Lights On Lights Off Fanclub

[britneyrox]

Are we allowed to post greeting stories in here too?
As in a story I write to answer a person who knocked on my door.

Yes!

[Flatterina]

Good to know.

I'd like to present you my greeting story. Please tell me if there's anything you would change.

TREAT:

Delilah was almost asleep when she heard a knock on her door. Her ears pricked and turned towards the sound.
Was she to be visited at last?
Of course she had prepared everything for the big night. She didn’t feel well enough to go out herself, but she loved to see the little children smile whenever she handed them their treats.
Until now, nobody had come over, though. She had almost given up hope. So naturally she was even more excited to see the first person’s costume! Costumes were the best thing when it came to Halloween, if you asked her. Aside from the treats… but they were for the children going around, not for the lazy ones sitting at home, Delilah scolded herself.
She jumped out of her bed, quickly grabbed the bowl filled with sweets and rushed to the door.
She didn’t mind she still wore her sleeping clothes, they resembled a salmon and could be counted as a dress up – with a lot of fantasy, that was.
But she had a lot of fantasy, so tonight a huge salmon with cat fur lived in this house, opened the door and smiled at the kid.
“Trick or Treat!” they exclaimed and she couldn’t help but purr.
“You’re so sweet! Here, my dear, take this treat!”
After the little trick-or-treater had taken something out of the bowl, she smiled again.
“Have fun! And watch over yourself!”

TRICK:

Delilah was still in her costume and sat in the living room when she heard a knock on the door.
She looked at the clock hanging at the wall opposite her. Who would knock so late?
There wasn’t anything left in her once overflowing bowl. She frowned and pushed herself out of the chair, shuffling to the door and opening it.
She smiled when she saw the little kid and its lovely costume.
“Trick or Treat!” it said.
“I’m so sorry, my dear” she said, lifting her empty hands.
“There’s nothing left, you’re too late. Maybe try again next year.”

[hawaiianbabidoll]

@Flatterina personally I'd rephrase

“Trick or Treat!” they exclaimed
and
“Trick or Treat!” it said.

since a lot of people don't like it when you force their characters to do something in your story (even though they probably did say trick or treat, they might have whispered it or said it shyly, or stuttered it, etc.), but that's just me.

[Flatterina]

@Flatterina personally I'd rephrase

“Trick or Treat!” they exclaimed
and
“Trick or Treat!” it said.

since a lot of people don't like it when you force their characters to do something in your story (even though they probably did say trick or treat, they might have whispered it or said it shyly, or stuttered it, etc.), but that's just me.

Yeah, you're probably right.
I've changed it to "After they had finished saying their words, she couldn’t help but purr." and "They said their words, but she'd have to dissapoint them.", do you think that would be better?

[Celozon]

@Flatterina personally I'd rephrase

“Trick or Treat!” they exclaimed
and
“Trick or Treat!” it said.

since a lot of people don't like it when you force their characters to do something in your story (even though they probably did say trick or treat, they might have whispered it or said it shyly, or stuttered it, etc.), but that's just me.

Yeah, you're probably right.
I've changed it to "After they had finished saying their words, she couldn’t help but purr." and "They said their words, but she'd have to dissapoint them.", do you think that would be better?

Most people are going to have 'trick or treat!' at the end, mostly because it is mentioned on the front page that it should end with that. That said, its not a strict rule (no reason for it to be) so we don't force people to, so some don't. But if they don't, at least when I accept forms, I tell them its a good thing to add to the end of their story. It gives the story a good finish and set it up for a treat/trick story to continue it. For the most part though people tend to have 'trick or treat' in their story, or its implied that the pet is going to say it when the door opens.

Though I did think that with your trick story, you mention that its really late out and your character is surprised that someone is still out. I was just thinking at might contradict some people's stories since I know in a lot of people's stories, they just started trick or treating and its still early in the night, and even that this is the first house they are going to. So if you are worrying about story contradictions, you could switch that around. I don't think its a huge deal though.

Anyway, I really liked your trick/treat stories, and I do like how the trick story kinda explains why they are getting a trick. I think they sound really good!

[Celozon]

So, I've more or less finished putting my costume together, but I'd love to hear if anyone has any opinions on it. I'm kinda wondering if the background/scenery is too much and kinda overwhelms the character? (I go a little overboard sometimes) And I'd like to know if anyone has any suggestions for improving the costume itself? I am having more difficulty than normal this year c':

This is what I have right now. They look kinda empty without anything on their head, but I'm having trouble finding a good hat/headpiece that could be part of the costume. The wig fills up the space, but it doesn't actually add to the costume itself. I'm really trying to do a kind of hunter/deep woods, more of a primitive rather than modern vibe. I tried the ranger hat, which gave it too much of a 'robin hood' thing for my liking. Also the clover crown, though flower/leaf crowns tend to give me the image of someone skipping happily through a meadow (don't ask). And a kinda feather/headband thing, which I like better, it matches up to the rest of the costume, but I'm afraid it makes it look more Native American? Which I'm trying to lean away from. Also the luau wristbands which look alright, but I'm not sure they fit.

I haven't really decided what I want to go with it. Any opinions on those, or suggestions for something else I could try? Technically the costume would be fine without, its got plenty of pieces (bow + arrow, quiver, feather wrap, knife, & tooth necklace), but I'd really like to be able to add something on the head to give it a more complete feel.

I've also been working on my story, I'd love to hear what you all think of it, and if you think I should make any changes. I usually write them a bit longer but I wanted to keep it short this year.

Asiah jogged down the street best they could in their hunter outfit. It wasn't easy while trying to keep their quiver slung over their shoulder at the same time as holding onto a bow and keep their fake knife tucked into their wrap. Next year I need to bring less weapons. Asiah thought. I'm already late and now I can't even keep my costume together! The night was cool and clear, stars dappled the sky, and even though half the street lights were out, with the moon nearly full it was easy to see. Stopping on the sidewalk to catch their breath, Asiah realized that there weren't a whole lot of people around. In fact, the moonlit street was almost empty. There were a couple kids near the end of the street- was that a pumpkin costume? The other was waddling around in an astronaut costume with what looked like a fishbowl stuck on their head. When the pair walked up to a house and knocked on a door, Asiah could here the "Trick or treat!" all the way down the street. As Asiah continued to jog down to the nearest house, they tried to go as fast as they could, which wasn't very fast because they kept dropping various weapons. Just as Asiah reached the door, they tripped, dropping their quiver full of homemade arrows. Gathering up the arrows as fast as they could and stuffing them into the quiver, they knocked on the door and shouted "Trick or treat!", completely forgetting they still had an arrow in their mouth so it sounded a lot more like "trif r tret!"

[Crimson-Wisp]

So, I've more or less finished putting my costume together, but I'd love to hear if anyone has any opinions on it. I'm kinda wondering if the background/scenery is too much and kinda overwhelms the character? (I go a little overboard sometimes) And I'd like to know if anyone has any suggestions for improving the costume itself? I am having more difficulty than normal this year c':

This is what I have right now. They look kinda empty without anything on their head, but I'm having trouble finding a good hat/headpiece that could be part of the costume. The wig fills up the space, but it doesn't actually add to the costume itself. I'm really trying to do a kind of hunter/deep woods, more of a primitive rather than modern vibe. I tried the ranger hat, which gave it too much of a 'robin hood' thing for my liking. Also the clover crown, though flower/leaf crowns tend to give me the image of someone skipping happily through a meadow (don't ask). And a kinda feather/headband thing, which I like better, it matches up to the rest of the costume, but I'm afraid it makes it look more Native American? Which I'm trying to lean away from. Also the luau wristbands which look alright, but I'm not sure they fit.

I haven't really decided what I want to go with it. Any opinions on those, or suggestions for something else I could try? Technically the costume would be fine without, its got plenty of pieces (bow + arrow, quiver, feather wrap, knife, & tooth necklace), but I'd really like to be able to add something on the head to give it a more complete feel.

-snip story to shorten-

First off, I got to say that I love it when people pick a pet that's a challenge to dress for.

As for background, I think it's going good. The grass right behind the bow I feel isn't needed though. Because the blades are the same width as the bow, it makes the bow harder to see.

As for the hat, I played around for a bit to see what would look good.
I think the small, dark green squash works out.
It gives it a headband feel.


It also makes a good base to add on to. Examples;

Bunny tail


Any of the PI mustaches (red here)


Quill pen


And Im sure there's a bunch more.
Hope this helps!

[Dragonswan]

This is my first CS Halloween and I'm so excited! This sounds like so much fun!



I'll be living my dreams through Ms. Maus here as I have been a tad too old to actually physically go trick or treating for a few...::cough::hundred::cough::...years now. I don't have a whole lot of items yet so we went with the classic witch. That's what I always wanted to be for Halloween anyways. The movie Hocus Pocus came out when I was 7 and it's still one of my Halloween favorites. (Plus I'm still waiting for my Hogwarts letter.) I'm loving everyone's costumes and stories!

[ElementalInsanity]

Hey there guys! Before I posted my form I wanted to get some opinions on my little guy's outfit here this year. He's supposed to be a bumble bee, but I'm not too sure if it's a good enough and recognizable costume?
I really want to keep with dressing a little dwarf hamster this year, because they're just adorable.

[Celozon]

First off, I got to say that I love it when people pick a pet that's a challenge to dress for.

As for background, I think it's going good. The grass right behind the bow I feel isn't needed though. Because the blades are the same width as the bow, it makes the bow harder to see.

As for the hat, I played around for a bit to see what would look good.
I think the small, dark green squash works out.
It gives it a headband feel.


It also makes a good base to add on to. Examples;

Bunny tail


Any of the PI mustaches (red here)


Quill pen


And Im sure there's a bunch more.
Hope this helps!

Thanks for the suggestions! I'll probably make a few more changes before I put in my own form, thats a really good idea with the squash!

This is my first CS Halloween and I'm so excited! This sounds like so much fun!



I'll be living my dreams through Ms. Maus here as I have been a tad too old to actually physically go trick or treating for a few...::cough::hundred::cough::...years now. ;) I don't have a whole lot of items yet so we went with the classic witch. That's what I always wanted to be for Halloween anyways. The movie Hocus Pocus came out when I was 7 and it's still one of my Halloween favorites. (Plus I'm still waiting for my Hogwarts letter.) I'm loving everyone's costumes and stories!

That looks great! Does anyone really ever give up on getting a Hogwarts letter? even if its over a decade late

Hey there guys! Before I posted my form I wanted to get some opinions on my little guy's outfit here this year. He's supposed to be a bumble bee, but I'm not too sure if it's a good enough and recognizable costume?
I really want to keep with dressing a little dwarf hamster this year, because they're just adorable.

I recognized this immediately, before I even read anything you said, so I'd say its definitely good! I love the different items you used to dress him up, he's the cutest little bumblebee!