♫This might be the hardest song I've ever had to write
I dreamt about you last night
I only see you when I close my eyes tight
I wish I told you how I felt before you left
But it just never felt right
I wish I told you everything before you left
I won't forget the day that they found the growth in your chest
The cancer took ahold of your body and then it spread
I talk to you more now than I ever did—I'm a mess
This song will never capture the pain that I could express
I learned from you that nothin' is perfect, but try your best
I know you had your demons a younger me didn't get
And out of all our demons, our biggest might be regret♫
♫I guess I've lost me for a while, well
Welcome back
Lately I forgot how a smile felt, now
Picture that
Thought that I could buy happy, maybe buy a new car in all black
Put the whole entire team on the map
Everything I have now, had to work for all that
But, to see my dad again, I would give it all back.♫
♫My best friend do not got a mommy and he jealous of me
So I hug her extra tight before she's ready to sleep
In the morning I got lot to do and places to be
Mommy crying in the kitchen I pretend I don't see
Then I grab my bag I say goodbye and then she says it to me
As I'm walking out the door I wonder what's expected of me
I love my momma and I wanna make her problems go away
But I don't want to see a child in who is parenting me
A couple days ago I sat down in the kitchen with her
And she told me that she hate the way she look
And she get lonely when I'm gone 'cause she got nowhere to turn
So she tried to lose herself inside her book
The conversation ended as I'm feeling like a horrible kid
But I kept it and I didn't say a word
Because I knew that it would only make it worse
Mommy taught me confidence and now she insecure
Took me years just to say this, so I ain't leaving one thing out
When I see a tear on your face, is only thing I can think 'bout
Only thing I want to fix, if I can't help then I flip out
I saw you cry driving me to school then you wondered why I got kicked out
See I thought this was okay, my homie found out and he don't
When I told him I can't hang today 'cause my mom depressed she can't be alone
You taught me not to bite my tongue
You taught me I control my fate
You taught me how to get stuff straight
You taught me what is fair, this ain't
I don't want to hear about what could be why -removed- you gotta let the past control you.♫