon himself to become a Plague Doctor. They would both watch the children waltz right up to the door to get their treats. But if they saw a costume that they hadn't liked, or someone who had already came to their house, they took it upon themselves to make sure that imparticular person did not recieve a treat. Underneath their masks, they would both smirk as they snuck up behind the trick-or-treater knocking on their front door. They would wait until they knocked on the door and said the magical words:
"Trick or treat!" escape the vocals of the whomever it was. As soon as they did, the two brothers would instantly leap out from behind their hiding places and yell; "Trick!"Gold was the only sister of the Basillisk twin brothers. On Halloween, she was by far the kindest and was always ready to hand the treats to whomever came to the door. She would also try her best to keep her two older brothers from scaring yet another trick-or-treater away. Most of the times, she was able to beat her two brothers to the door and greet whoever came for a treat with a kind smile. "Ooh! You're costumes are just so adorable!" She'd say in a cheerful tone, clapping her hands together almost as soon as she opened the door. "Here you go! Have a little treat! And have a wonderful Halloween!"It would be nice if someone could leave feedback on the two stories and tell me if they're good. Suggestions would be nice as well so I could help improve my Tricksters and Greeter's stories. c:
Herringbone wrote:It was the Basllisk household that everyone feared to step even one foot upon. The twin brothers were extreme tricksters and weren't afraid to pull their pranks on the trick-or-treaters. Not to mention, the two twin brothers would always have the creepiest costumes. This year, Alloy was a Necromancer, and Jet took it upon himself to become a Plague Doctor. They would both watch the children waltz right up to the door to get their treats. But if they saw a costume that they hadn't liked, or someone who had already came to their house, they took it upon themselves to make sure that imparticular person did not recieve a treat. Underneath their masks, they would both smirk as they snuck up behind the trick-or-treater knocking on their front door. They would wait until they knocked on the door and said the magical words:
"Trick or treat!" escape the vocals of the whomever it was. As soon as they did, the two brothers would instantly leap out from behind their hiding places and yell; "Trick!"Gold was the only sister of the Basillisk twin brothers. On Halloween, she was by far the kindest and was always ready to hand the treats to whomever came to the door. She would also try her best to keep her two older brothers from scaring yet another trick-or-treater away. Most of the times, she was able to beat her two brothers to the door and greet whoever came for a treat with a kind smile. "Ooh! You're costumes are just so adorable!" She'd say in a cheerful tone, clapping her hands together almost as soon as she opened the door. "Here you go! Have a little treat! And have a wonderful Halloween!"It would be nice if someone could leave feedback on the two stories and tell me if they're good. Suggestions would be nice as well so I could help improve my Tricksters and Greeter's stories. c:
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